EmpressAngel

Punching Ging is literally always the right call. Hero- I forgot that the first show of the night gets its full OP. I love that this is a rare show with rational, caring adults. Awwwww she reminds him of Nana. Wow rude. I love all my kids. Thank god they have Cementoss to build shit for them. I love you, principal mouse. Aw fuck who's the traitor. Yeah well the press can fuck right off. Oh right, actions have consequences. Punish them and then me, Aizawa. I love derpmode Kaminari. Awww, look at this little bastard. For everyone's sake I hope there are no girls on Mineta's floor. This is nicer than any place I've ever lived. Oh my god you fanboy. Bird friend's room sure is...dark. SPARKLE ROOM. Oh god don't go in the sex goblin's room. Entire wall of glasses. THERE'S A BUNNY. Don't let that little creep in the girls' rooms. Meanwhile, a sleepy rowdy boy. MANLY ROOOM. Jesus christ Hagakure is brutal. Okay Sero's room is cool. Oh my god did Todoroki replace the entire floor? Oh man I love the baking room. Awww they love his food. That's a lot of instruments. Oh my god Mineta is the fucking worst. Where is my frog daughter. Now THAT'S a bed. I also vote for the cake. Thanks, dad Iida. Oh no frog daughter is sad. PLEASE HUG THAT FROG. Shut up I'm not crying you're crying. AWWWWWWWWWWWW. Titan- OH SHIT IS THE GOOD OP BACK? Levi, looking like he hates every minute of his life. Y'all should probably stab that thing in the neck just to be safe. At least Hange's having fun. Oh wonderful, Eren's still in whiny bitch mode. I'm gonna laugh super hard if they get all the way to Eren's house and realize they forgot that goddamn key. Those are some really well trained horses. Hello children it's PTSD time. Aw crap they're here. This is going way too well. Here, have this hideous crystal Eren statue. Didn't Deku already beat the shit out of one of them a couple weeks ago? I'm gonna go ahead and retract my statement about this going well. Armin is in charge now. Surely all these redshirts aren't about to get slaughtered. They're in the wall, dude. This will totally end well. Oh, you're about to die. Well I for one am SHOCKED. I love Levi hating and killing things. Alright folks get your Delaware Detroit Smash ready. Wow, y'all are just beyond fucked now. Save the horses at all cost. I woul follow J Michael Tatum into hell after a rousing speech. Neverland- Anxiety intensifies. Oh shit she was an orphan. Oh damn. Shit continues to be fucked up. Tentative thanks, lady. No shit we don't trust you. Surely this will end well. Just act like you're dumb as hell, got it. I got a bad feeling about that box. Here, in case you forgot that she's crazy as fuck. Break that thing. That baby doll is creeping me right the fuck out. She's 18 at heart! Ask her where all the orphans come from. Oh, time to piss myself and cry. You might still have to find a way to kill her. Ray got a camera so at least someone's having a good day. That clock must get annoying as shit when you're trying to sleep. Yes surely this plan will go well. Yeah but is it worth sacrificing that sweet polaroid? Please be too crazy to figure out what they're planning. I am frightened. I don't trust Phil. I hope that note just tells her to eat shit. I'm uncomfortable. Grandma???? Hello, knife. Whelp, so much for the nutcase. Sword Art- Just drop her. Nobody likes you, Kirito. I agree, death is more tolerable than Kirito. Oh christ it's a flashback. I'd like to get off this ride now. I don't think I'm lucky enough to have them both fall to their death. Just drop him. Yes that nonsensical string of words you just said made perfect sense. Pontifex says fuck you, birds. Now with intense climbing action. How can you not do basic spells you dumbass. Oh my god, you're completely useless. Couldn't you just fall down to