EmpressAngel

You think anybody's out there stanning Vic Mignogna if they're capable of doing any kind of basic research? Just be impressed he managed to figure out how to upload a video.

Congratulations, and I love that TG's being used as an example of how not to watch anime. Hero- Well this could be going better. Oklahoma Smash is a tornado. Just let garbage dilf fry them all, it's the only thing he's good for. Oh good they're okay. This is why he's BEST Jeanist. Fuck you and your dramatic opera music and your knock-off Darth Vader helmet. BEST JEANIST NO. Meanwhile, the kids continue to piss their pants. Leave Bakugo alone, I don't hate him anymore. Iida is a stern but loving father to his idiot children. HELLOOOOOOO BOYFRIEND. God, I'm into this. Appropriate that it's Star Wars day because this fucker can use the Force. Aw fuck he can use other people's quirks like puppets. Please don't kill my boyfriend. Kill them all, Bakugo. How DARE you use his line. This could really be going better. Too bad Bakugo hates you all. FRIENDSHIP. Kirishima is the only person that Bakugo doesn't outright hate, let's run with that. Are...are you just gonna throw Hardboy at them? Oh this is downright heartwarming. NYOOOM. And Bakugo's heart grew three sizes that day. And Mt Lady saves the day. HI GRANPA. Aw crap. There is absolutely porn of that magnet bit. SHIIIIIIIT. Please don't kill my boyfriend...or my grandpa...or my kids. Wait did his mentor have the same name as Fuckhands' real name? I got a real bad feeling about this. Neverland- Because my nerves weren't already at the breaking point tonight. Shit, she knows. Are they gonna fuck? Well now you're gonna have to find a new Cabbage Patch doll. Ray speaks the truth, these kids can't survive. Whelp, my dumb ass would be useless here. This is going too well. He's like four, how can he be a spy. That seems awfully soon, I can't even go away for a week without planning for two months. Well this seems ominous. We don't have time for denial here, boy! Yeah, people, right. Yeeeeah, she's safe she's just fine. Someone hug these kids. I like Ray's original idea of just killing the adults instead. Oh no I was just starting to trust her. GODDAMMIT THEY'RE BOTH TRAITORS. Well show you have successfully bamboozled me. ONE FEAR. You're a good kid, glasses girl. I mean, not being eaten by monsters is a great incentive to turn traitor. Emma is so much nicer than I'd be in this situation. So it was tall boy after all. OH SHIT MOTHERFUCKER I TRUSTED YOU. Sword Art- And now for some kids I want to see eaten by monsters. Shut the fuck up, Kirito. You leave Alphonse Elric out of this. This OP isn't garbage enough for this show. Kill them, red guy. Goddammit, that was so close to stabbing him in the balls. "Purify yourselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka." I approve of setting their arms on fire. Great now he's a shitty version of Todoroki. CAW CAW, MOTHERFUCKER. You goddamn idiots. Somewhere, Endeavor is inexplicably pissed even more than usual. RIP that sweet armor. And of course now he's all friendly with them. Sounds like they should charge them head on. Fuck you Kirito let him have this. It doesn't count if he doesn't remember it. I mean, my brain would shit itself too if I had to listen to Kirito babble at me for a few minutes. You get back in there and kill him, you pussy. Here, have some balls. Well Eugeo you're completely goddamn useless here aren't you. How long before they have to save these two underage girl from violent sexual assault? Jojo- I love watching Rohan suffer. What the fuck. Nobody likes you, Rohan. Control your boner, Kira. Oh these people are going to die. I wonder if Jotaro can freeze time and rip that thing off his back. It's a good thing everyone already thinks Rohan is weird as shit. This guy is having a strange day. HI DOGGIE. Cats are dicks. Why are there so many cats. I appreciate Rohan getting mauled by dogs. Koichi no just let this happen. Koichi is such a good friend. On the bright side his shirt already looked like that. S-H-I-T. Bizarre, you say? Aaaand he's gone nuts. Oh hey, it's the demon ghost street. Hi Reimi! Oh shit they're gonna find him. He may be a terrible person but Kira's theme is great. This man has not been kinkshamed enough. I'm uncomfortable with this. Oh christ his ears. He's going to jack off with the hand in that apartment. RUN AWAY, LITTLE BOY. Hey Jotaro. Alright kiddo this is gonna sound weird but you've gotta find a guy with a pompadour. I'M UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS. Well now the steam's gonna destroy that tape. That towel is waaaay too short. Kira's ass is not an ass I want to see. Whelp, this kid is doomed. Thank god this boy has a weird obsession with taping everything. EAT SHIT, KIRA. Clover- Yami please make this show bearable for a few minutes. I wish these two hadn't been cured. Noelle continues to be the fucking worst. Always go for the dick-shaped food. Oh what the fuck. I wanted to watch Yami and the show filled my request like a fucking Monkey's Paw. Is he finally going to kill something? GODDAMMIT. Is this filler? Oh, are you actually gonna show Yami fighting after you went out of your way to ruin him for me? Wait who the hell is that? Even after all that bullshit earlier, he's still by far the best character. Would anybody really mind if we lost Jack the Ripper? Oh, it's the wizard king who never does anything. Show me his dick you cowards. I do like snowcones. One day I will die and I'll have to justify all the time I wasted watching this show. Hunter- I love that everyone hates Ging. He's really in third place now for decking him. Now someone punch this blond douche. Kinda rooting for Cowman here. Scratch that, rooting for Morel now. SCRATCH THAT, ROOTING FOR BISKY. Oh come on how did Ging make it to the top 16. I could watch Leorio punch the shit out of Ging all day. Is Canary even old enough to drive? Go away Illumi nobody likes you. Amane is cute. Killua is the best brother. Can we punch the rest of the family next? Kick his ass, Killua! TRUCK. This may be a little bit of overkill. This is some Final Destination shit. Hisoka is the worst. You know you've fucked up when even Hisoka is judging you. This is foreplay for them. Please kill Hisoka. You leave my kids alone you clown fuck. SHE'S SO CUTE. Ya done fucked up, girl. That old lady's got some moves. I'm with granny on that one, those two can fuck off. I love her, she can have my organs if she wants. Sodomy Clown vs Douche Butler, go!

