nameraka

how soon is now?

how exactly did you eat the oreos? which method did you use? (remove top and eat frosting first, dunk in milk, etc) also, did you count out the exact number of oreos that were in the bag before you started so that you would know exactly how many comprised half the bag? lastly, do you think it's weird to sexually fetishize the eating of oreos? Why or why not?

very. it also told me you're the father.

i believe it.

this is so true.

my mom's family have always maintained that their dark hair and complexion stemmed from native american ancestry. nope. i'm like 5% black. 😮 they're like 100% racist. i am so going to the reunion this year.

i'm your alt

clearly you were an electrician in a previous life. duh.

clearly you were temporarily shunted into another dimension...

that's actually what i was thinking about. i'm trying to write a short story, but i need some specific examples and all of my own are kind of lame.

anyone ever have a moment where they were absolutely sure that a thing happened only to find out that there was actually some doubt that it did?

‘Bout what?

If you feel like you're just waiting around to die...😐

i didn't need to know that.

It's bad for business. I know. Old people are sexy as hell, but please exercise some restraint. Thanks. Management

This thread. right... now... 😯

It matters.

Better finishing moves.

More evolved than what?

???

I don’t work when I’m not on the schedule, okay Becky?

Naw dude. naw. im gonna need that there to be free.

I tweeted once. once.

again?

my colon hasn't been right since the great jalapeno popper event of 2011.