the 30th floor and have her dragon catch you there? Meanwhile, Asuna does jack shit. And back to this riveting climbing action. You stole this from Gargoyles you hacks. What the hell is the point of putting those gargoyles there? YEET. I'll give you that one, Minions are in fact terrible. That sure was a fight that happened. Welcome to the harem, Alice. Meanwhile, Eugeo is no goddamn help at all. And then nudity. Jojo- Great job Hayato ya fucked it up. Oh, you fantastic bastard. Oh hey there Josuke. Hi Okuyasu. That was actually a pretty brilliant move on Hayato's part. Aw shit now it's a bomb. Booooooooo Rohan's not blowing up. At least the others aren't exploding. He just wanted a quiet life of murdering women for their hands and blowing people the fuck up. You might wanna run, little boy. Dora. Stand fights really must look fucking ridiculous if you can't see them. Okuyasu helped! OKUYASU NOOOO. Why can't we have nice things. Aw fuck, cat plant's on his side. AW SHIT, YOU'RE FUCKED. Jotaro how do you think that's the rain. Dodge that shit, Josuke! Please save Okuyasu. Oh fuck it's not popping. Josuke might be dead. Goddammit Josuke. Oh, that's actually a great idea. Okuyasu may be dead. OH FUCK. Please save Okuyasu. YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE. Oh christ Oku that's a big gaping hole in your torso. Hayato moves fast for a kid with balls of solid adamantium. Do it for the milf, boys. Aw shit it's more bomb. OH FUCK IS OKUYASU DEAD. Please don't be dead. How do the rest of the gang not notice any of this happening. Well that's a new power. SHIT now you got two bombs coming at you. Josuke's gonna need a hospital after this. They're boyfriends. I want to state for the record that none of this is my fault. Clover- Yes, the lady who looks like Armless Frank is his sister you dumb shit. I can respect all that anger. Random capybara sighting! I don't think you can just shanghai kids from other squads. Shut up Tinkerbell. Hey there Captain Sexy. Hey, free drink. This bartender is allowed to live. Yami drunk as fuuuuck. Just in case you forgot that everyone else is goddamn terrible. Yami continues to be the single bright spot in this entire hprriffic shitshow. How dare you masquerade as a bartender and take their sacred duty as a joke. Christ that was only half the episode. WE GET IT, SHE'S A LESBIAN. Yeah, volcanoes will fucking do that to you. Yami giving zero shits. Hahahaha, eat shit Asta you're never gonna do that. Fuck off, Tink. Noelle continues to be terrible. Of course her mom looked exactly like her, because why bother with character design. I do enjoy watching Asta suffer. Hunter- Fuck you, Ging. Hey dog lady remember that punching Ging in the face is a great way to earn votes. Pariston can also fuck right the hell off. We all loved that pervy old man. I refuse to believe that Ging has any friends. Punching Ging in the face is always the best choice. Y'all are never leaving. HI KNUCKLE. Oh hey it's Palm and the ant boys. Hi other people we know! Alluka continues to be adorable. Gon's not looking so good. Being stuck in one location with responsibilities he can't blow off must be absolute hell for Ging. You're a good dude, cow man. Oh my god, Leorio's really in second place. That's the sheer power of sucker punching the most hated person in the room. I love that bunny girl. Use this chance to shit on Ging some more. At least he's honest. Awww, what a good dude. Tell me more about the wanking off. Literally everyone in this room is a better father to Gon than Ging, and that includes the ones who have never met him. I'm not forgetting the wanking part. Eat shit, Pariston. Oh shut the fuck up. Somebody sucker punch him next, please. Thank god these two can read each other's minds. We are all united in our hatred for this rat fucker.