You stand in that line and tell All Might I love him.

Read it was recap, forgot it was recap, fucked off when I remembered it was recap. Hero- Functional Adult Mode Aizawa can get it. I think this is the first time I've seen an anime explicitly offer their traumatized kids some therapy. Joke's on you, Bakugo's too fucking angry to work with anyone. Kill them all, Bakugo. I agree with Toga, let her stab him. Nobody likes you, Fuckhands. God his missing face freaks me out so much. Meanwhile, the kids are doing their best. Iida is cracking me up with that random tiny mustache. Heyyyy garbage dilf. HI ALL MIGHT. I love Best Jeanist. I would trust Granpa with my life. I don't like the odds for all these cops. Me, All Might can do me. Back off dudes she's 15. How do her boobs even fit down that alley. Kirishima came here to win. Ohhhhh fuck. OHHHHH FUCK. Pizza delivery. HELLOOOO BOYFRIEND. Thanks, Woodpool. I like Dabi getting his shit kicked by a man 80 years older than him. I love Twice. Also Endeavor is here to set everyone on fire. Hug him, All Might. Hey Mt Lady. Oh hey, they know about the monster shack too. This is going way too well. Someone just punch out Fuckhands already. Oh, that is a terrifying power. Goddammit Granpa you just jinxed this entire operation. And now for some tragic backstory. Never leave your kids with a guy who has his own dramatic opera music. OH FUCK. And now it all goes to hell. Bakugo is Bakugone...again. Alright just make garbage dilf set everything on fire. Best Jeanist is indeed the best. Oh good he found Ragdoll. Uhh you okay there Ragdoll? FUUUUUUUUCK. You turn that goddamn dramatic opera music off right the fuck now. Meanwhile, the kids shit themselves. Neverland- Speaking of kids freaking out. Maybe you'll get lucky and she doesn't sell children to monsters. The tracker is probabaly behind your ear where you can't see it. "What would be the most convenient place to put it in?" wow show, phrasing. Congrats on being the #1 child farmer. Aw fuck she knows. Are they gonna fuck? Oh, that's not normal. Lady I am getting real uncomfortable here. Great idea, loudly sing out your plans to screw over your boss. Time for murder, children. Ray is the real MVP here. Aww, look at the delicious baby. Alright, you gotta cut your ear off. Don't trust that glasses girl. Ohhhhh that cannot be a good thing. Permission to freak out now? These kids are way smarter than me. I'm constantly terrified that one of the adults is standing behind a tree. Jesus Ray doesn't pull punches here. TAG TIME, KIDDOS. Yes just a normal game of tag, nothing suspicious going on here at all. You are freaking me right the fuck out here. Goddammit kids. Okay so she can punch through trees, that's concerning. Don't trust this bitch. FUCK. Glasses girl might be doomed. GODDAMMIT GLASSES GIRL. Time to panic. Sword Art- I hate the word "fluctlight" more every time I hear it. It kinda takes all the drama out of this fight when it's a flashback and they both obviously survive. Blah blah blah I don't care, show. Shit it's a spider, gotta burn down the entire library. CHARLOTTE, YA GET IT? That is one fucking old spider. Who keeps giving the video game company money for this shit? Great, your creepy virtual daughter can have some new friends now. Oh what in the fuck, show. Welcome to the harem, magic cyber loli. I will never find someone named The Administrator threatening at all. Just take these magic non-painful knives. You heard the loli, penetrate your brainwashed friend. I do appreciate a good stabbin'. I literally do not care enough to remember a word of this. I feel like I age 20 years every time I watch this show. Jojo- GUN. Meanwhile, Rohan's a bastard. Uh what the fuck. And now he's being haunted by Vic McNuggets. I love that baby. I enjoy watching Rohan suffer. Thanks for the suggestion, random pervert. Paper guy is definitely jacking off to this. I dare you to insult his hair. Is that guy super short or is Josuke ridiculously tall. SHIT, KOICHI. This is the Doodlebob episode of Spongebob. Josuke is pissed. Help him, you handsome bastard. That's the fastest taxi I've ever seen. Oh man it is gonna be great seeing Jotaro punch his retinas out. This is my favorite stand because it's pissing off Rohan. Handsome bastard to the rescue! Koichi confired as best girl. He turned himself into paper, dude. To be fair, you are kind of an idiot. Shit's on fire, yo. Scorpions, yo. Keep your hand off your goddamn face. You dumbass. Thwarted by office machinery. Yeah but now you'll have to fight his harem and they will kill you. Now punch him to death. It was just a prank, bro! This is his version of game Darby's fight. Josuke that's kind of fucked up. That taxi driver must be confused as shit. Joke's on you, Rohan has no friends. Correction, Koichi is Rohan's only friend. PEPSI. Clover- Shut the fuck up. Pantsless Yami make this shit bearable. Just in case you forgot all these characters were terrible here's a quick reminder. Oh hey it's those two. I still wish Asta had gotten punched in the throat. "You brought your foot, right" is a really weird goddamn question. And of course, their hardships have been easily and instantly cured, negating any impact their sacrifces had in the first place. Oh good they still want to be fame whores. Oh christ, someone is going to have to sit this dumb fucker down and explain sex ed to him at some point. Soooo you're proposing a double date...where one of them is your brother...and you're trying to pair up the two people who aren't your blood relatives. Oh christ this is gonna be painful. I hate everything. I genuinely don't know how we're supposed to like Noelle. Nothing like going to a place called The Couple Factory with your brother. I hate this guy. You fucking idiots. And that's how they got kicked out of Haunted Mansion. In case you forgot that royals are dicks. I want to die. STAY AWAY FROM MOM, EMMA. Don't worry she's the reject that nobody likes, you're good. Didn't we already get this shit the other week with SAO? Please just kill me. Oh hey do I get ot see Yami fight? I don't know why Bondage Wear Hisoka is in this ED but it fills me with unwavering fear. Hunter- Hey Gon you okay there buddy? HI KNUCKLE. I'm glad Morel's alright. Oh hey it's Bisky and the mole girl. That can't be good. Oh fuck you butler guy. We're at threat level Blackwatch Plaid. Oh hey it's the nice butler girl. Is that Bisky's grandma. She's so cute. I love Canary. Ooh this one is cute. Aw crap. Just give her your finger. GAAAAAH DON'T SHOW ME THAT. Well, this could be going better. You sure are unhelpful as shit, dude. Oh hey Leorio long time no see. Please don't talk louder we get enough of that from Asta. Be nice, you douche. Leorio let him have the phone. It's a hospital you can't just evacuate the entire building! Joseph would be proud of that line prediction. Morel gets shit done. I wonder what happened to Palm. Kurapica is almost as shitty as Ging about being there for Gon. Someone please punch this guy already. Snake boobs! Fuck you and your excessively sparkly suit. Thank you Leorio. Ging is the fucking worst. He didn't say anything because your kid's in a fucking coma, you sack of wet laundry.Good, let the hate flow through you. LEORIO FOR CHAIRMAN. I enjoy that lliterally everyone hates Ging.

