EmpressAngel

Hero- I love Best Jeanist. Skinny Jeans Bakugo is so fucking angry. Meanwhile all the other kids are actually doing well. FROPPY FILLER, GO. Oh my god he's a giant seal I love him. He's so cute! Selkie for best hero. I just realized that her hat is a frog's face. I'd follow you into hell, adorable seal man. Sad, dejected ribbit. I don't trust those squid lackeys. Oh yeah this is a great plan. Having super hearing seems like a really annoying way to go deaf. You'd think squid lady could just chomp through that gag. SAVE FROPPY. Aw fuck it's discount Cthulhu. Kinda disappointed those aren't her real ears. Do ye fear death, Jack Sparrow? If Froppy dies we riot. THANK YOU SEAL MAN. Adorable. No big deal, this was easier than nearly getting killed by Fuckhands. Froppy makes my heart happy. Mob- Great job, idiot. That's some strange facial hair. Oh hell no you leave my kid alone. Yes please recruit the Jojo Club for this mission. This is great. Mob is too sweet for his own good. You should torture him a little more. HI, guy who sounds suspiciousy like Avdol. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. Welcome, Leader Gimp. This analogy sounds about right. RIP Minecraft boy. Jesus Christ show. Okay that flying car is some real mood whiplash. Yeah dude I'm sure this'll go just great for you. KICK HIS ASS, MOB. That'll do it. You're a good kid, Ritzu. Oh hey he's not dead. That's cold, Ritzu. Just set everyone on fire. OH SHIT HE'S GOT A SPOON. Well I'll be damned, that worked. Well you guys are just completely useless from this point aren't you. Damn Ritzu is not fucking around. Okay that plan is kinda brilliant. Awww she likes him. Slimer being surprisingly helpful. Uh boys I think you got him. I'm looking forward to seeing this guy get his ass kicked again. KICK HIS ASS, MOB. Oh shit don't fuck with Mob. Boxing- You've got a scrappy child sidekick on your side, you can't lose. Oh, you're going to die. I hope you get good medical coverage for this game. RABBLE RABBLE. Ain't no rule says a dog can't play boxing. Don't worry coach it's just a fight boner. Well the important thing is you tried.I'm pretty sure Joe's got a concussion. This is probably not a good thing. No seriously, get that man some medical attention. Alright new plan, goad him into getting kicked out. No shit there's something wrong with Joe. I gotta agree, this strategy sucks. Powerup via inspirational speech from the spunky urchin, go! Have...have you never felt afraid before? I'm still half-expecting the urchin to turn out to be a girl. FUCK YEAH PUNCHING. He even gets a slow clap! Coach leveled up with better clothes. I'm digging this montage. Oh dang that's a good match. I don't like where this is going. Jojo- I don't think Craigslist exists yet so you can't find the dude with the hand fetish. Goddammit Joseph. Don't worry, you have a rich daddy you can guilt-trip now. Well that's creepy looking. Hi, Okuyasu! Wasting my money IS starting a fight. What the fuck is this gremlin? Wait you mean he looked like that BEFORE he got shot? Oh, that's kinda sad to watch him. Okuyasu and his MILF fetish. I have no idea how much that is in American but it sounds like a lot. You sneaky dick. Oh no, he's too nice. Turd boy. You can pay for my friendship. Yes, exploit this dimwitted child for profit. Don't give him that stamp he'll eat it. It's nice to see idiot kids using their powers for fun instead of life-threatening battles. It's good that they sent Josuke because he's the only one with more than six braincells. Good job Koichi, run from the crazy bitch. FREE MONEY! Can't blame him for trying. You little bastard. Okuyasu might have rabies. Shippin' it. Let him try. He's got a point about the physique, he got those Joestar genes in full force. Clover- Just show me Yami killing things and leave me alone. Look at all these new people for me to hate. Shut up, Tinkerbell. I literally don't remember this guy at all. That fat guy might just be Shigechi's birth father. Y'know what I'd rather just get stabbed to death than drown in mucus. That's a boy? PETTY BICKERING. Nothing scarier than a fucking tree. Isn't this how Fern Gully ended? Are you really gonna deny me Yami fighting again you incompetent shits? I'd kinda rather just die than live with the shame of being saved by Asta. When did he get that bird? He's right, what really matters in a fight is watching all those beefy muscles move around. God, I don't care. Dimestore Griffith is just gonna kill you, dude. Yeah this is literally just Fern Gully now. Hey there Sexy. Keep it up I can almost feel something besides anger. Are they gonna fuck? Yeah they're gonna fuck. Hunter- I like Palm better as a monster. KICK HIS ASS, KNUCKLE. Please punch out the butterfly I'll reward you with dogs. Gon is so pissed. I hate this guy so goddamn much. OH YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I am very concerned for Gon here. Ohhh someone is going to die. Well looks like your plan has gone tits-up here. Be the voice of reason here, shirtless knuckle. I got a real bad feeling about all this. This arc has assured that I will never have kids. I don't know enough about chess to understand this metaphor. You're getting soft, old man. Aw crap he blocked the hand. Ohhh that's sounding like a death monologue, grandpa. I really hope you kill this dude here because I don't think anybody else is gonna manage it. I do love some dramatic choir music during epic fights. Heart is objectively the worst of the Captain Planet powers but maybe it'll come through here.

