molarbear

He was a zoom/lap dog, perfect combo

Meh, doesn't bother me. I feel like when they pull off some kinda american ninja warrior path to lick my face then I'm not going to say no. Who am I to turn down a face lick from a smiling dog that just ran some kinda fierce obstacle course to say "HUUMAN I LUVVA AND WANT TO BE FRANDS!"

Link failed for me You would have loved my best friend's Mom's Dog today He's the type of dog that just makes it his goal to lick people's faces, that is his self appointed duty in life He legit went full Zoomies then Parkour'd along the top of the couch to lick my face, repeatedly He was indeed a good pup

That's what the pillows are for

Take your fucking like sir. You've earned it

This Scenario was acted out in an old Vietnam movie A dude accidentally stepped on a land mine What you gotta do is stack pillows all around said Cat and then have LB sprint and tackle you away from the cat explosion attack zone

Cubs just traded for Cole Hamels which I'm fairly positive means Chatwood is out of the Starting Rotation Hopefully Quintana and Hendricks can find their groove again and the Cubs will have a semi solid Starting Rotation again instead of Lester going beast mode

I didn't, my friend's dad did when he first got him he'd act all sheepish and stick his tail behind his legs and put his ears down when you approached him now he's actually bonding with people

Doggo laid next to me when he's previously got the shit beat out of him by his previous owners Doggo just was like "Yo, you gave me ear scratches. I will now sleep next to you."

Right? Talented safety, terrible name

Packer's have a safety named Ha-Ha Clinton Dix, which I looked into one night while bored and HA HA isn't his real name but he rolls with it because his Grandma gave it to him as a nickname and you just don't disagree with your Nana

I can change a baby's diaper and have killed a spider with my bare hand (it was crawling at me while I was sitting) I'm also convinced I fist fight bears in my sleep I'm at least a man child at this point

DD's or Uber are the only way I roll when I'm drinking one of my best friend's doesn't really drink so he's always hooking me up when alcohol is involved the only downside is he's also always attempting to wing man for me and he's terrible at it... like facepalmingly bad. We'll be playing pool or something and he'll all the sudden go "did you see that girl sneeze over there? That's totally a sign that she's into you"

too soon bruh, too soon

You really need to raise your standards because bennifer looks like a tiny dog fucked a Gremlin's first spawn that was fed after midnight and then covered in water and the afterbirth is him. To sum it up he looks like a homeless pencil.

What happens when your trashcan accidentally slits a throat?

I hate when that happens in public

I read this and was all like "TOM PETTY!" Then I remembered he passed and had managed to wall that off until I was reminded that Tom Petty is gone.

I too am into erotic vegetable cutting and find myself fapping after sexily chopping peppers way more than I should

Traffic, more people? I've only been sticking around hoping Zeni will teach me to be an Alpha someday

I just want to go wherever dogs go

^this It's sunday night and my creative juices are not flowing in my brain currently

worst check swing ever!

https://deadspin.com/two-umpires-suspended-after-teaming-up-to-make-worst-ca-1827745836 this is the check swing I was speaking of