molarbear

Watch some College Football

sleep the hangover off

I get a 3 o'clock shadow after about 3-4 days of not shaving, even then it's all patchy

Now you have me questioning some of my picks, this is Psychological warfare at it's finest.

Today my shirt was on inside out most of the day and no one said anything about it I only discovered it during lunch when I attempted to open one of those stupid ketchup tear packets and it shot a stream of ketchup on me The cool part was after cleaning it up I got to wear my shirt the right way and no one could see the stain

Please tell me someone pet the doggo

Like legit vacation or you finally snapped and murdered your co workers vacation?

All I know is I'm 1-0 in the pick ems part I'm going to enjoy my perfect record while it last I still refuse to recognize the Falcons as a team due to their catastrophic choke in the Super Bowl two years ago

I love that game but seriously it can eat a dick I'll never forget being in 10th grade and playing it at 2 am and my character's sanity was getting low and her body just snapped in half and then I was walking on the ceiling seriously thought I was having a stroke or something for a few seconds

I want you all to know in our last hours together that I faked every orgasm I ever had with any of you

I threw it back even further

Bar-S hot dogs are pretty legit I hate coffee when I enter a plane I always think I'm going to die because I hate heights so I reach up (instead of jumping because plane entrances are like 3 ft tall) and touch the top of the door way while sliding my hands across like the OU players do while exiting the tunnel and hitting the "play like a champion sign" to boost my morale

I hate tomatoes but like pasta sauce and ketchup

it's still going to taste good

I've always put my ice cream scoop on the stove top for a short amount of time, I never thought of microwaving the entire gallon

Whenever I make a bowl of ice cream I microwave it for 8-10 seconds I tell people it's because I've had sensitive teeth my whole life (which is true) the reality is I just like my ice cream to be mushy

They really did I don't know what happened to the 2k series but at least it was passable as a decent baseball game

Goat:Packers LOL:Jets (sorry Pooh)

I have a xbone because I like the Halo games I've thought about also buying a PS4 because they have the MLB: The Show series but in my head I can't justify forking over $300 just to play a single game

I bet with the way modern tv is going you could probably get some network to fund a show of you hunting for your foreskin

Introduce some kind of gaming device! Bust out a Gamecube or something and offer it with a free coffee! I personally hate coffee but if a coffee place around here offered free Mario Kart tourneys, I'd step up. Buy some Green Tea, water, or (gasp) bagel.

I just follow the general practice I was taught in Elementary school of carrying sharp objects with their sharp points towards the ground Otherwise if it's a puncture wound I always leave the object in instead of pulling it out while applying pressure around the wound Tourniquets and that @Rogue߷Alphonse suggested are damn near impossible on the Torso to my knowledge. You'd be cutting blood flow to near 50% of the body, also the power needed to cut off blood flow to your abdominal region would be of Hulk-ish or require probably at least 6 people using their full strength, it'd also probably crush the shit out of your abdominal muscles. The whole wait thing, if you ever put a tourniquet on someone it's best to write the exact time on said tourniquet when it was applied so the EMT's/Hospitals know what they're working with. It's a last resort to stop someone from bleeding out, it's basically you're willing to sacrifice the limb to save someone.

well... fuck they're doing better than Kansas then

MUTHA F'N LABYRINTH