I'd like to sit on All Might's face.

Hero- GO AWAY, FUCKHANDS. Aw my kids are all banged up. Someone get Iida some new arms. He's McGruff the crime dog. I love him. This is bullshit they saved a guy. No don't give Garbage DILF the credit. Is McGruff super tall or is normal dude super short? I love you, McGruff. I'm sure Endeavor is irrationally pissed about this, as always. Hi, new people! Fuckhands is pissed. I love Best Jeanist and his clothes puns. OH GOD LOOK AT BAKUGO. Meanwhile, I love all my kids. Oh no poor Iida. I hope that wasn't your jackoff hand. Someone please hug Iida. Hand Crusher. HIS RINGTONE. I love Granpa. Ohhh crap. Fuckhands absolutely did not know this would happen. OHHHHH CRAP. Y'know what I'm gonna fight this guy myself. This is probably a really bad thing. I disagree I have a lot of fun when All Might's around. Fucking Youtube stirring up drama. Okay the new people are probably not on our side. Mob- That hair continues to crack me up. Oh this is gonna hurt my heart. This is your fault, Slimer. Awwww he's so happy for him. Mob is such a good kid. And now I'm depressed. AWWW MOB. I got a real bad feeling about this guy. Aw crap wrong brother. Leave my son alone you dicks. Oh this is going bad. Ohhhh Mob's getting angry. KICK HIS ASS, MY BOY. Why can't I have nice things? Team up and kick his ass, kiddos. Please stop hurting my kids. OH SHIT HE'S MAD. Eat shit, douchebag. Uh, I think you got him. Aw fuck he's still here. Uh Mob you okay there buddy? Oh fuuuuuuuck. I think Mob broke. Now I want pasta. You douchebag. I could go for a good massage. Mob might be dead. This is all Slimer's fault and you shoud kill him. So they're evil X-Men, basically. He's such a good boy. I like that guy's sweater. Yes it's your fault and yes you should feel bad. I'd say call Reigen but god knows he's not gonna be any help here. Boxing- Calm down it's just a roomba. I don't like your odds here, Spider. DRINK. Good luck Joe I believe in you. Yeah just have a bunch of shit wired right into your body that's a great idea. Hey, free apple. Hello there, street urchins. Hey, free cameras. Now THAT'S some fightin' gear. Hi there random dude who sounds suspiciously like Avdol. Fuck yeah, candy! Man that was some expensive candy. MY SNOWGLOBE. Joe stop getting your face cut open. Well this sounds like it'll be a fun fight. SHARKBAIT OO HA HA . Stop getting your pretty face hurt! I like the street urchins. Right in the stomach. This kid knows his stuff. I sense a tragic backstory. NO NOT THE WINE. Oh yeah urchin that's a great plan steal the gear. Shit's on fire, yo. I wonder how much candy they got for that. Michiko would be proud of that entrance. Urchins no don't get in the way. Oh damn that looks real good on him. Whelp so much for the fancy gear. I'm into this. Jojo- I instinctively want to punch Rohan. Phantom road! Oh no Koichi don't go alone with Rohan. ROHAN YOU KIDNAPPED HIM. Did he say a PLUS ULTRA map? Eww. Oh this is a stand isn't it. Use Rohan as a human shield. Oh hey she's cute. God I hate him. Great you attacked this girl for nothing. Rohan stop that's creepy. I love this girl. McNuggets is activating my flight-or-fight response somethin' fierce here. Oh that sounds ominous. I remember this urban legend scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. GODDAMMIT