molarbear

YES!!!!!!

I saw an episode of Cops where this dude jumped out of his car, ran into the woods, and attempted to pretend like he had been asleep in the woods the whole time That dude deserved a fucking Oscar for his performance

you're off your game Bro I look like a Mormon Serial Killer (I can't take credit for any of those insults, friends delivered) in that photo and you didn't touch on that you instead chose to bring up me having some kind of toxic urine that brightly stains sinks

Once again, I find myself out of the loop .....darn

I think what you're seeing is the fake marble

where's the category of people that just play video games without purchasing urine?

That Home run Derby was pretty exciting tonight

Enjoy your last year before joining the 3-0 club

That's why you gotta stick to just a Stache man That's 2 weeks without shaving, that sound you hear is Burt Reynolds rolling over in his grave in sheer jealousy

I gotcha dude Here's some photos of my old pupper

I just get cranky

Fuck dude Throw a dart at a clock Things got a mind of it's own and 3/4 of the time I couldn't tell you why it decided to raise the flag

fucking Methuselah

I'll probably be assigned to the same dinner table as you

Now I just want to swap all your dimes and pennies

Wouldn't you need 4 then?

You gotta cut back on those Jolly Ranchers bro

I can't take that or Claritin, they make me way too loopy I'm not sure if it just hits me harder than most people or what but last time I took a Benadryl I supposedly tried to put my sock in the toaster

That's my shoulders currently

All I know is the other day I was at an outlet mall with my Aunt and some lady walked into the store with 3 golden retrievers when she told me it was ok to pet them and I was immersed into a vortex of tails wagging at the speed of bark, had I been struck by lightning at that moment I would have viewed it as a good way to go

I have a weird vocabulary because My Mom is from here and my Dad is from Chicago

Imagine a Cowbell solo so sick that the cow spontaneously combusted on stage That would be fucking metal sir

Not nearly as catchy as ring around the rosie