Hero- Don't beat yourself up it's only Bakugo. Kirishima's real quirk is being able to befriend Bakugo. Sounds legit, go for it. Iida is having an existential crisis. Rules are for chumps, do it. Kirishima the boy's arms are shattered what do you expect him to do. Jesus Deku calm your shit. Someone hug this boy. AWWWWW KOTA. "I'm sorry I punched you in the balls." His poor mom is gonna have a heart attack. Hey there garbage dilf. I love that Best Jeanist's motivational speech is just clothing puns. Hi, everybody! oh hey Momo. Iida is 16 going on 37 and is just here to watch his kids. Please hug Iida. That's all the encouragement we need for this field trip. Okay I'm kinda loving Bakugo continuing to shit on them. Okay so we've got two responsible ones and three idiots ready to fling themselves into battle, that's a good balance. Best ninja. Oh my god their disguises. I'm cracking up this is some prime acting. Oh dang Aizawa even shaved for this. I'm kinda into the whole "functional adult" look on him. I love Principal Mouse. Aw crap this can't be good. Yeah well Stain sucked and got arrested so who's the real loser here. Yeah take his cuffs off that's a great plan. SO ANGRY. Goddammit this little bastard's finally starting to grow on me. Neverland- WHELP, HERE WE GO. Great job acting natural there, kiddo. Important question, is hte plushie okay? Kids age like cheese, I guess. Thank god you're smart. Knowledge is the best spice. Oh jesus that was a joke, show! We're two episodes in, I'm sure this plan will go off without a hitch. Climb your way to freedom! No, be scared of Mom. Aw fuck they're GPS'd. Whelp you're all gonna die, kids. She knows and she's going to feed you to the monsters. This boy is way too confident he's absolutely doomed. Well now she knows who did it. Thank you, other boy whose name I already forgot. SHE KNOWS. This show's atmosphere is fantatic I am about to freak right the fuck out here. This plan is going too well already. Oh hey Ray please don't rat us out to the monsters. He's too smart for his own good. No shit this is bad. I mean, the young ones are probably safe for a couple years. Ohhh that is a depressing sentence. You are way too optimistic for someone who just watched a child get eaten. She's seen some shit. I keep expecting Mom to pop up any second now. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. Sword Art- And now this show horrifies me for totally different reasons. Kirito you stupid fuck. Uh dude birds aren't really known for their resistance to arrows. I do enjoy seeing Kirito suck and fail. I hate these kids. Wait what. Why does the sound effect for his whip hitting the ground sound exactly like a wet dildo? That's just a foot, aim for this lungs next time. Oh what the fuck he has magic hair now? Welcome to the harem, loli nerd. BOOKS. I'm sure this is a fascinating plot twist if you care at all about this show. Of course there's always one asshole. OH MY GOD I DON'T CARE. God, age is terrifying. Okay so this was like, two months ago in the real world. Never trust a naked crazy bitch. I hate the word "fluctlight" more every time I hear it. Okay but Administrator is the least threatening position of power I can imagine, I'd fear a middle school hall monitor more than that. Jojo- Not sure if this guy's dressed weird enough to be a stand user. Goddammit Rohan. Okay just don't look at his back. If you can't attack Rohan at least destroy his wardrobe. Well, that's weird. Meanwhile, they're still trapped in a cell tower. You're a good dude, Legolas. This dub is a gift. Insult his hair and see what happens. Ewwwww. KNIFFE. Aw crap. Maybe don't rely on Okuyasu's brain power. Owwwww. Oh, he looks weird. Well, that worked out well for him. Aw crap we gotta save Koichi now. Man, that old guy sure likes to talk a lot. Thank god Rohan is rich as fuck. Yeah, definitely a stand user. Meanwhile, this fucker. Tower guy sure calmed the fuck down in a hurry. Ask Joseph to punch a camera for Koichi. Oh hey, harem dude. You handsome bastard. I love the hoes. Okay what the fuck is up with his back. Rohan you have powers just use them. Aw crap what'd he do to Koichi. MILF ALERT. What just happened there. Oh that's creepy. He's definitely getting off on this. Don't be a douche, Yuya. I'm just gonna assume that the terrifying thing on that paper is a picture of Joseph naked. Clover- Mimosa you could do so much better. That's just weird, dude. Yeah there's no way I'm wasting time on this bullshit I'll be back for Hunter. Hunter- Oh fuck it's Hisoka. Goddammit fat boy. Just eat the mushroom maybe it's not poisonous. Oh, this is horrifying. WHELP. They may be terrible people but the Zoldycs theme fucking slaps. Awwww she's so happy to see him. Oh hey, her headband is the creepy faces. Oh crap don't kill my kid. When even Hisoka is judging you, you know you fucked up. She's adorable when she's not in demon mode. Illumi what the fuck. Meanwhile I'm still gonna punch this guy. I mean, at least one of them is in the hospital so it's not his fault. Shut up you douche. Where the fuck is Ging. I'm not sure if this is heartwarming or terrifying. Hey there hot dad. Beat the fat one's ass. Oh you sexy bastard the needle thing was your idea? Shit it's a trap. OH SHIT. 'Kay. That face is only slightly less horrifying once you get used to it. What is wrong with this family. The biggest surprise here is that he cares that much about his wife. Awww, she's happy.