ANOTHER DEAD DOG. Oh fuuuuuuuuuck. NOOOOPE NOPE NOPE NOPETY NOPE. A g-g-g-ghost?! I hope Koichi gets away while she's killing Rohan. Oh this is depressing. Tell Jotaro he's the only real adult here. Fuck you, Rohan. Someone give Reimi a hug. Can we just leave the douchebag in the shadow realm? Well this is creepy. Look back, manga dick. Go into the light! Goddammit Koichi. Thanks I guess, asshole. Even Rohan is impressed. Ohhhh shit. I admire her for throwing him out the window. Okuyasu. Of course he's using a stand, it's always a stand. KILLER, THERE'S THE KILLER. Ohhh that's fucked up. Clover- Yes we just saw this entire arc. Every episode where the sister fucker isn't violently murdered is a waste of time. At least they're giving this fucker subtitles now. Yami continues to be the single bright spot in this shitshow. Yami doesn't have kids because I'm pretty sure your survival odds with him are 50/50 at best. And he got where he is today by not giving a single whistling fuck about anything. Wow, I don't care at all about this ambush. Did this guy steal that hat from Speedwagon? If everyone dies can we just end the show now? Well it is the year of the boar. Can you send Yami in to kill everyone? Hey there, dimestore Griffin. I'm uncomfortable with the amount of chest hair on this man. Oh good, the fairy's also annoying. Every time someone uses those sparkle eyes I die a little inside. Send Yami out it's the only way I can feel anything besides anger. Hell no kid you stay the fuck there. No goddammit leave the brats here. I'd be lying if I said I didn't make that same high-pitched squealing sound when I see All Might but damn I can't understand a word she's saying. Hunter- She's a lot less creepy in ant form than her normal form. I like that Killua has to recharge in a wall socket like my phone. Smask her with the yoyo! Alright kiddo you're gonna have to kick her ass right here. I miss Bisky. Oh no kid don't get closer she's gonna kill you. Oh hey, she's not brainwashed. Oh good, she's still fixated on the little boy half her age. I'm concerned about that giant blood stain in the middle of her chest. And then she was Yukako. Hair dress just seems like it'd be super itchy. MY YOYO. Someone, Koichi is waking up in a cold sweat. If anything, Palm's real personality only makes her even crazier. Maybe you should try aiming for that giant bubble thing in the middle of her forhead. God I hope she falls for this. Killua nees a hug. Oh, FUCK this guy. Whelp, this sucks. Kill the bug, Palm. THANK YOU. Awwwwwwwwwww. Oh, we're fucked.

You're all welcome.

No that was my reaction to the end of season 3.

I didn't watch enough new anime to make a top 10 so here's a top 3 in no order: 1. Devilman Crybaby. Lured me in with a dick the size of my arm and then fucked me right in the soul. It hurts to smile. 2. Jojo Part 5: Vento Aureo. Just pure fun. I love the main group, the stands are cool, and the music is great. 3. My Hero Academia season 3. I haven't genuinely enjoyed a shounen this much since before Toei threw the pacing for OP down the toilet. All Might's fight was phenomenal, the characters continue to be an absolute delight to watch, and we end the season with someone who promises to be a worthy substitute for my love. The wait for season 4 is gonna be brutal.