Important: Look at this Bakugo duck.

Bold of you to assume Toonami fans have friends.

I feel like playing a rerun at the beginning of the block several months would probably hurt the ratings more. Season 4 doesn't air until October, and it probably won't hit Toonami until November just so they have a solid buffer against those inevitable skipped weeks in the Japanese broadcast. That's a three month gap that they have to do something with, and bumping the other premiers up half an hour seems like an obvious choice.

He's just too tired to get into a shouting match with a reporter. Hero- Oh look time for me to cry again. Aw crap, entire country is fucked now. Okay but Fuckhands still sucks. Man, what happened to that gene line where we went from Captain Milf to Fuckhands? It's hilariously depressing that Endeavor spent over 20 years destroying his family to surpass All Might and then the guy just retires and renders all of that work entirely pointless. I enjoy garbage dilf having a tantrum. I love his mom. Aww this is gonna be heartwarming. Surprise Smash! It's okay I still love you. AWWWWWWWWWWWWW THIS IS HEARTWARMING. All Might is best dad. I love Principal Mouse so much. Oh nooo don't fire him. Haa, Jiro's family talks in music puns. They are really throwing somewhat-less-grubby Aizawa at me to fill this All Might-shaped gap in my heart and I appreciate it. Oh damn Bakugo's mom's a milf. I love Bakumilf. Bakugo is suspicious. Damn Aizawa you could at least let the injured guy take the car. His room is so much fanboy. Oh dang, who'd have guessed that mama Midoriya would be the biggest obstacle. TINY DEKU IS HERE. All of them need a hug. This hurts my heart. "I'm sorry I punched you in the balls" is never gonna stop being funny to me. Hiiii Big Might. AWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I'm not crying you're crying shut up. OH FUCK NOT THE MUSIC YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. Neverland- Goddamn toddler nearly gave me a heart attack. My dumb ass would be dead within 40 minutes of escaping that wall. That key swipe worked surprisingly well. Here's an owl. Well shit I hope you know morse code. This secret passage isn't an obvious trap at all I'm sure you'll be fine. This Minerva guy seems too good to be true. Aw fuck it's the bunny. Mom's right behind y'all isn't she. My anxiety is off the charts here. GODDAMMIT PHIL. Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Thank you, little boy. Oh no, she definitely noticed and you're going to die next. Oh yeah, this explanation is much better. Whelp, dude broke. So uh, we may have a problem with Don. Boy I know you're freaking out but you need to shut the hell up before the child sellers hear you. I'm terrified that they're being watched at all times. I hope the plan is sneaking up behind her and punching her in the tits. I got a real bad feel about all this. We're building a bomb, kids. Christ you just drop that on her out of nowhere. SHIIIIIT. Mother of christ I just pissed myself. WHELP. Sword Art- Back to shit I couldn't give less of a fuck about. Please god let him be dead. I used up all my luck on not getting All Might killed, I can't make Kirito suffer. Congratulations lady, you don't have to be in this show anymore. Kirito you dumb fuck. Oh fuck me it's another generically cute servant girl. This is how I feel at work every day. All this girl knows is how to work a shaft. I dunno man I think I'd rather run an elevator instead of chopping an unchoppable tree for decades. Please kick Kirito's ass. Time is of the essence, so stand here talking for five minutes. The tree is a stand, fuck you. Don't let Kirito talk you're just gonna piss her off more. I do enjoy seeing the litte dickwad get knocked down a peg. Better get your stabbin' arm ready, boy. You failed like the fucking disgrace you are. And then shit blew up. Jojo- Kira if you don't bang that milf already I'm gonna fight you myself. Yesss show me Rohan blowing up again. Whelp, you're boned. Oh shit he broke the OP. I could watch Rohan blow the fuck up all day. I'm okay with this. He's still a better dad than Ging. Hey there Koichi. Koichi you're holding his picture. Hiiii Jotaro. And here's the bros. Whelp, y'all are gonna blow up now. Josuke is a good boy. Here we go. Jesus christ kid. Fucking cat stand. Aw shit I didn't want the rest of them to blow up too. This boy needs a hug. Ya gotta stab him, Hayato. Cat plant to the rescue! Goddamn that thing's got some power. Eat shit, Kira. Awww. You forgot your hat. Oh no will cat plant still work in the rain. This child was almost happy this morning, not on my fucking watch. Kira you bastard. CAT PLANT GO! Surely this worked out perfectly. FUCK. Clover- Oh hey, she's kinda hot. And there's the guy who's totally not evil. Yami cannot give less of a fuck if he activey tried. Oh how the fuck is that even possible. That says worse things about the other squads than it does good things about them. Fucking christ don't give him attention. That's not how math works. Fuck off, haha guy. I forgot that Tink here talks and I wish she didn't. Lion girl's got some real eyebrows on her. I respect that girl who's constantly asleep. Jack the Ripperh as a point. I forgot there was a king. I want to punch him. Yeah this announcement ain't gonna bite you in the ass. Yikes. Oh she's violent and angry she can go in the pile of people I don't hate. Hunter- I'm still voting for Bisky. Fucking Ging. Goddammit Hisoka. Granny if he catches them this is your fault. There he go. And then Granny was a plane. Whelp, you're fucked. This bastard has the most punchable face I've ever seen. And it was all the work of a single child-molesting clown. Illumi is going to find you immediately, kids. You're gonna have to run some people over. FUCK. Now would be a great time for somebody to show up at the last second and help them. Now would be a great time for shirtless Knuckle to show up and save them. GODDAMIT GRANNY. I hope she left the monocle in place so their bitch mom can watch her kick Illumi's ass. God that face is terrifying. You get out of here, you shitty clown fuck. I'm fine with Illumi dying. You know he's geting a boner. 'Kay. Oh hey, that's nifty. KICK HIS ASS, KILLUA. Maybe the rules don't apply to him because he's the only one who treats her like a person. Oh dear. GET OUT OF HERE, YOU SHITTY CLOWN FUCK. Little too late for that, Morel.

