EmpressAngel

I want one.

Genuine question, why? Do you actually believe he's innocent, and dozens of people are lying about him for absolutely no reason beyond shits 'n giggles? Including other voice actors and industry professionals, who would be risking their entire careers for no discernible benefit if they were making up false claims about behavior they've witnessed and complaints they've made in the past?

Alright I'm on board with the kaijus but what does this have to do with Hellraiser and Totodoroki?

Hero- I love my son. I bet Hexxus here makes a mean cocktail. Yeah of course they're gonna be scared, they're literally children being attacked. Uh hey Deku you okay there. Alright kid it's time to embrace your inner Blastoise. Don't worry he's still got his legs. Okay that attack was not my fault. Pin me down next, I mean what. And then he turned into jello. "You got your ass handed to you by a magic scarf." I like this crazy guy. Aizawa wondering how the fuck he broke his arms again. Tell Mandalay I love her. Thanks Deku! Awww look at him carrying the kid. Aizawa confirmed for best dad. You heard the man, start breaking their limbs instead. Oh boy, Deku's about to pass out. Awwww kid. Yeah you absolutely need to apologize for that punch to the scrotum. Goddammit Deku tell her his actual name. Don't touch my son. Surprising assist from the ninja turtle. Well that was a convenient distraction. Yeah I'm sure Bakugo's gonna avoid combat. This guy is creeping me right the fuck out. Okay the teeth thing is terrifying. Go for it, Hardboy Boogaloo. Well thank god somebody here is smart. GUN. Aw shit there goes his mask. Oh fuck he's bleeding. Whelp, you're fucked. Well, he's trying his best. Shit he's cracking. HANDS. Surprisingly good move from the yaoi hands. Ya did good, kids. Ohhh Deku that is really not looking healthy for your body. Oh hey-SHIT HIS HAND. Aw shit, Bird Stand on the loose. REVELRY IN THE DARK. SAO- I'm a good person I don't deserve this. It may have been two years but it feels like I've been watching this season for a decade already. It's been two years and yet they don't look at all different. Welcome to the harem. Does Kirito not remember that he has an actual girlfriend? Is her name Swordalina how lazy were you on making names that day. Oh, so you can just win by IMAGINATION that's a great goddamn game mechanic. Note: at this point I gave up and spent most of this hour giving myself a manicure. So these two dudes are the eventual rapists, right? Okay this bit is the first thing that actually sounds like a legit game quest. Of course he's gonna be better than the top student in the entire school. Please stab him. Oh no he's got so much IMAGINATION. And then Kirito wins via harem flashbacks. Blah blah blah I don't care show. Soooooo these guys are definitely the inevitable rapists right. Oh no your flowers. Hey Kirito remember your actual girlfriend? THE PRAYERS OF THE FLOWERS. And now he can bring bac the dead I guess. Aaaaand here's the inevitable victims, I'm sure. Use the door, you pompous ass. I'm sure that window line isn't going to come into play later. Well that was an hour of unlikable TV but on the bright side my nails look pretty good so it wasn't a total waste. Jojo- You can go ahead and let Rohan die. "Foot fetish dick," this dub is a gift. NO DON'T STOP FOR PHONE. Stands don't know math, Josuke. Dammit baby! Shiny D is such a great stand. Sorry about your money, random dude. Josuke you could just fix the phone. Oh no you ruined that guy's life. Dog. Don't drink and drive, kids. Oh right, motorcyles aren't great in the ocean. Goddammit Josuke. So this poor guy slammed into a brick wall and then got shot with a damn arrow while he was bleeding out, that's just mean. Well that's one creepy stand. Aw crap you're out of gas. What. I don't think cars are stand-proof, Josuke. This nurse is not gonna help you. LET'S KILL DA HOE. I love Act 3. Douche Koichi is so much fun. Oh hey Josuke. I love Koichi so much. Aw crap that's a lot of feet. Dude's got a legit harem. Oh, he's pretty cute. Joke's on you, he could just fix you if you asked. Jojo piss fetish strikes again. That's nasty. It's probably the one whose period you pointed out. Hey there, Josuke. I kinda love this harem. I don't know how fast that is in American but I'm guessing pretty fast. Kick his ass anyway. He's healed, NOW kick his ass. I'd also like to be nursed back to health by adoring fangirls. You should have just let Rohan die. And also Jotaro's here. Meanwhile, milf. Hi kitty! Clover- Man, Jojo's really in the middle of a shit sandwich tonight ain't it. No, I'm not lucky enough for you to be dead. This sure isn't ripping off the Naruto fox demon thing at all. Nah, your magic is never shutting up. "Something isn't right here" gee buddy you think? I'm sure this fight would be much more impressive if I gave even a micro-shit about either of these characters. Well, this is less terrible to watch than Sword Art. Sir that awful feeling is just a natural reaction to witnessing Black Clover. Yelling "No no no no no NO!" is also a natural reaction to Black Clover. At least if you die you don't have to be in this show anymore. Son of a bitch he can still speak. I'd rather just die here. Meanwhile, those two are definitely gonna fuck. Thanks, ominous flock of crows. Kill them all, you fantastically dressed bitch. I do enjoy seeing Asta suffer. Can you control him into not speaking again? I'm okay with this as long as he doesn't talk. Hunter- Well hey at least you got a nature reserve out of this whole situation. I am delighted that the gun lobster survived. So wolf dude is just old forever now I guess. I have no idea who that girl is. How did this creepy fucker survive. Don't die until you're dead. Should you be shotgunning beers at your age? Awww this ant girl is precious. That reaction is not unexpected. Careful, she's got a rake. Oh shit it's those kids' mom. I'm not crying you're crying. AWWWW EVERYONE'S NICE TO THEM. I didn't even know lobsters could cry but here we are. Hey Morel. You're magic, don't question it. Aww she's adorable. WHAT. Hey Gon you okay there buddy. I am genuinely surprised that Knuckle survived this entire arc. Thank god you're rich. Someone please hug Killua. Please just help my son. Uh hey kiddo where are you going? HELLO BUNNY GIRL. Oh fuck it's Gon's shit dad.