No it won't. Assuming they run marathons for Memorial Day and July 4th, season 3 will end on the last week of August. Even if it starts up at the beginning of October, that's still a solid month at least without the show premiering. Even if they do an early Labor Day marathon at the end of August to push it into September, that still brings them at least a month short.

Visual of me opening my gift from @GuyBeardmane and seeing an All Might hoodie:

I have doubts that Jojo 5 will be ready next year, considering how long it took to get part 4 licensed. MHA season 4's been announced for October, while season 3 should wrap up on the block somewhere in July or August depending on marathons. They'll probably either rerun the last couple episodes of 3 to keep it fresh in people's minds while they wait for 4, or just shove an FLCL rerun in there to fill time until it's ready.

I do enjoy how many adult characters are super bangable in this show. It's the gift that keeps on giving. Hero- Iida quit being a little bitch and turn this into a 3-vs-1 fight. Tiny Iida, still a robot. His brother is really freaking cute, this may have been my fault. Meanwhile your friends are trying super hard not to get stabbed. Hey there, nice of you to join the party. Can Iida even see without his glasses? Shut up douchebag you don't even have a nose. Those pros sure are taking their sweet damn time showing up. Iida sure is getting stabbed a whole bunch. Aw crap did Deku break his leg again? I love my boys. Y'all should probably take his knives before he gets back up. Oh right, the pros are busy with the monsters. HI GARBAGE DAD. I love Granpa. God, I shouldn't be so into this. Fuck me you, garbage dad. I know he's the absolute fucking worst but I can still enjoy him as a sex object right? Thanks for the assist, Icy Hot. Okay y'all are definitely gonna wanna tie him up before he wakes up. God, I'm gonna fuck that. In my defense, it's everyone else's fault for believing I had standards when Seitz is throwing his best sexy douche voice at me. Catch me in your beefy dilf arms next, garbage dad. Oh hey, Village People's okay. Hi Granpa! Nice timing, everyone else. You might wanna tie him up with something stronger. Iida's gonna need new arms. Someone please hug Iida. GODDAMN CHUPACABRA. Aw fuck he's awake. Thanks, lunatic serial killer? GO AWAY, FUCKHANDS. Hey there, sexy trash. He could save us all a lot of trouble if he just kills Endeavor here. Oh christ his face. Even Garbage Dilf is unnerved. Did...did he die? Now everyone go rinse the terror pee out of your pants. Mob- Hey, Slimer. Calm down, y'all. Yes good beat the shit out of it. "Friend" is an exaggeration here. Ritzu knows better than to trust him. Ohhh this is a bad idea. DON'T DO IT KID IT'S A TRAP. And now Okuyasu's here. No leave Okuyasu alone. Wow what a douche. This is why I can't be trusted in a position of power. You're wasting so many spoons. Slimer, slimer is what's gotten into him. Ritzu no, don't fall into the dark side. Oh god his hair. Well hey, he's become much less of an asshole. Now that's a handshake. Mob no don't trust this lady. I could use a Vase of Happiness. Lady he's like 14 you really think he's got money? Poor Mob. THANK YOU REIGEN. He's really growing on me. Okay I kinda love this asshole now. Yes, con artists are terrible. I love Man Club Seitz. Diiiiiiiick. Mob come get your brother. I'm glad he got beat up. MOB COME GET YOUR BROTHER. Ohhh this looks ominous. Oh no this is gonna hurt my heart. Boxing- It's gonna be awesome if he wins this fight. Junk Dog's really cute and that does not bode well for him. Well that just takes all the fun out of the fight. Owwwww. Well the important thing is you tried. You are gonna get your pretty face punched apart. And then the OP was wolves. Is aiming for his dick an option? You got him to use his other arm and now you're going to break your hands, I know how this goes. Oh that looks like it hurts. Well hey you almost survived the round and that's nothing to be ashamed of. Sweetie your face is bleeding just go sit down. That's gonna be juuuust a little difficult, buddy. If you wreck that bike again your mechanic is gonna beat your ass. Hi doggie. Oh yeah I'm sure you're never gonna see that guy again. Oh they're fucking. This is good music. Hey grandpa can you get me a fake ID? You can reach the Elite Four, I believe in you. KICK