Okay it's kinda double hilarious because Funi is a non-union company operating out of an employer-at-will state that gives them significant power to fire someone for most reasons. I'm pretty sure even the strongest employee contract won't protect you in the case of a huge public backlash after years of documented shitty behavior. I wonder if this all going to court will put a damper on the idiots whining that "If what he did was so bad why hasn't there been any legal action yet? Shouldn't he get a trail before you terrible SJWs ruin his life?" I mean, probably not but it's a nice dream.

How it feels to wander onto a page with autoplay

Cap'n Crunch or generic, store brand Lucky Charms. They always have more marshmallows than the real one.

My body is ready.

Hero- Y'all can take Bakugo but leave our bird friend out of this. Let Kirishima fight he's the only one who ikes Bakugo. THAT'S NOT AIZAWA. Dang Vlad how you doing. Oh cool he's Deadman Wonderland. You leave my boyfriend out of this. Aizawa is angry. This kid is having a rough day. Back off, crazy girl. I kinda love Twice. EAT SHIT, MAGICIAN. Aw fuck it's the chainsaws. Aw fuck it's Hexxus. GODDAMMIT KIDS. Seriously give our bird back. Sparkle boy saves the day! Well that worked out okay I guess. Nevermind, this is depressing. Now please, somebody get this boy to a hospital. Wow, Jiro's DEAD shirt is not a good omen. Aw crap they took Ragdoll. Piss off, news crew. Principal Mouse needs a vacation. Let me hug you, All Might. Please don't go Sasuke on us. Aw crap it's a traitor. A PHONECALL IS HERE. Hi catcop. Man who would have guessed that the guy who looks like a Frankenstein muppet would be easy to spot. HI BIG MIGHT. Y'all are some douchebags. You'd think locking up his hands would just make them sweat more. Awww his mom. We brought you a melon. Yeah we know he's gone we just saw that. Calm down it was only Bakugo. Rescue mission, go! Hiiii All Might. Oh hey she put a tracker on him. Class dad Iida is disappointed in his kids. Hardboy just wants his douchebag back. Neverland- Surely nothing bad will happen to these adorable children. Kids, you're small enough to just fit through the bars. Oh god it's like a Precious Moments clearance rack they're all doomed. I don't trust this lady. Nothing says your orphanage is legit like tatooing numbers on the kids. Oh this girl with the bunny is absolutely going to die horrifically. Run, girl! It's a trap. I bet nothing in this conversation will come into play later, no sir. Y'all might wanna stay away from that fence. These random closeups are weird. Nothing but good things will happen, definitely. My anxiety is off the charts here. She is definitely on her way to the glue factory. OH NO THE BUNNY. Surely this will turn out well. Kids, it's time you learned the truth about the Philosopher's Stone. Oh god what's in the truck. WHELP. Save the bunny. WHAT THE FUCK. What a surprise, she's evil. No, she is pretty fucking far from okay. It went pretty bad, kiddo. I hope that bitch at least gets paid well for this shit. OH FUCK. Sexual Assault Online- Cut his hand off anyway, he deserves it for being stupid. Again, how is cutting off an arm a crime but OUTRIGHT RAPE is not? Well hey at least she got a pet dragon out of that horrifying experience. Oh look, the traumatized girls are here. Why are you even taking the swords if you're just gonna kill them? Oh great, now we have Yugioh's backstory but with a moeblob. How do you expect him to eat with his arms chained up. Meanwhile, this shit. Sure let her go in the video game who gives a fuck. Hello robot. Nice to see that this lady is fully on-board with everything now. Robot doesn't talk and is the best character. PUT THE FLUCTLIGHTS IN THE ROBOT. Try not to shove a rapist fluctlight in the robot, please. So can they see what's going on in the game? Did they have to sit there and watch that extended near-rape scene last week? Can you just execute them now. Who designed this dungeon how did they fuck up magic chains so bad. Of course that plan worked. LOOK, FLOWERS. We're painting the roses red, we're painting the roses red. I retained absolutely nothing of this conversation. It's a trap! I can respect a career that lets you drink wine on the job. You're unarmed, you stupid douche. Jojo- Hiiii Jotaro. I love that baby. I hate Rohan. Aw crap he found him. The binoculars are a stand! Close enough, it's Legolas. Alien Legolas might be the most bizarre thing in this entire part. THE TOWER IS A STAND. Stop hogging the alien, Josuke. Just a dude living in a radio tower, nothing weird about this. He's definitely a stand user, no one else dresses like that. Oh hey, he's kinda cute. Meanwhile, more weird shit with Koichi. Gross, dude. Okay but what do you do when it rains? Meanwhile meanwhile, Rohan finds a clue. Rohan's entire wardrobe makes me physically angry. Well this dude's weird looking. Hiiii Tomoko. Oh crap leave the milf alone. Not this fucking guy. GODDAMMIT JOSUKE. And there he goes. Remember when stands just set things on fire or attacked you with tentacles? And then Josuke was a Terminator. You asshole. Legolas. Alright no bombs, good to know. Okuyasu don't be mean. I love these idiots. You know goddamn well they haven't heard of that. Well, that didn't work. OH NO OKUYASU. Could you put like, a squirrel or something in your place? He was the rope. I love this wingnut. Now fix Okuyasu. That sounds wrong but I don't know enough about callouses to refute it. LEGOLAS NO. You asshole. That dude is definitely a stand user. Aw crap did someone get Koichi. This is just going tits-up for everyone. Clover- I think this is a new OP but i haven't payed enought attention to realy tell. She may be a terrible person but man does that bitch have a great rack. Really, after all that you're just giving up? This seems anticlimactic. You stupid bitch did you really heal THAT guy. How did this show manage to make gratuitous male nudy a tiresome gag? God I hate you. Oh hey, it's the bird. Obviousy they're trying to collect the Infinity Stones. Humans ruin everything. Asta continues to be fucking stupid. Why is this guy still alive? Oh they fuckin. LEAVE THAT NUN THE FUCK ALONE, YOU CREEP. Lady I've kinda lost all respect for you now. Hey there Captain Sexy. Good news, we got a cat. Oh thank god he brought back beer. Shut up you whiny dipshit. Why are you rhyming. Oh great, it's everyone else I hate. The nosebleed means he's got a boner for his child sister. Yami just take your shirt off and make me hate this a litte less. STOP SCREAMING. Yami you have got to get more fiber in your diet. Hunter- I'm gonna fight Ging. I'm also gonna fight this douche. If he wins I call a riot. I like this dog girl. He activates my fight or flight response. Can I vote for that panda? Where the fuck is Ging now? Goddammit old man this is your fault. Hey kiddo whatcha up to? Give my kids a hug. HI KILLUA'S HOT DAD. Don't be a dick that's your kid. Calm down puppy. Oh, that's creepy. Oh that's just rude don't keep her in the basement like that. There's such a thing as overkill, sir. Goddammit fat boy. You're a good brother, Killua. Oh my god she's so cute. WHAT THE FUCK. Awww tiny Killua. Oh that's not a good thing. WHAT THE FUCK??? Make it rain, Alluka. Illumi looks wrong with short hair. CHILD WHAT THE FUCK. Okay now I can see why they keep her locked in the basement. Jesus christ what the fuck.