You're all welcome.

It's hilariously depressing that Endeavor spent over two decades destroying his family trying to surpass All Might and in the end the man just retires, making all his efforts completely pointless.

I'm assuming that once MHA ends, everything else just moves up a slot and they shove Pop Team, FLCL, or the last arc of season 3 at the end of the night to wait out for season 4.

iida telling those boys he's not mad, just disappointed would absolutely cripple them psychologically. Hero- Oh my god look at tiny All Might. Oh hey, she's hot. Look out for your garbage dad, Icy Hot. So fucking angry. How the fuck dare you talk about her like that. Oh, fuck you. Thanks, Granpa. Please don't kill my boyfriend. Man, Aizawa really would have come in handy here. Meanwhile, all the kids ppiss themselves. Oh fuck you, people. You're just mad about him turning your face into hamburger. Oh fuck there's a random bystander there. Oh no now everybody sees him. I'm already crying. Fuuuuuuuck yoooooou. OH SHIT. We've been Skywalker'd. You son of a bitch. All Might broke. Listen to the random bystander! Awwww everyone's cheering for him. I love you, Captain Milf. KICK HIS ASS. That must be his jackoff arm. Oh fuck it's garbage dilf. Okay he definitely got hotter with age. Awww they're here to help. Tiger! Young Torino can get it. Shut up I'm not crying you're crying. And here's this fucker, ruining the mood. Ohhhhhhh FUCK. Oh shit don't you touch my son. PLEASE DON'T KILL MY BOYFRIEND. This is not the naked All Might I prefer but I'll take what I can get. I'd like to get off this ride now. Oh god his arm. Holy fuck. Goodbye, One for All. HE WON!!!!! I DIDN'T KILL HIM NOT TODAY DEATH. I swear I'm crying happy now. Oh hey snake boobs. AWWWWWWWWWW ALL MIGHT. Neverland- Goddammit child I trusted you. Just break my goddamn heart, show. Oh jesus, you fucking knew about the monsters? Join us, Ray. Oh shit he's been playing everyone. I'm not sure if I should hug this boy or slap the shit out of him. I am way too stupid to survive in this situation. Oh shit you little bastard. Norman needs a hug. Stab her, Ray. Oh fuck wake up wake up wake upwakeupwakeup. Not now, Precious Moments! Jesus Ray you can't just blurt it out like that. Oh this is gonna destroy my soul to watch him betray them later. Uhhh you okay there Emma? Kids what a lady does in her private dildo room is none of your business. Oh little boy that is such a bad idea. Again I'm terrified that one of the adults is gonna be hiding behind a door. Oh fuck don't do it abort mission ABORT MISSION. This is not gonna end well. You're both going to die. Sword Art- Kirito you're the last person who gets to call someone else annoying. Lolis if you know what's good for you, you'll just walk back into your room and stay there for the rest of the series. This is a trap. you stupid fuck. Okay, I do enjoy seeing Kirito get shanked. What in fucking tarnation. Don't fuck with human transmutation, kids. Goddammit Kirito. Why is no one else attacking him? Oh fucking christ just let me die here. I enjoy watching Kirito get shot. That's a lot of unnecessary backstory for the fact that it's just a goddamn laser sword. Nobody gives a shit that you're a lady just be glad the show hasn't molested you yet. Can we not force a ham-fisted attempt at gender politics in a show where damn near every female character wants to fuck Kirito and/or gets sexually assaulted? At least if she dies she doesn't have to be in Sword Art Online anymore. God, shut the hell up already. I'm not lucky enough to have him die. Jojo- Hi Reimi! Aw shit the kid's dead. Hey there milf. Kira if you're not gonna plow that into next week I sure the hell am. AW FUCK the kid's dead. PEPSI. Well, shit. Oh god stop biting your fingers. Aw fuck it's the arrow. I don't think that's supposed to happen. If that arrow kills him it's just saved us a whole lot of trouble. Oh, he's alive again I guess. That is one sweet tie. Uhhh you're looking kinda different. Great so he has three stands now. Answer the damn phone. MY TEA POT. And suddenly milf is having a great day. FUCK. I'm so uncomfortable. PEPSI. Don't get in a car with Rohan, little boy. Rohan stop that's fucking creepy. And then he blew right the fuck up. I have no idea how this new power works but I'm okay with it. Lucky for Kira that these two can't turn their heads slightly to the right. And now it's Groundhog Day. Answer the damn phone this time. That makes absolutely no sense to me but sure let's just go with it. Clover- Just what I wanted, an ugly fat guy who doesn't know personal space. Hey lesbians. The whole "Call me captain" thing still isn't funny, show. This show is so shitty it manages to make lesbians annoying. Why is sister fucker still allowed to live. Even the show agrees that Yami is the only fuckable dude here. Hi kitty. Oh god we're gonna have a cat fight. I wish for death. Yami is too dunk to give a shit and god I wish that were me. Eat shit, Finral. Oh look, more people I don't like. Just kill me now. Oh jesus this is playing right into Asta's nun fetish. I hate this lesbian. Stop fighting, both of you just fuck him. Okay I'll admit "No chugging, it's just not a good look" was actually a pretty funny line. Oh boo hoo you're cursed, get in fucking line bitch. Oh, I guess they replaced Armless Frank or whatever his name was. Hunter- I fucking hate this clown. Okay dude but on the list of things you could throw at me to intimidate me, pennies is pretty far at the bottom. Bold of you to assume all of this isn't just Hisoka's fetish. Aw fuck it's math I'd rather just die. WHELP. So much for that guy. Nyooom. Hope you got a car on standby, Granny. What. And then Grandma was a bike. Killua has had enough of this. My ass would be dropping into the nearest chair as soon as I hit town. Found you. And there they go. I love Canary. Yeeeeah I don't think you're gonna be meeting up with him any time soon. Where's your sister you're not supposed to be apart from her. Illumi has friends? Of course he doesn't, he's just gonna brainwash people. Whelp, you're boned. I don't remember if we knew this rule already. In his defense, his brother is a piece of shit. Killua is a good brother. Can we call in Bisky for help, I wanna see her kick his ass. Don't get attached to any of these redshirts. Shit how threatening can they be when they run like rubber chickens. I've never seen you three before, but go fuck yourselves. Y'all should know by now that the best way to get votes is to punch Ging in the face. Hisoka does the Naruto run.