HIS ASS, JUNK DOG. Aw shit he's going off scrpit. Ohh those suit guys are angry. Ohhhhhhhhh this is not gonna be good. That soup is definitely made of people. You can't fool me with your fond talk I watch Binging With Babish too. Oh FUCK you're gonna need your eye. You're a good dude after all, eyepatch man. Junk Dog you're on thin fucking ice here. Do I sense a training montage on the horizon? Thank god for this convenient dead guy. Andd then he was a Jojo. You better goddamn win this, honey. Jojo- Jotaro doesn't seem like the kind of dude who likes hunting. You're adorable, Josuke. RAT STAND. I love Star Platinum and his fancy white colorscheme. Don't worry Josuke I also can't concentrate around good balls. This is Jotaro being comforting. Jotaro knows a surprising amount about rats. Oh this is probably not a good thing. RAT CUBE. Ewwww. I don't think you wanna go in that house. Josuke haven't you ever seen Bebop don't open that fridge. STAND RAT AHOY. Ohhhh that's nasty. I really hope Josuke can fix these random old people. Aw crap you didn't kill it. GUN RAT. Okay this entire concept is kinda fucking hilarious. You're gonna wanna dodge that. Alright now chop its head off just to be safe. Oh FUCK there's another rat. Ewwwwwww his hand. Jotaro you can freeze time how did you get hit? Alright now help those old people in the fridge. Jotaro you're being kinda weirdly casual about this whole thing. No pressure here, Josuke. Okay I'd rather run through the dank pond with my shoes on. I want an entire nature documentary from this narrator. Josuke you dumbass. Oh hey, Jotaro remembered he can freeze time. How does Jotaro's hat even work? Oh this sounds like a bad idea. Ohhh that's nasty. Jotaro you're losing to a rat with a gun, that's even worse than losing to Hol Horse. I like how Jotaro's mom didn't have a strong enough spirit to handle a stand and yet we've seen multiple babies and now GUN RATS who take it like a champ. Clover- FINALLY something I can jack off to. Fuck off furry I got first dips on putting my mouth on him. Those 30 seconds were better than the past dozen episodes. God I hate everyone else. I do enjoy him not giving two shits about their praise. Now give them the magic jewel or whatever the fuck it was so we can wrap this shit up. I'm gonna have a fucking aneurism. Kill him, Yami. Oh hey it's the bird. Take all their booze too for good measure. Hey old dude maybe if you didn't make them play some shitty game for your own amusement we could get the hel out of here already. Oh this girl is already getting annoying. Titties. God, I hate you all. Why couldn't Asta be the one who got his vocal cords ripped out. It's hard to root for the character whose dream is just to become a fame whore. I'm sure this is supposed to be an emotionanl moment but I feel nothing, show. Oh fucking christ here we go. Bird's had enough of this shit. You should probably behead him just to be safe. No, your obnoxious screaming gave you away. You're wasting your time show you're not getting any sympathy here. Just leave him here. I wonder what the less terrible character is doing. STOP SCREAMING YOU DIPSHIT. Enough of this shit, please. Oh fucking hell it's a group singalong just kill me now. Well that was excruciating. Hunter- I don't like your odds here, old man. I don't know enough about chess to understand this metaphor. Final battle, only battle, same thing. Someone hug that octopus. Can someone kill the creepy old guy already? Maybe if you hadn't been blubblering like a baby you'd have noticed what was up. Aw crap it's torpedo wolf. Can we get this guy some therapy after this? Oh god whatever you do don't answer him. Eww what the fuck. Oh christ it's centipedes I'd rather just die. What, they'll make him watch Black Clover? Damn my dude is hardcore. Oh god they're bursting through his skin I'd like to get off this ride now. Take the centipedes out of his skull now. You suck, torpedo wolf. Well you better figure out a way to deactivate it right goddamn now. Shoot him again just for his clownshit. I bet if you kill him they'll go away. Make him cry like a bitch and his bugs will probably die. Oh that's depressing. Oh shit, they used to be brothers. Huh, I guess therapy solved that problem. Now shoot all his limbs off. Aw crap, Palm's fucked. A strange moral lesson for us today. She's hatching. Huh, she looks better as an ant.