I can excuse the punch to the scrotum because he's a traumatized little kid. Also, it was really friggin funny. Maybe that helmet actually fried his brain back in season 1 and the joke's on all of us for expecting any kind of logic. Mostly I'm just disappointed in her for not killing any of them.

I assume you can get a McNuggets appearance for bargain-basement prices now that other cons have cancelled him. Like, if you want a really creepy clown for your next Halloween party you can probably get a good deal on him.

While I'm sure there are plenty of nutjob fangirls and terrible people happy to see McNuggets, I can't imagine a con can do well with only one guest, especially after his reputation is so stained. The fact that they announced him only three weeks before the con seems really gross to me; it comes off like they were intentionally hiding it as long as possible until it was too late for fans to cancel their plans without losing a ton of money. Add in that their website says tickets are nonrefundable, and they're putting fans in a really uncomfortable situation. I've never heard of this con before, but I'd feel pretty disgusted to find out that my money went towards paying to bring a sexual predator straight back to his preferred environment. Sidenote, what kind of absolute dipshits are organizing this con? I know Vic was probably cheap to get, but they'd already signed on several of his former coworkers that have been very outspoken against him. Who looked at that lineup and said "Hey, let's throw in the guy that pretty much all our other guests are explicitly uncomfortable being around and who's been fired from the very franchise we're celebrating?"

HE APOLOGIZED TO HIS MOM AND ALL MIGHT. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

That is gonna be one awkward convention. I wonder how long it takes him to forget the entire shitshow that just happened and start putting his mouth on underage girls.