HAHAHAHA NOT TODAY, GOD OF DEATH.

Me, seeing the obvious red flags of All Might's impending demise:

You think anybody's out there stanning Vic Mignogna if they're capable of doing any kind of basic research? Just be impressed he managed to figure out how to upload a video.

Congratulations, and I love that TG's being used as an example of how not to watch anime. Hero- Well this could be going better. Oklahoma Smash is a tornado. Just let garbage dilf fry them all, it's the only thing he's good for. Oh good they're okay. This is why he's BEST Jeanist. Fuck you and your dramatic opera music and your knock-off Darth Vader helmet. BEST JEANIST NO. Meanwhile, the kids continue to piss their pants. Leave Bakugo alone, I don't hate him anymore. Iida is a stern but loving father to his idiot children. HELLOOOOOOO BOYFRIEND. God, I'm into this. Appropriate that it's Star Wars day because this fucker can use the Force. Aw fuck he can use other people's quirks like puppets. Please don't kill my boyfriend. Kill them all, Bakugo. How DARE you use his line. This could really be going better. Too bad Bakugo hates you all. FRIENDSHIP. Kirishima is the only person that Bakugo doesn't outright hate, let's run with that. Are...are you just gonna throw Hardboy at them? Oh this is downright heartwarming. NYOOOM. And Bakugo's heart grew three sizes that day. And Mt Lady saves the day. HI GRANPA. Aw crap. There is absolutely porn of that magnet bit. SHIIIIIIIT. Please don't kill my boyfriend...or my grandpa...or my kids. Wait did his mentor have the same name as Fuckhands' real name? I got a real bad feeling about this. Neverland- Because my nerves weren't already at the breaking point tonight. Shit, she knows. Are they gonna fuck? Well now you're gonna have to find a new Cabbage Patch doll. Ray speaks the truth, these kids can't survive. Whelp, my dumb ass would be useless here. This is going too well. He's like four, how can he be a spy. That seems awfully soon, I can't even go away for a week without planning for two months. Well this seems ominous. We don't have time for denial here, boy! Yeah, people, right. Yeeeeah, she's safe she's just fine. Someone hug these kids. I like Ray's original idea of just killing the adults instead. Oh no I was just starting to trust her. GODDAMMIT THEY'RE BOTH TRAITORS. Well show you have successfully bamboozled me. ONE FEAR. You're a good kid, glasses girl. I mean, not being eaten by monsters is a great incentive to turn traitor. Emma is so much nicer than I'd be in this situation. So it was tall boy after all. OH SHIT MOTHERFUCKER I TRUSTED YOU. Sword Art- And now for some kids I want to see eaten by monsters. Shut the fuck up, Kirito. You leave Alphonse Elric out of this. This OP isn't garbage enough for this show. Kill them, red guy. Goddammit, that was so close to stabbing him in the balls. "Purify yourselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka." I approve of setting their arms on fire. Great now he's a shitty version of Todoroki. CAW CAW, MOTHERFUCKER. You goddamn idiots. Somewhere, Endeavor is inexplicably pissed even more than usual. RIP that sweet armor. And of course now he's all friendly with them. Sounds like they should charge them head on. Fuck you Kirito let him have this. It doesn't count if he doesn't remember it. I mean, my brain would shit itself too if I had to listen to Kirito babble at me for a few minutes. You get back in there and kill him, you pussy. Here, have some balls. Well Eugeo you're completely goddamn useless here aren't you. How long before they have to save these two underage girl from violent sexual assault? Jojo- I love watching Rohan suffer. What the fuck. Nobody likes you, Rohan. Control your boner, Kira. Oh these people are going to die. I wonder if Jotaro can freeze time and rip that thing off his back. It's a good thing everyone already thinks Rohan is weird as shit. This guy is having a strange day. HI DOGGIE. Cats are dicks. Why are there so many cats. I appreciate Rohan getting mauled by dogs. Koichi no just let this happen. Koichi is such a good friend. On the bright side his shirt already looked like that. S-H-I-T. Bizarre, you say? Aaaand he's gone nuts. Oh hey, it's the demon ghost street. Hi Reimi! Oh shit they're gonna find him. He may be a terrible person but Kira's theme is great. This man has not been kinkshamed enough. I'm uncomfortable with this. Oh christ his ears. He's going to jack off with the hand in that apartment. RUN AWAY, LITTLE BOY. Hey Jotaro. Alright kiddo this is gonna sound weird but you've gotta find a guy with a pompadour. I'M UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS. Well now the steam's gonna destroy that tape. That towel is waaaay too short. Kira's ass is not an ass I want to see. Whelp, this kid is doomed. Thank god this boy has a weird obsession with taping everything. EAT SHIT, KIRA. Clover- Yami please make this show bearable for a few minutes. I wish these two hadn't been cured. Noelle continues to be the fucking worst. Always go for the dick-shaped food. Oh what the fuck. I wanted to watch Yami and the show filled my request like a fucking Monkey's Paw. Is he finally going to kill something? GODDAMMIT. Is this filler? Oh, are you actually gonna show Yami fighting after you went out of your way to ruin him for me? Wait who the hell is that? Even after all that bullshit earlier, he's still by far the best character. Would anybody really mind if we lost Jack the Ripper? Oh, it's the wizard king who never does anything. Show me his dick you cowards. I do like snowcones. One day I will die and I'll have to justify all the time I wasted watching this show. Hunter- I love that everyone hates Ging. He's really in third place now for decking him. Now someone punch this blond douche. Kinda rooting for Cowman here. Scratch that, rooting for Morel now. SCRATCH THAT, ROOTING FOR BISKY. Oh come on how did Ging make it to the top 16. I could watch Leorio punch the shit out of Ging all day. Is Canary even old enough to drive? Go away Illumi nobody likes you. Amane is cute. Killua is the best brother. Can we punch the rest of the family next? Kick his ass, Killua! TRUCK. This may be a little bit of overkill. This is some Final Destination shit. Hisoka is the worst. You know you've fucked up when even Hisoka is judging you. This is foreplay for them. Please kill Hisoka. You leave my kids alone you clown fuck. SHE'S SO CUTE. Ya done fucked up, girl. That old lady's got some moves. I'm with granny on that one, those two can fuck off. I love her, she can have my organs if she wants. Sodomy Clown vs Douche Butler, go!

You stand in that line and tell All Might I love him.