Updated list of things with stronger spirits than Jotaro's Mom: Rape Ape An actual baby A gassy Boston terrier Douche falcon Koichi Another actual baby Two rats with a gun

This line was funnier in the sub.

God I wish that were me. Look I don't approve of anything he does I just see him as a sex object that's built as fuck.

I'm pretty sure there are people calling every single anime that comes out for Toonami, sight-unseen, regardless of content or quality. I'm actually gonna say Bort's the biggest surprise for 2018, just because Naruto's still years away from ending on the block. It just seems weird to have the sequel now when the original still has hundreds of episodes to air.

So his excuse is "I've just read SO MUCH gratuitous sexual assault, of course it influenced me to add gratuitous sexual assault into my own work! I guess I'll try to maybe not do that anymore." That...is not really a good explanation.

Well that's disgusting but way less than surprising.

Hero- Well thank god Aizawa's not here to get his skull bashed in again. Granpa doesn't fuck around. HI GARBAGE DAD. God, I'd still hit it. Aw crap that looks bad. "The normal hero" sounds like the least impressive person in a fight. GO AWAY, FUCKHANDS. Remember the time Fuckhands got shot a bunch, that was great. Iida no just walk away. Whelp, Iida's dead. Dang his brother's super cute. Oh, that's creepy. THANK YOU DEKU. Aw shit Iida's broken. Find your inner All Might, kiddo. Man I hope somebody's close enough to help you. KICK HIS ASS. Oh fuck he's got more knives. I'm so proud of my son. FUCK. Maybe Garbage Dad will save them. Wait did Garbage Dad really show up? SURPRISE ICY HOT TO THE RESCUE. Yeah, I'd say you don't want most people to get your blood. Whelp so much for that. Shut up Iida just enjoy not being dead. Huh, I wonder why Deku can move first. Oh, it's blood types. I like that Present Mic randomly shows up to give voice overs. I'm adopting all these kids. Awwww Todoroki. I still would not have chosen Garbage Dad. I'm still holding out hope that my curse kills Endeavor. Aw crap Deku's paralyzed again. SHUT UP IIDA JUST ENJOY BEING ALIVE. Oh good Iida can move now. Mob- Sorry kid you're not a wizard. Dude what is on your head. You dick. Sweet moves though. CHEESEBURGER TORNADO. That is a very weird question out of context. Go away, Josuke. Mob she's cute, talk to her. Twitch twitch. Sorry girl his master's a fake. Well hey, you got a date. I love Jojo Club Seitz. This student council seems shady as fuck. Awww he's such a good kid. This guy is dressed like a Jojo character. Hair. Poor Mob. Do crimes, loiter. Yeah you've definitely got the wrong brother here. Kiddo get out of the street. I love that the bros are all genuinely good bros. Sweetie turn around before you get murdered. RIP ice cream. That's a chin alright. She's cute. Aw, that's adorable. I can respect a dude throwing ridiculous amounts of money at a stupid goal. Ouch. Well now I feel better that I don't live in a literal trash hovel. At least spoons are cheap. Oh this seems ominous. RED ALERT RED ALERT. That sure is a lot of broken recorders. I love you, Jojo Club Seitz. Don't kinkshame Josuke's recorder fetish. Whelp. he's doomed. You're a good kid, Ritsu. Congratulations you're psychic too. Oh hey it's Slimer. Boxing- Hi, scorpion. And then he died. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. Welcome to Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. Oh hey he's cute. Oh, you can't play. Good luck Junk Dog I believe in you. Or you can just get paid to lose. You seem like a decent dude, drunk coach guy. I do enjoy buff dudes beating the shit out of each other. I think his gear is made out of that old bedframe I threw out last year. PUNCH HIM IN THE DICK. I've never seen Rocky so just imagine I'm throwing out tons of references here. Well the important thing is you tried. I don't trust this guy. GET OUT OF THE STREET, LADY. And then