Hero- Time for some REVELRY IN THE DARK. Oh fuck that kid is doomed. Don't threaten me with a good time, Aizawa. Haaaaa Douche Rogue failed. Please don't get your ass kicked again, Aizawa. That is a Ninja Turtle. I love Tiger. Oh hey Yaoi Hands and Hard Boy #2. Thanks Momo. Ohhhhhh we're gonna have a bad time here. Just give him the hat. Aw fuck it's a titan. OH FUCK HE KILLED HIS PARENTS. Oh thank god Deku's here. MY PHONE. Oh that was real stupid of you. Okay his comforting smile is slightly terrifying. Maybe don't let the fire boys use their quirks around the gas. Oh jesus what the fuck. Aw crap it's a Hellraiser. Flirt with me, Mandalay. Aw fuck where's Ragdoll. Run away little boy. You can just take Bakugo. Now would be a great time for All Might to show up. Oh, that's disgusting. Someone hug this little boy. Ewwww your arm's in his muscle. His shirt just exploded. Aw shit you broke your limbs again. FUCK HE'S STILL GOING. I hope this new plan is running the fuck away. Oh this is gonna hurt. Damn he's really going all in on that Monty Python's Black Knight strategy. RUN AWAY, KID. I'm gonna cry. Thanks for the refreshing splash of water. THAT IS TOO MUCH PERCENT. Oh shit a double location smash the absolute madman. Did...did he win? Shut up I'm not crying. SAO- Well it's nice that I can just tune the fuck out of the first chunk of this. The human brain contains 100 billion cells and I am rapidly losing them by the minute here. "We've already copied a human soul" is totally something you say when you're not evil as fuck. YEAH WE JUST COPIED THE SOULS OUT OF BABIES NOTHING CREEPY AND WEIRD ABOUT THAT. And then I assume you fucked them. Big deal you know how to play The Sims. Religion does ruin all the fun. I feel like there are easier ways to make killbots than this elaborate video game baby stealing plot. Nah, Kirito probably still would have agreed as soon as he heard there was a giant sword. Sorry but the day we have to contemplate the human rights of pornbots is the day the internet dies. So they needed Kirito entirely because this dumb bastard keeps getting stuck in video games. Harem conference. Well an AI going out of its way to save a life sounds like the exact opposite of what this project wants. That is a dumb name. Every time I hear the word "fluctlight" I lose a day off my lifespan. That's creepy. Is that the gross nurse who wanted to fuck him? Random titties will not help this story. Are you really gonna sit here and act like the mass murderer was actually a really nice guy deep down? No, you absolutely should hate him. He murdered THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE. "I know he destroyed thousands of lives but I got laid so it's all good." Are we supposed to like Asuna after this? Boxing- At least Nanbu's taken to this whole blind thing pretty well. I'll dance with Joe. It really is funny that the match for Best Robot Arm Boxer is being fought by two dudes without robot arms. Yuri is doing surprisingly well for a dude who just had major surgery. Steely Dan and doggo are friends now. Oh hey it's that guy. I know nothing about boxing, are dick punches allowed? Ouch. Well, this could be going better. Oh hey, he finally got a hit in. If your soldiers need to punch the shit out of enemies, this is right up your alley. Thanks, helpful urchin. Who wins if they just punch each other to death? Is it raining in the building what kind of shitty construction is this place? Can you actually cry without eyes this is a question I've literally never had to ask myself