I can already hear Foley screaming about how little sense this makes.

I mean, Disney ain't gonna give me Devilman Crybaby's concerningly huge penis. Netflix always has that going for it.

Nope, don't agree. This version was enough to get the point across, the edited one was still pretty rough and the uncut version is just disgusting. There'd be nothing gained from showing it except an immediate drop in ratings while everyone turns off the show to go take a shower. Hero- Uh buddy where's your hand? TOO MUCH REVELRY IN THE DARK. Oh thank god he can regrow that. Awwww bird friend. Somebody get a flashlight. Bird stand too OP, plz nerf. I choose the option that's not Bakugo. Go away, Hellraiser. Okay that teeth quirk just freaks me right the fuck out. Less talking, more splodey. Thank you, bird stand. Uh I think Tokoyami just killed a guy. Awwwww my kids. Confused Bakugo there is a mood. Just let him go off alone, whatever happens happens. Oh no my girls. Yes they're cute please don't stab them. OH YOU'RE CREEPY. Awwww Tsu. Owwww her tongue. That internship is just paying off in spades for her. No fuck you, we're not bonding over this. I'm uncomfortable. MY LEG. Oh hell no you stay away from him. Bakugo is Bakugone. Give our douchebag back. GIMME BACK MY BIRD YOU DICK. Icy Hot how the fuck did you miss. I kinda love this Deadpool guy. Yeah there's nothing more inconspicuous than a wall of flames. Oh hey sparkle boy. Aw crap another monster. OH FUCK IT'S CHAINSAWS. Oh no Momo. You're a good dude, kid whose name I don't know. Whatcha doing there sweetie? I love Tiger. Straddle me next, Mandalay. Goddammit Hexxus. This sure is a plan alright. I like that Uraraka can float things but is just dragging this unconscious fucker along on the ground. Hey there Deku. Sword Art- Oh christ here we go. All you have is your years of lumberjack experience. I'm already uncomfortable here. Rape, that's what their egos are capable of. You sound like a fucking tool. This conversation is cringey. Oh I'm sure they'll find a way around the rules. Well you were like six at the time, nobody's expecting genius plans from you. Enjoy being happy while you can, girls. Oh jesus here we fucking go. So I guess sexual assault is just accepted here in Sword Fight School. You gotta cut his dick off. My skin is crawling already. Oh my god why are you explicitly telling them she talked he's just gonna do more fucked up shit to her. Why are they bringing this to the rapists and not going to an actual authority figure? Oh, this is gross. NO SHIT YOU SHOULD BRING IT TO THE INSTRUCTORS. It's because Kirito is plenty used to girls around him getting sexually assaulted. In this game it's against the rules to swing a sword on your day off but there's nothing in the handbook about raping your underclassmen. Oh no, he's absolutely gonna hurt her worse now. Girl you can do better. Well, it is a nice change of pace to see a girl throw herself at a dude who's not Kirito. I'd like to get off this ride now. Use the fucking door you dipshit. Oh this is not a good start. Seriously how is this not against your shitty taboo index. I wish this was at the end of the block so I could be heavily drunk. Don't drink it it's roofies. I genuinely feel sick. I WANNA GET OFF THIS RIDE NOW PLEASE. I'm glad they cut a bunch of this. Finally a decent goddamn scene in this show. Hey Kirito nice of you to fucking join us. You're the last one who gets to talk about violating things, douche. Cut his dick off. Forget his arms, cut his dick off. No just let him bleed out. That...sure was a thing that happened. You're right, you're a goddamn idiot and this is your fault. Uhh, what. Y'all might wanna get the traumatized girls out of here now. Well you're not a rapist so you're infinitely better than these guys. Thanks, random lady with magic beans. GEE I WONDER WHO IT IS. So if you break the fundamental rules of society you get to be a super knight, how the hell does that work. Jojo- And now for something more palatable, the hand-fucking serial killer. Kira if you don't go for this milf I will. HI KITTY! God I love that milf. Lady what the fuck. And now we add this cat to the list of stand users stronger than Jotaro's mom. Poor kitty. Console that milf. The hell is this, Pet Semetary? Oh my god it's a cat plant. I love catplant. Owww. Oh my god it's adorable. Stop fucking with it it's gonna bite you. Eat shit, Kira. Oh fuck don't hurt the milf. Surprisingly decent of you, hand fucker. Cat vs cat. I love this thing. We all have a weakness for milfs. Catplant for MVP. Cat love ball. Damn she is at "me seeing All Might" levels of thirst here. Kid is suspicious. KISS THAT MILF. Hey kiddo it's also not normal to have cameras set up all over your parents' bedroom. Oh, you're going to die. Aww that's nice he didn't kill catplant. Looks like this kid doesn't skip leg day. Sleepy catplant. Clover- How goddamn sad is it when this isn't the worst show of the night? Kill Noelle first. Wow what a shock he willpowered himself out of it. That was the exact same deal you were going to double cross her on before, why would she believe you? I feel nothing, show. I'm also here for cake. So at what point does she become a screeching alcoholic? RIP cake shop. Hey there, Captain Sexy. Once again, Yami is the only saving grace of this shitshow. I'm sure this would be a very moving backstory if I gave even a fraction of a shit about these characters. Oh no Luna you don't belong here, go back to Sailor Moon. Tonight is Cat Night, apparently. Don't tease me like that, show. And then Groundhog Day. Yeah the ability to literaly alter fate isn't OP as fuck or anything. Hunter- Fuck you, Ging. Oh hey, new animation. Oh hey, Leorio's back. OH FUCK, HISOKA'S BACK. Me too, loud cryig man. Hellooooo snake boobs. This guy looks like a douche. I like the bunny girl. I can't stop looking at that lady's tits. Nomination denied, douchewad. I like you, cow man. I like that everyone hates Ging. I love Sour Bill here. GODDAMMIT. Oh this sounds like a pain in the ass. Ging I'm gonna punch you in the kidneys. Go see your kid you goddamn deadbeat. Oh my god you douche. I'm disappointed in you, Sour Bill. The man won't even pay attention to his own son why would you want him running the whole operation? I vote for Bisky. Oh hey it's everyone we know. YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, CLOWN MAN. I will forgive Hisoka for everything if he kicks Ging's ass. Okay I'll bite, what's with the points. Get out of here, Illumi! I'm surprised Hisoka never showed up during the ant arc. Clown man makes me so uncomfortable. DID YOU SAY YOUR HOT DAD? Wait that's a boy?