he died, again. No shit he's injured, look at the blood. PUNCH HIM IN THE DICK. Leave that poor bike alone. What a surprise it's albino Drago. Oh that looks like it's gonna hurt when he punches you. I don't think apologizing is gonna work. KICK HIS ASS, JUNK DOG. Jojo- Run away, Koichi! Mcnuggets is going to kill you. Rohan why can't you just draw like a normal person. Congrats Koichi you're a main character. This is still horrifying. I'm not too crazy about this OP. Oh thank god the boys are here. RUN, KOICHI. No it's not okay, don't leave him alone. Aaaaand youre doomed. Poor Koichi. Oh fuck you Rohan. THANK YOU OKUYASU. Doodling dipshit. Aww he still misses his douchebag brother. Goddammit Okuyasu! Okay Josuke you wanna keep your eyes closed and just start punching wildly. I can't wait to see Rohan get punched. Call Jotaro and have Star Platinum punch the shit out of him. Leave Okuyasu alone you asshole! Oh no this was a bad idea. PUNCH HIM. Rohan you piece of shit. Rohan have you looked in a mirror you're the last one who gets to talk shit about his hair. YA DONE FUCKED UP NOW. Oh this is beautiful. He's so fucking angry. GET OUT HERE YOU PUNK BITCH. Oh right, he was dying because Dio. HI, AVDOL. And then they were saved by Space Dandy. Awww, that's sweet. Break Rohan's hands. Thank you Josuke. Clover- Somebody die already. Kill him now, furry. Finally his screams are tolerable. Alright furry aim for this throat next. Oh right, Yuno's in this show. Yeah you dumbass, the magic-draining sword is still draining your magic while it's in your gut. Don't worry I'm despairing enough for all of you. The shit is that. And this fight limps to a conclusion long after I stopped giving even a fraction of a shit. Yet again they all survive and yet again I'm left disappointed. Why has the sister fucker not beein violently slaughtered yet. Noelle continues to be unlikable. I continue to give zero fucks about anyone's backstory, show. Oh good NOW can everyone die? Just let Yami kill something I'm begging you. Yes, absolutely send Asta at him. I'll admit, giant titties are a great motivator. FUCKING FINALLY. Please god don't leave you're the only one worth watching here. Yep grandpa it's all your fault and you're terrible. Mother of fuck just shut up and stay out of the way. Daddy's home. God I'm into that. Hunter- Oh right this fight was gonna happen. Bye dragon. Uh, maybe you have to fight because one of you wants to eat people? Eat shit, grandpa's not backing down. Kill the butterfly douche, Gon. I hate him so much. Yeah sure it's a fair world when you're just eating everyone. Okay this all sounds nice but are you still planning on eating thousands of people. Kill him now, grandpa. "We've all got problems, you little bitch." Ohhhh that's a lot of power. Now THAT's how you squash an ant. Don't worry I can absolutely still see Youpi as an enemy. Aw fuck he can fly now. Well that didn't work, got any bug spray? Oh this is not going well. Your name is Bitch. Oh right, they were there when she died. I sure hope you survive, grandpa.

Oh thank god I hope it's his voice box- DAMN IT

Didn't Kirito spend like a full episode seeking out a magic item that could be used to bring another player back to life as long as you used it within like, 30 seconds? And then instead of that actually coming into play when Asuna takes that killing blow for him, he just ignores the game's INSTA-DEAD programming to save her with the power of love? Am I remembering that right?

Can I get back on Daddy's insurance?

Wait, was he a shut-in gamer tech junkie nerd, or was he a skilled and talented kendo player before entering the game? Because I'm pretty sure both of those things take a lot of time and effort to get good at. Are there even enough hours in a week to split time between studying advanced computer programming, practicing martial arts, making significant progress in MMO games, and completing regular school work?