before. Goddammit Joe. Aw shit somebody's got Dio's stand here. Aww she's not such a heartless bitch after all. YAY HE WON. Aww the urchin and the dog are friends. Oh, he didn't die. I'm glad things turned out well for this kid. Stop wrecking your bike! Believe in me that believes in you. Another scorcher. What is with this demented clown music. Awww look at the kids with their baby gear. That was an unexpectedly happy ending. Jojo- I love watching Rohan suffer. Aliens aren't known for their understanding of subtle nuiances. His laughter creeps me out. ROHAN WHAT THE FUCK. You literally kidnapped a boy, you don't get to judge anyone. Oh it's this douche. Rohan when did you even call him? Bold of you to assume anyone would feel guilty about swindling Rohan. Oh crap the dice is sick. AW CRAP IT'S A SIREN. Where the fuck is this emergency. What the fuck. I enjoy his house burning down. Joseph would be proud of that con. You did good, Legolas. I love that milf. Uh kid that's real creepy. I'm even more confused about him than before. Mikitaka is definitely the most bizarre part of this show. Aw crap it's Rohan. Okay bigger question, why was your house decorated as the set of Pretty Woman? Aw fuck is it Kira again. THE ROOM IS A STAND. I absolutely have no faith in you, Rohan. Nothing suspicious about this. Oh, that's creepy. Run, you dumbass. THE ROOM IS A STAND. Damn that thing's got some speed on it. And then he got hit by a bus. I'm happy about this turn of events. Don't worry at this rate you'll never have to see his smug face again. Josuke just trun around and let this happen. Just chilling on the floor in this phantom tunnel room, nothing weird about that. Surprisingly decent of you, manga man. GODDAMMIT JOSUKE. Good luck finding that user. Clover- God, I hate all of you. I'm sure this flashback is tragic for anyone who gives a half a fuck. So then did she forget all that angry fire shit that just happened? Just fuck already. I still don't understand how we're supposed to like Noelle. Oh, that guy's still alive. "I'll kill you" is definitely how I feel about 90% of these characters. If you kill off everyone you automatically become my favorite character. Being loud and obnoxious are not traits we need both of these characters to have. Blah blah blah you're a lone wolf and don't need anyone I don't care. YEET, MOTHERFUCKER. I miss you, Captain Sexy. Somebody just die already. If you can't outsmart Asta you don't deserve to live. You dumb bastards. This show continues to not know when to end an arc. I do appreciate Asta getting hurt. Queen Bitch is disappointed. Oh, that's not normal. Maybe I'll be lucky enough that this will kill him. Hunter- You know shit gets real when the episode has no OP. Aw crap he's gonna find them. Hooray, you won? That's surprisingly decent of him. Who would have guessed that losing at checkers 1000 times would make him into a better person. Wait why is he dying? Thanks for the compliment I guess. Someone give Palm a hug. Let's all point and laugh at Pouf's corpse. His smile freaks me out. Well this is interesting. Oh hey Morel's alive. How dare you insult Palm like that. Don't be a dick, Sour Bill. Is that disc full of porn. Awwww. "Resignation" is a funny way to say "blew himself the fuck up with a nuke." And now, poetry. This is almost heartwarming. I don't know enough about Korean checkers to have any idea what's going on. Awwwwwwwww. You selfish bastard you didn't have to guilt trip her into staying and dying of radiatin poisoning. Oh this is depressing.