Read it was recap, forgot it was recap, fucked off when I remembered it was recap. Hero- Functional Adult Mode Aizawa can get it. I think this is the first time I've seen an anime explicitly offer their traumatized kids some therapy. Joke's on you, Bakugo's too fucking angry to work with anyone. Kill them all, Bakugo. I agree with Toga, let her stab him. Nobody likes you, Fuckhands. God his missing face freaks me out so much. Meanwhile, the kids are doing their best. Iida is cracking me up with that random tiny mustache. Heyyyy garbage dilf. HI ALL MIGHT. I love Best Jeanist. I would trust Granpa with my life. I don't like the odds for all these cops. Me, All Might can do me. Back off dudes she's 15. How do her boobs even fit down that alley. Kirishima came here to win. Ohhhhh fuck. OHHHHH FUCK. Pizza delivery. HELLOOOO BOYFRIEND. Thanks, Woodpool. I like Dabi getting his shit kicked by a man 80 years older than him. I love Twice. Also Endeavor is here to set everyone on fire. Hug him, All Might. Hey Mt Lady. Oh hey, they know about the monster shack too. This is going way too well. Someone just punch out Fuckhands already. Oh, that is a terrifying power. Goddammit Granpa you just jinxed this entire operation. And now for some tragic backstory. Never leave your kids with a guy who has his own dramatic opera music. OH FUCK. And now it all goes to hell. Bakugo is Bakugone...again. Alright just make garbage dilf set everything on fire. Best Jeanist is indeed the best. Oh good he found Ragdoll. Uhh you okay there Ragdoll? FUUUUUUUUCK. You turn that goddamn dramatic opera music off right the fuck now. Meanwhile, the kids shit themselves. Neverland- Speaking of kids freaking out. Maybe you'll get lucky and she doesn't sell children to monsters. The tracker is probabaly behind your ear where you can't see it. "What would be the most convenient place to put it in?" wow show, phrasing. Congrats on being the #1 child farmer. Aw fuck she knows. Are they gonna fuck? Oh, that's not normal. Lady I am getting real uncomfortable here. Great idea, loudly sing out your plans to screw over your boss. Time for murder, children. Ray is the real MVP here. Aww, look at the delicious baby. Alright, you gotta cut your ear off. Don't trust that glasses girl. Ohhhhh that cannot be a good thing. Permission to freak out now? These kids are way smarter than me. I'm constantly terrified that one of the adults is standing behind a tree. Jesus Ray doesn't pull punches here. TAG TIME, KIDDOS. Yes just a normal game of tag, nothing suspicious going on here at all. You are freaking me right the fuck out here. Goddammit kids. Okay so she can punch through trees, that's concerning. Don't trust this bitch. FUCK. Glasses girl might be doomed. GODDAMMIT GLASSES GIRL. Time to panic. Sword Art- I hate the word "fluctlight" more every time I hear it. It kinda takes all the drama out of this fight when it's a flashback and they both obviously survive. Blah blah blah I don't care, show. Shit it's a spider, gotta burn down the entire library. CHARLOTTE, YA GET IT? That is one fucking old spider. Who keeps giving the video game company money for this shit? Great, your creepy virtual daughter can have some new friends now. Oh what in the fuck, show. Welcome to the harem, magic cyber loli. I will never find someone named The Administrator threatening at all. Just take these magic non-painful knives. You heard the loli, penetrate your brainwashed friend. I do appreciate a good stabbin'. I literally do not care enough to remember a word of this. I feel like I age 20 years every time I watch this show. Jojo- GUN. Meanwhile, Rohan's a bastard. Uh what the fuck. And now he's being haunted by Vic McNuggets. I love that baby. I enjoy watching Rohan suffer. Thanks for the suggestion, random pervert. Paper guy is definitely jacking off to this. I dare you to insult his hair. Is that guy super short or is Josuke ridiculously tall. SHIT, KOICHI. This is the Doodlebob episode of Spongebob. Josuke is pissed. Help him, you handsome bastard. That's the fastest taxi I've ever seen. Oh man it is gonna be great seeing Jotaro punch his retinas out. This is my favorite stand because it's pissing off Rohan. Handsome bastard to the rescue! Koichi confired as best girl. He turned himself into paper, dude. To be fair, you are kind of an idiot. Shit's on fire, yo. Scorpions, yo. Keep your hand off your goddamn face. You dumbass. Thwarted by office machinery. Yeah but now you'll have to fight his harem and they will kill you. Now punch him to death. It was just a prank, bro! This is his version of game Darby's fight. Josuke that's kind of fucked up. That taxi driver must be confused as shit. Joke's on you, Rohan has no friends. Correction, Koichi is Rohan's only friend. PEPSI. Clover- Shut the fuck up. Pantsless Yami make this shit bearable. Just in case you forgot all these characters were terrible here's a quick reminder. Oh hey it's those two. I still wish Asta had gotten punched in the throat. "You brought your foot, right" is a really weird goddamn question. And of course, their hardships have been easily and instantly cured, negating any impact their sacrifces had in the first place. Oh good they still want to be fame whores. Oh christ, someone is going to have to sit this dumb fucker down and explain sex ed to him at some point. Soooo you're proposing a double date...where one of them is your brother...and you're trying to pair up the two people who aren't your blood relatives. Oh christ this is gonna be painful. I hate everything. I genuinely don't know how we're supposed to like Noelle. Nothing like going to a place called The Couple Factory with your brother. I hate this guy. You fucking idiots. And that's how they got kicked out of Haunted Mansion. In case you forgot that royals are dicks. I want to die. STAY AWAY FROM MOM, EMMA. Don't worry she's the reject that nobody likes, you're good. Didn't we already get this shit the other week with SAO? Please just kill me. Oh hey do I get ot see Yami fight? I don't know why Bondage Wear Hisoka is in this ED but it fills me with unwavering fear. Hunter- Hey Gon you okay there buddy? HI KNUCKLE. I'm glad Morel's alright. Oh hey it's Bisky and the mole girl. That can't be good. Oh fuck you butler guy. We're at threat level Blackwatch Plaid. Oh hey it's the nice butler girl. Is that Bisky's grandma. She's so cute. I love Canary. Ooh this one is cute. Aw crap. Just give her your finger. GAAAAAH DON'T SHOW ME THAT. Well, this could be going better. You sure are unhelpful as shit, dude. Oh hey Leorio long time no see. Please don't talk louder we get enough of that from Asta. Be nice, you douche. Leorio let him have the phone. It's a hospital you can't just evacuate the entire building! Joseph would be proud of that line prediction. Morel gets shit done. I wonder what happened to Palm. Kurapica is almost as shitty as Ging about being there for Gon. Someone please punch this guy already. Snake boobs! Fuck you and your excessively sparkly suit. Thank you Leorio. Ging is the fucking worst. He didn't say anything because your kid's in a fucking coma, you sack of wet laundry.Good, let the hate flow through you. LEORIO FOR CHAIRMAN. I enjoy that lliterally everyone hates Ging.