I want one.

Genuine question, why? Do you actually believe he's innocent, and dozens of people are lying about him for absolutely no reason beyond shits 'n giggles? Including other voice actors and industry professionals, who would be risking their entire careers for no discernible benefit if they were making up false claims about behavior they've witnessed and complaints they've made in the past?

Alright I'm on board with the kaijus but what does this have to do with Hellraiser and Totodoroki?

Hero- I love my son. I bet Hexxus here makes a mean cocktail. Yeah of course they're gonna be scared, they're literally children being attacked. Uh hey Deku you okay there. Alright kid it's time to embrace your inner Blastoise. Don't worry he's still got his legs. Okay that attack was not my fault. Pin me down next, I mean what. And then he turned into jello. "You got your ass handed to you by a magic scarf." I like this crazy guy. Aizawa wondering how the fuck he broke his arms again. Tell Mandalay I love her. Thanks Deku! Awww look at him carrying the kid. Aizawa confirmed for best dad. You heard the man, start breaking their limbs instead. Oh boy, Deku's about to pass out. Awwww kid. Yeah you absolutely need to apologize for that punch to the scrotum. Goddammit Deku tell her his actual name. Don't touch my son. Surprising assist from the ninja turtle. Well that was a convenient distraction. Yeah I'm sure Bakugo's gonna avoid combat. This guy is creeping me right the fuck out. Okay the teeth thing is terrifying. Go for it, Hardboy Boogaloo. Well thank god somebody here is smart. GUN. Aw shit there goes his mask. Oh fuck he's bleeding. Whelp, you're fucked. Well, he's trying his best. Shit he's cracking. HANDS. Surprisingly good move from the yaoi hands. Ya did good, kids. Ohhh Deku that is really not looking healthy for your body. Oh hey-SHIT HIS HAND. Aw shit, Bird Stand on the loose. REVELRY IN THE DARK. SAO- I'm a good person I don't deserve this. It may have been two years but it feels like I've been watching this season for a decade already. It's been two years and yet they don't look at all different. Welcome to the harem. Does Kirito not remember that he has an actual girlfriend? Is her name Swordalina how lazy were you on making names that day. Oh, so you can just win by IMAGINATION that's a great goddamn game mechanic. Note: at this point I gave up and spent most of this hour giving myself a manicure. So these two dudes are the eventual rapists, right? Okay this bit is the first thing that actually sounds like a legit game quest. Of course he's gonna be better than the top student in the entire school. Please stab him. Oh no he's got so much IMAGINATION. And then Kirito wins via harem flashbacks. Blah blah blah I don't care show. Soooooo these guys are definitely the inevitable rapists right. Oh no your flowers. Hey Kirito remember your actual girlfriend? THE PRAYERS OF THE FLOWERS. And now he can bring bac the dead I guess. Aaaaand here's the inevitable victims, I'm sure. Use the door, you pompous ass. I'm sure that window line isn't going to come into play later. Well that was an hour of unlikable TV but on the bright side my nails look pretty good so it wasn't a total waste. Jojo- You can go ahead and let Rohan die. "Foot fetish dick," this dub is a gift. NO DON'T STOP FOR PHONE. Stands don't know math, Josuke. Dammit baby! Shiny D is such a great stand. Sorry about your money, random dude. Josuke you could just fix the phone. Oh no you ruined that guy's life. Dog. Don't drink and drive, kids. Oh right, motorcyles aren't great in the ocean. Goddammit Josuke. So this poor guy slammed into a brick wall and then got shot with a damn arrow while he was bleeding out, that's just mean. Well that's one creepy stand. Aw crap you're out of gas. What. I don't think cars are stand-proof, Josuke. This nurse is not gonna help you. LET'S KILL DA HOE. I love Act 3. Douche Koichi is so much fun. Oh hey Josuke. I love Koichi so much. Aw crap that's a lot of feet. Dude's got a legit harem. Oh, he's pretty cute. Joke's on you, he could just fix you if you asked. Jojo piss fetish strikes again. That's