You're goddamn right it is.

I wonder if this means we're not getting an April Fool's gag this year at all.

How do you miss me screaming "BOYFRIEND MIGHT TIME" every single week?

Bold of you to assume anyone's watching Sword Art Online for the plot.

Considering every other show aired perfectly fine, it seems more like there was a problem with Sword Art itself. Megalo repeating its first half wasn't a glitch, they probably just threw on the next thing that was ready to play to fill up the air time but didn't want to screw up the schedule all night by playing everything 15 minutes early.

No I'm calling it my favorite episode.

Hero- Damn 1-B teacher's got some meat on him. Look at these kids go. Heeey Aizawa. I wonder what Ragdoll would see with All Might. Okay I love Tiger. CAT PUNCH. Hi there random flashback All Might I'll take what I can get. It's not that deep, Iida. Todoroki is best camp stove. Eww. Please hug this kid. Of course Deku knows who his parents are. Just a friend, totally not me. TINY DEKU. Aw fuck. And then Hellraiser was here. Aizawa never sleeps. Let these kids rest. Deku's right where's my boyfriend. I wonder if they're keeping All Might away so that Ragdoll can't see his weakness. Revelry in the dark. I wouldn't trust Bakugo with a knife. Todoroki still probably thinks Deku is All Might's son. Probably flex and say something encouraging. Don't threaten me with a good time, Aizawa. Revelry in the dark. Aw crap they put Bakugo and Todoroki together. Poor Deku. REVELRY IN THE DARK. Awww my girls. Ohhhh crap. Congratulations show you found a fire user I won't fuck. Nooo not the cute cat lady. SAO- Just shoot her nobody knows she's here. Yeah sure let's pretend this makes sense. STIMULATE HIS FLUCTLIGHT. She has a real good question what IS the point of this? I can feel a bit of my fluctlight die a little inside with this explanation. "We've already copied a human soul" doesn't sound evil and ominous at all. Okay this glitch is genuinely the most I've ever enjoyed an episode of Sword Art Online. Boxing- I'm in such a good mood tonight. Oh that sounds extensive and painful. I keep forgetting that she's still kind of a bitch. Yuri's a cool dude. I hope y'all got Nanbu to a hospital. No shit it's bothering him. Oh hey it's that guy. Aww he's got a pack of seeing eye urchins. Try not to kill the crippled veteran. I just now noticed that the trainer has a fake arm. Just a secluded sex cabin in the woods. Steely Dan turned out to be a surprisingly decent guy. Oh christ go to a fucking hospital for that why does everybody in this show hate real doctors. I hate her a a person but damn she's got a great wardrobe. Maybe he shouldn't have done this right before the fight. What the fuck is going on tonight. Don't be a bitch, let him fight. It's because punching is fun. Flashback, go! Is the better way hooking? That's quite a description. Joe is super cute and that fills me with a sense of unshakable dread. Hey Yuri you okay there buddy? For the love of god have some drugs. What kind of bullshit is that just take the goddamn painkillers. Oh they fuckin. Jesus the magma boxer nightmare isn't new? Awww puppy. Should you really be up and moving around now? Biiiiiiiiiiiitch. How did Steely Dan end up as the better sibling here? Hey there Joe how you doing. Bring back the rapping urchin. Jojo- The hell? NOT TODAY, LEGOLAS. Oh this song is great. Jotaro just chillin' at the beach with some murder research. It's never good when we hear that radio. I'm kinkshaming. And he would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling Jojos. That is one thirsty milf. Please don't kill her. Kira if you're not gonna plow that into next week I sure as hell will. Yes Okuyasu it's a slop hurdle. Well this is bizarre. You found Orando Bloom. Uh you okay there Legolas? I love these idiots. That boy ain't right. Never trust a strange man asking you if you'd like the cream. We all enjoy owning house pets. They're communicating telepathically now. Oku's right he is indeed a loony motherfucker. Sirens do indeed suck. Josuke is a good boy. Cool shoes. Okay Legolas here might be the weirdest goddamn thing in this show. I kinda love this weirdo. Kinda disappointed that he can't turn into Dio's steam roller. This seems like a scheme Joseph would come up with. I fully approve of swindling Rohan. Why does he dress like he lost a fight to a lawnmower every morning. Nobody likes you, Rohan. Whelp. Joseph would be proud. I love watchign Rohan suffer. Shit biscuits. Clover- I wonder if I'm lucky enough to have this show fuck off for the night too. I guess tonigiht's just a night for burning down the forest. I'm still rooting for the angry girl here. Well, that was easy. For the love of god, shut the fuck up. Hey where's your girlfriend who was about to die? I still don't care about anyone's backstory, show. This really seems like a huge waste of resources, spending years training kids to be top fighters and then killing off most of them. Use Asta as a human shield. My head usually hurts during this show. You're really stealing my entire brand here, lady. I just wanna watch somebody die. Yes he wants to die he literally just said that. I mean, it seems more like she jumped on that spike than anything. Why is he not burning to death for my amusement. Good if he fails they'll be killing like six birds with one stone. RIP dragon. And we continue the proud tradition of this series not knowing when to goddamn end a fight. What the shit is this. Her smile is unnerving. Hunter- Yeah we get it humanity is the real monsters. Oh, that's horrifying. Suffer, you butterfly douche. But can you see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Hi there. You just shot him no big deal. Goddammit Pouf. My heart is probaby horrifying to look at. Jesus christ Pouf. Gee I dunno maybe it's because you're lying to him. Just kill him already. Sorry wolf dude you're fucked. Oh no, tell him whatever you want you're still gonna die. Ohhh he's mad. Pouf is having the worst day and I love it. No don't stop rip his head off. Ohhhhh he's gonna eat you. Yikes. OH SHIT. Remember this time that never happened when you played checkers in a photogenic wheat field. Pouf is about to have a fucking stroke. Thanks, wolf dude.

This is genuinely the most I've ever enjoyed an episode of Sword Art.

Here's the Japanese version on Crunchyroll. You can see him blushing during that scene at 15:46. And hey, here's the actual panel from the manga where he is also blushing:

A lot of people are into that scruffy, disheveled badass look and the fact that he runs around with what is basically an instant bondage rope doesn't hurt. Also there's his attitude of being stern and hard to impress but still has a decent sense of humor and that's appealing in its own. Throw in a cool power and fighting skills and the lengths he goes to protect his students and you've got a pretty solid choice in thirst targets. Plus he likes cats. Bitches love dudes who like animals.

So like, where do I sign up to have Aizawa and a couple of hot catgirls beat me into shape because I am way to into this