Hero- Don't beat yourself up it's only Bakugo. Kirishima's real quirk is being able to befriend Bakugo. Sounds legit, go for it. Iida is having an existential crisis. Rules are for chumps, do it. Kirishima the boy's arms are shattered what do you expect him to do. Jesus Deku calm your shit. Someone hug this boy. AWWWWW KOTA. "I'm sorry I punched you in the balls." His poor mom is gonna have a heart attack. Hey there garbage dilf. I love that Best Jeanist's motivational speech is just clothing puns. Hi, everybody! oh hey Momo. Iida is 16 going on 37 and is just here to watch his kids. Please hug Iida. That's all the encouragement we need for this field trip. Okay I'm kinda loving Bakugo continuing to shit on them. Okay so we've got two responsible ones and three idiots ready to fling themselves into battle, that's a good balance. Best ninja. Oh my god their disguises. I'm cracking up this is some prime acting. Oh dang Aizawa even shaved for this. I'm kinda into the whole "functional adult" look on him. I love Principal Mouse. Aw crap this can't be good. Yeah well Stain sucked and got arrested so who's the real loser here. Yeah take his cuffs off that's a great plan. SO ANGRY. Goddammit this little bastard's finally starting to grow on me. Neverland- WHELP, HERE WE GO. Great job acting natural there, kiddo. Important question, is hte plushie okay? Kids age like cheese, I guess. Thank god you're smart. Knowledge is the best spice. Oh jesus that was a joke, show! We're two episodes in, I'm sure this plan will go off without a hitch. Climb your way to freedom! No, be scared of Mom. Aw fuck they're GPS'd. Whelp you're all gonna die, kids. She knows and she's going to feed you to the monsters. This boy is way too confident he's absolutely doomed. Well now she knows who did it. Thank you, other boy whose name I already forgot. SHE KNOWS. This show's atmosphere is fantatic I am about to freak right the fuck out here. This plan is going too well already. Oh hey Ray please don't rat us out to the monsters. He's too smart for his own good. No shit this is bad. I mean, the young ones are probably safe for a couple years. Ohhh that is a depressing sentence. You are way too optimistic for someone who just watched a child get eaten. She's seen some shit. I keep expecting Mom to pop up any second now. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. Sword Art- And now this show horrifies me for totally different reasons. Kirito you stupid fuck. Uh dude birds aren't really known for their resistance to arrows. I do enjoy seeing Kirito suck and fail. I hate these kids. Wait what. Why does the sound effect for his whip hitting the ground sound exactly like a wet dildo? That's just a foot, aim for this lungs next time. Oh what the fuck he has magic hair now? Welcome to the harem, loli nerd. BOOKS. I'm sure this is a fascinating plot twist if you care at all about this show. Of course there's always one asshole. OH MY GOD I DON'T CARE. God, age is terrifying. Okay so this was like, two months ago in the real world. Never trust a naked crazy bitch. I hate the word "fluctlight" more every time I hear it. Okay but Administrator is the least threatening position of power I can imagine, I'd fear a middle school hall monitor more than that. Jojo- Not sure if this guy's dressed weird enough to be a stand user. Goddammit Rohan. Okay just don't look at his back. If you can't attack Rohan at least destroy his wardrobe. Well, that's weird. Meanwhile, they're still trapped in a cell tower. You're a good dude, Legolas. This dub is a gift. Insult his hair and see what happens. Ewwwww. KNIFFE. Aw crap. Maybe don't rely on Okuyasu's brain power. Owwwww. Oh, he looks weird. Well, that worked out well for him. Aw crap we gotta save Koichi now. Man, that old guy sure likes to talk a lot. Thank god Rohan is rich as fuck. Yeah, definitely a stand user. Meanwhile, this fucker. Tower guy sure calmed the fuck down in a hurry. Ask Joseph to punch a camera for Koichi. Oh hey, harem dude. You handsome bastard. I love the hoes. Okay what the fuck is up with his back. Rohan you have powers just use them. Aw crap what'd he do to Koichi. MILF ALERT. What just happened there. Oh that's creepy. He's definitely getting off on this. Don't be a douche, Yuya. I'm just gonna assume that the terrifying thing on that paper is a picture of Joseph naked. Clover- Mimosa you could do so much better. That's just weird, dude. Yeah there's no way I'm wasting time on this bullshit I'll be back for Hunter. Hunter- Oh fuck it's Hisoka. Goddammit fat boy. Just eat the mushroom maybe it's not poisonous. Oh, this is horrifying. WHELP. They may be terrible people but the Zoldycs theme fucking slaps. Awwww she's so happy to see him. Oh hey, her headband is the creepy faces. Oh crap don't kill my kid. When even Hisoka is judging you, you know you fucked up. She's adorable when she's not in demon mode. Illumi what the fuck. Meanwhile I'm still gonna punch this guy. I mean, at least one of them is in the hospital so it's not his fault. Shut up you douche. Where the fuck is Ging. I'm not sure if this is heartwarming or terrifying. Hey there hot dad. Beat the fat one's ass. Oh you sexy bastard the needle thing was your idea? Shit it's a trap. OH SHIT. 'Kay. That face is only slightly less horrifying once you get used to it. What is wrong with this family. The biggest surprise here is that he cares that much about his wife. Awww, she's happy.

Okay it's kinda double hilarious because Funi is a non-union company operating out of an employer-at-will state that gives them significant power to fire someone for most reasons. I'm pretty sure even the strongest employee contract won't protect you in the case of a huge public backlash after years of documented shitty behavior. I wonder if this all going to court will put a damper on the idiots whining that "If what he did was so bad why hasn't there been any legal action yet? Shouldn't he get a trail before you terrible SJWs ruin his life?" I mean, probably not but it's a nice dream.

How it feels to wander onto a page with autoplay

Cap'n Crunch or generic, store brand Lucky Charms. They always have more marshmallows than the real one.

My body is ready.