nasty. It's probably the one whose period you pointed out. Hey there, Josuke. I kinda love this harem. I don't know how fast that is in American but I'm guessing pretty fast. Kick his ass anyway. He's healed, NOW kick his ass. I'd also like to be nursed back to health by adoring fangirls. You should have just let Rohan die. And also Jotaro's here. Meanwhile, milf. Hi kitty! Clover- Man, Jojo's really in the middle of a shit sandwich tonight ain't it. No, I'm not lucky enough for you to be dead. This sure isn't ripping off the Naruto fox demon thing at all. Nah, your magic is never shutting up. "Something isn't right here" gee buddy you think? I'm sure this fight would be much more impressive if I gave even a micro-shit about either of these characters. Well, this is less terrible to watch than Sword Art. Sir that awful feeling is just a natural reaction to witnessing Black Clover. Yelling "No no no no no NO!" is also a natural reaction to Black Clover. At least if you die you don't have to be in this show anymore. Son of a bitch he can still speak. I'd rather just die here. Meanwhile, those two are definitely gonna fuck. Thanks, ominous flock of crows. Kill them all, you fantastically dressed bitch. I do enjoy seeing Asta suffer. Can you control him into not speaking again? I'm okay with this as long as he doesn't talk. Hunter- Well hey at least you got a nature reserve out of this whole situation. I am delighted that the gun lobster survived. So wolf dude is just old forever now I guess. I have no idea who that girl is. How did this creepy fucker survive. Don't die until you're dead. Should you be shotgunning beers at your age? Awww this ant girl is precious. That reaction is not unexpected. Careful, she's got a rake. Oh shit it's those kids' mom. I'm not crying you're crying. AWWWW EVERYONE'S NICE TO THEM. I didn't even know lobsters could cry but here we are. Hey Morel. You're magic, don't question it. Aww she's adorable. WHAT. Hey Gon you okay there buddy. I am genuinely surprised that Knuckle survived this entire arc. Thank god you're rich. Someone please hug Killua. Please just help my son. Uh hey kiddo where are you going? HELLO BUNNY GIRL. Oh fuck it's Gon's shit dad.

I can excuse the punch to the scrotum because he's a traumatized little kid. Also, it was really friggin funny. Maybe that helmet actually fried his brain back in season 1 and the joke's on all of us for expecting any kind of logic. Mostly I'm just disappointed in her for not killing any of them.

I assume you can get a McNuggets appearance for bargain-basement prices now that other cons have cancelled him. Like, if you want a really creepy clown for your next Halloween party you can probably get a good deal on him.

While I'm sure there are plenty of nutjob fangirls and terrible people happy to see McNuggets, I can't imagine a con can do well with only one guest, especially after his reputation is so stained. The fact that they announced him only three weeks before the con seems really gross to me; it comes off like they were intentionally hiding it as long as possible until it was too late for fans to cancel their plans without losing a ton of money. Add in that their website says tickets are nonrefundable, and they're putting fans in a really uncomfortable situation. I've never heard of this con before, but I'd feel pretty disgusted to find out that my money went towards paying to bring a sexual predator straight back to his preferred environment. Sidenote, what kind of absolute dipshits are organizing this con? I know Vic was probably cheap to get, but they'd already signed on several of his former coworkers that have been very outspoken against him. Who looked at that lineup and said "Hey, let's throw in the guy that pretty much all our other guests are explicitly uncomfortable being around and who's been fired from the very franchise we're celebrating?"

HE APOLOGIZED TO HIS MOM AND ALL MIGHT. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

That is gonna be one awkward convention. I wonder how long it takes him to forget the entire shitshow that just happened and start putting his mouth on underage girls.