Hero- Y'all can take Bakugo but leave our bird friend out of this. Let Kirishima fight he's the only one who ikes Bakugo. THAT'S NOT AIZAWA. Dang Vlad how you doing. Oh cool he's Deadman Wonderland. You leave my boyfriend out of this. Aizawa is angry. This kid is having a rough day. Back off, crazy girl. I kinda love Twice. EAT SHIT, MAGICIAN. Aw fuck it's the chainsaws. Aw fuck it's Hexxus. GODDAMMIT KIDS. Seriously give our bird back. Sparkle boy saves the day! Well that worked out okay I guess. Nevermind, this is depressing. Now please, somebody get this boy to a hospital. Wow, Jiro's DEAD shirt is not a good omen. Aw crap they took Ragdoll. Piss off, news crew. Principal Mouse needs a vacation. Let me hug you, All Might. Please don't go Sasuke on us. Aw crap it's a traitor. A PHONECALL IS HERE. Hi catcop. Man who would have guessed that the guy who looks like a Frankenstein muppet would be easy to spot. HI BIG MIGHT. Y'all are some douchebags. You'd think locking up his hands would just make them sweat more. Awww his mom. We brought you a melon. Yeah we know he's gone we just saw that. Calm down it was only Bakugo. Rescue mission, go! Hiiii All Might. Oh hey she put a tracker on him. Class dad Iida is disappointed in his kids. Hardboy just wants his douchebag back. Neverland- Surely nothing bad will happen to these adorable children. Kids, you're small enough to just fit through the bars. Oh god it's like a Precious Moments clearance rack they're all doomed. I don't trust this lady. Nothing says your orphanage is legit like tatooing numbers on the kids. Oh this girl with the bunny is absolutely going to die horrifically. Run, girl! It's a trap. I bet nothing in this conversation will come into play later, no sir. Y'all might wanna stay away from that fence. These random closeups are weird. Nothing but good things will happen, definitely. My anxiety is off the charts here. She is definitely on her way to the glue factory. OH NO THE BUNNY. Surely this will turn out well. Kids, it's time you learned the truth about the Philosopher's Stone. Oh god what's in the truck. WHELP. Save the bunny. WHAT THE FUCK. What a surprise, she's evil. No, she is pretty fucking far from okay. It went pretty bad, kiddo. I hope that bitch at least gets paid well for this shit. OH FUCK. Sexual Assault Online- Cut his hand off anyway, he deserves it for being stupid. Again, how is cutting off an arm a crime but OUTRIGHT RAPE is not? Well hey at least she got a pet dragon out of that horrifying experience. Oh look, the traumatized girls are here. Why are you even taking the swords if you're just gonna kill them? Oh great, now we have Yugioh's backstory but with a moeblob. How do you expect him to eat with his arms chained up. Meanwhile, this shit. Sure let her go in the video game who gives a fuck. Hello robot. Nice to see that this lady is fully on-board with everything now. Robot doesn't talk and is the best character. PUT THE FLUCTLIGHTS IN THE ROBOT. Try not to shove a rapist fluctlight in the robot, please. So can they see what's going on in the game? Did they have to sit there and watch that extended near-rape scene last week? Can you just execute them now. Who designed this dungeon how did they fuck up magic chains so bad. Of course that plan worked. LOOK, FLOWERS. We're painting the roses red, we're painting the roses red. I retained absolutely nothing of this conversation. It's a trap! I can respect a career that lets you drink wine on the job. You're unarmed, you stupid douche. Jojo- Hiiii Jotaro. I love that baby. I hate Rohan. Aw crap he found him. The binoculars are a stand! Close enough, it's Legolas. Alien Legolas might be the most bizarre thing in this entire part. THE TOWER IS A STAND. Stop hogging the alien, Josuke. Just a dude living in a radio tower, nothing weird about this. He's definitely a stand user, no one else dresses like that. Oh hey, he's kinda cute. Meanwhile, more weird shit with Koichi. Gross, dude. Okay but what do you do when it rains? Meanwhile meanwhile, Rohan finds a clue. Rohan's entire wardrobe makes me physically angry. Well this dude's weird looking. Hiiii Tomoko. Oh crap leave the milf alone. Not this fucking guy. GODDAMMIT JOSUKE. And there he goes. Remember when stands just set things on fire or attacked you with tentacles? And then Josuke was a Terminator. You asshole. Legolas. Alright no bombs, good to know. Okuyasu don't be mean. I love these idiots. You know goddamn well they haven't heard of that. Well, that didn't work. OH NO OKUYASU. Could you put like, a squirrel or something in your place? He was the rope. I love this wingnut. Now fix Okuyasu. That sounds wrong but I don't know enough about callouses to refute it. LEGOLAS NO. You asshole. That dude is definitely a stand user. Aw crap did someone get Koichi. This is just going tits-up for everyone. Clover- I think this is a new OP but i haven't payed enought attention to realy tell. She may be a terrible person but man does that bitch have a great rack. Really, after all that you're just giving up? This seems anticlimactic. You stupid bitch did you really heal THAT guy. How did this show manage to make gratuitous male nudy a tiresome gag? God I hate you. Oh hey, it's the bird. Obviousy they're trying to collect the Infinity Stones. Humans ruin everything. Asta continues to be fucking stupid. Why is this guy still alive? Oh they fuckin. LEAVE THAT NUN THE FUCK ALONE, YOU CREEP. Lady I've kinda lost all respect for you now. Hey there Captain Sexy. Good news, we got a cat. Oh thank god he brought back beer. Shut up you whiny dipshit. Why are you rhyming. Oh great, it's everyone else I hate. The nosebleed means he's got a boner for his child sister. Yami just take your shirt off and make me hate this a litte less. STOP SCREAMING. Yami you have got to get more fiber in your diet. Hunter- I'm gonna fight Ging. I'm also gonna fight this douche. If he wins I call a riot. I like this dog girl. He activates my fight or flight response. Can I vote for that panda? Where the fuck is Ging now? Goddammit old man this is your fault. Hey kiddo whatcha up to? Give my kids a hug. HI KILLUA'S HOT DAD. Don't be a dick that's your kid. Calm down puppy. Oh, that's creepy. Oh that's just rude don't keep her in the basement like that. There's such a thing as overkill, sir. Goddammit fat boy. You're a good brother, Killua. Oh my god she's so cute. WHAT THE FUCK. Awww tiny Killua. Oh that's not a good thing. WHAT THE FUCK??? Make it rain, Alluka. Illumi looks wrong with short hair. CHILD WHAT THE FUCK. Okay now I can see why they keep her locked in the basement. Jesus christ what the fuck.

I can already hear Foley screaming about how little sense this makes.

I mean, Disney ain't gonna give me Devilman Crybaby's concerningly huge penis. Netflix always has that going for it.