Hero- Time for some REVELRY IN THE DARK. Oh fuck that kid is doomed. Don't threaten me with a good time, Aizawa. Haaaaa Douche Rogue failed. Please don't get your ass kicked again, Aizawa. That is a Ninja Turtle. I love Tiger. Oh hey Yaoi Hands and Hard Boy #2. Thanks Momo. Ohhhhhh we're gonna have a bad time here. Just give him the hat. Aw fuck it's a titan. OH FUCK HE KILLED HIS PARENTS. Oh thank god Deku's here. MY PHONE. Oh that was real stupid of you. Okay his comforting smile is slightly terrifying. Maybe don't let the fire boys use their quirks around the gas. Oh jesus what the fuck. Aw crap it's a Hellraiser. Flirt with me, Mandalay. Aw fuck where's Ragdoll. Run away little boy. You can just take Bakugo. Now would be a great time for All Might to show up. Oh, that's disgusting. Someone hug this little boy. Ewwww your arm's in his muscle. His shirt just exploded. Aw shit you broke your limbs again. FUCK HE'S STILL GOING. I hope this new plan is running the fuck away. Oh this is gonna hurt. Damn he's really going all in on that Monty Python's Black Knight strategy. RUN AWAY, KID. I'm gonna cry. Thanks for the refreshing splash of water. THAT IS TOO MUCH PERCENT. Oh shit a double location smash the absolute madman. Did...did he win? Shut up I'm not crying. SAO- Well it's nice that I can just tune the fuck out of the first chunk of this. The human brain contains 100 billion cells and I am rapidly losing them by the minute here. "We've already copied a human soul" is totally something you say when you're not evil as fuck. YEAH WE JUST COPIED THE SOULS OUT OF BABIES NOTHING CREEPY AND WEIRD ABOUT THAT. And then I assume you fucked them. Big deal you know how to play The Sims. Religion does ruin all the fun. I feel like there are easier ways to make killbots than this elaborate video game baby stealing plot. Nah, Kirito probably still would have agreed as soon as he heard there was a giant sword. Sorry but the day we have to contemplate the human rights of pornbots is the day the internet dies. So they needed Kirito entirely because this dumb bastard keeps getting stuck in video games. Harem conference. Well an AI going out of its way to save a life sounds like the exact opposite of what this project wants. That is a dumb name. Every time I hear the word "fluctlight" I lose a day off my lifespan. That's creepy. Is that the gross nurse who wanted to fuck him? Random titties will not help this story. Are you really gonna sit here and act like the mass murderer was actually a really nice guy deep down? No, you absolutely should hate him. He murdered THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE. "I know he destroyed thousands of lives but I got laid so it's all good." Are we supposed to like Asuna after this? Boxing- At least Nanbu's taken to this whole blind thing pretty well. I'll dance with Joe. It really is funny that the match for Best Robot Arm Boxer is being fought by two dudes without robot arms. Yuri is doing surprisingly well for a dude who just had major surgery. Steely Dan and doggo are friends now. Oh hey it's that guy. I know nothing about boxing, are dick punches allowed? Ouch. Well, this could be going better. Oh hey, he finally got a hit in. If your soldiers need to punch the shit out of enemies, this is right up your alley. Thanks, helpful urchin. Who wins if they just punch each other to death? Is it raining in the building what kind of shitty construction is this place? Can you actually cry without eyes this is a question I've literally never had to ask myself before. Goddammit Joe. Aw shit somebody's got Dio's stand here. Aww she's not such a heartless bitch after all. YAY HE WON. Aww the urchin and the dog are friends. Oh, he didn't die. I'm glad things turned out well for this kid. Stop wrecking your bike! Believe in me that believes in you. Another scorcher. What is with this demented clown music. Awww look at the kids with their baby gear. That was an unexpectedly happy ending. Jojo- I love watching Rohan suffer. Aliens aren't known for their understanding of subtle nuiances. His laughter creeps me out. ROHAN WHAT THE FUCK. You literally kidnapped a boy, you don't get to judge anyone. Oh it's this douche. Rohan when did you even call him? Bold of you to assume anyone would feel guilty about swindling Rohan. Oh crap the dice is sick. AW CRAP IT'S A SIREN. Where the fuck is this emergency. What the fuck. I enjoy his house burning down. Joseph would be proud of that con. You did good, Legolas. I love that milf. Uh kid that's real creepy. I'm even more confused about him than before. Mikitaka is definitely the most bizarre part of this show. Aw crap it's Rohan. Okay bigger question, why was your house decorated as the set of Pretty Woman? Aw fuck is it Kira again. THE ROOM IS A STAND. I absolutely have no faith in you, Rohan. Nothing suspicious about this. Oh, that's creepy. Run, you dumbass. THE ROOM IS A STAND. Damn that thing's got some speed on it. And then he got hit by a bus. I'm happy about this turn of events. Don't worry at this rate you'll never have to see his smug face again. Josuke just trun around and let this happen. Just chilling on the floor in this phantom tunnel room, nothing weird about that. Surprisingly decent of you, manga man. GODDAMMIT JOSUKE. Good luck finding that user. Clover- God, I hate all of you. I'm sure this flashback is tragic for anyone who gives a half a fuck. So then did she forget all that angry fire shit that just happened? Just fuck already. I still don't understand how we're supposed to like Noelle. Oh, that guy's still alive. "I'll kill you" is definitely how I feel about 90% of these characters. If you kill off everyone you automatically become my favorite character. Being loud and obnoxious are not traits we need both of these characters to have. Blah blah blah you're a lone wolf and don't need anyone I don't care. YEET, MOTHERFUCKER. I miss you, Captain Sexy. Somebody just die already. If you can't outsmart Asta you don't deserve to live. You dumb bastards. This show continues to not know when to end an arc. I do appreciate Asta getting hurt. Queen Bitch is disappointed. Oh, that's not normal. Maybe I'll be lucky enough that this will kill him. Hunter- You know shit gets real when the episode has no OP. Aw crap he's gonna find them. Hooray, you won? That's surprisingly decent of him. Who would have guessed that losing at checkers 1000 times would make him into a better person. Wait why is he dying? Thanks for the compliment I guess. Someone give Palm a hug. Let's all point and laugh at Pouf's corpse. His smile freaks me out. Well this is interesting. Oh hey Morel's alive. How dare you insult Palm like that. Don't be a dick, Sour Bill. Is that disc full of porn. Awwww. "Resignation" is a funny way to say "blew himself the fuck up with a nuke." And now, poetry. This is almost heartwarming. I don't know enough about Korean checkers to have any idea what's going on. Awwwwwwwww. You selfish bastard you didn't have to guilt trip her into staying and dying of radiatin poisoning. Oh this is depressing.