Hero- Staying at 100% at all times is either gonna work out great or blow all your limbs clean off. I love Granpa. Well at least you got close a couple times. RIP fish cakes. Meanwhile, my other kids. Wrestleboys are trying. Bakugo is going to have a stroke. Oh hey police dude. This can't be a good thing. No shit he's been altered drastically. Ohhh that sounds bad. I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF THIS. Hey buff boyfriend. Meanwhile, Fuckhands still sucks. Just kill them, dude. Fuckhands you might wanna look in a mirror before you call anyone else crazy. Meanwhile, Iida needs a hug. Dang, Granpa must have been terrifying to fight back in his prime. Field trip! NO CAPES. Please visit Iida and give him a hug. Dude knows what's up. Man if I had powers you bet your ass I'd be using them for myself all the time. Well you're too young for binge drinking so I'm out of ideas. Nobody likes you, FUckhands. OH FUCK THERE'S MORE OF THOSE THINGS. Damn kids and your cell phones. This is not gonna end well. KICK SOME ASS, GRANPA. Iida no what are you doing. Leave the Village People alone! IIDA NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING. I'm surprised he noticed Iida's a kid when he looks 25. Man, his brother was really cute. Iida stop this is a bad idea. ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION. Todoroki's horse just fucking right off in the ED cracks me up. Mob- KICK HIS ASS, MOB. He's so sweet I love this kid. Fuck you Slimer, he's great. Reigen being a surprisingly good mentor here. There he goes. Punch him right in the dick. Surprisingly decent of you, Slimer. I won't miss him. This boy is a douchebag. Aw crap he's glowing. I hope that school has good insurance. Leave my kid alone or I'll fight you myself. Oh fuck its knives. Well, you wanted him to fight back. Your hair sucked anyways. TIE SWORD, GO. That smile is creepy. When you're a total douche, confidence just flows like water. Okay but I want you to hurt him so it evens out. Who needs psychic powers when you can destroy someone through breaking their spirit? Uh dude I think you need to take a step back. Punch him harder. Great job ya douche, you killed him. And then Mob broke. All your dick powers are gone. Uh hey Mob you okay there buddy? Someone please hug this boy. Well if this whole psychic thing doesn't work you've got a great future in construction. I love the Jojo Club so much. Dramatic harmonica solo. And nothing of value was lost. Ritsu is a good kid. You should always apologize for barfing on someone. I got a bad feeling about this. Jojo- I know that feel, Koichi. Punch that kid in the face. Girls love Joseph. Awwww baby. "Pink Dark Boy" definitely sounds like a porno. This dude sounds like a nerd. Yeah I'm sure he'll be cool with you just showing up at his house unannounced. I automatically don't trust this guy. Hahahaha it's Mcnuggets I can already tell he's a douche. You kids are about to get murdered. Fuck yeah fax machines. Rohan what the fuck. WHY ARE YOU LICKING A SPIDER YOU WEIRDO. I absolutely do not trust Rohan. Trust your instincts, Koichi. Of course he's definitely a stand user, normal people don't dress like that. You dumbass kids he's going to peel your skin off for reference. THE MANGA IS A STAND. Okay I wasn't serious about the skin thing. My stand book would just be thousands of pages of thirst. So many stands. Kick him in the balls and run! Aw shit you can't kick him in the balls. Kill the other kid first. Rohan is the fucking worst. I think he stole that outfit from Bea Arthur. Oh jesus I didn't need to know that last bit. I can't wait to see someone beat him up. Again I say, Rohan what the fuck. Aw crap they don't remember. Heaven's Door seems overpowered as shit. How much weight is that in American? THIS MUST BE THE WORK OF AN ENEMY STAND USER. Oh thank god, the bros are on the case. Manga douche activates my Flight or FIght response more than any other character we've seen in this series. Clover- Why aren't any of these people dead yet. I absolutely did not think these idiots were that competent. No, even together they're still trash. Hey maybe you'd have a better advantage if you didn't come in SCREAMING every time you go in for a hit. I liked you better when you didn't speak. I do enjoy the sheep cooks. I'd rather spend 20 minutes just watching Yami play commentator. I like it when Asta gets hurt. Let him go in unprepared again. I'm with the furry here, Yami does look good to eat. Please let Yami fight. Oh look, a backstory I don't care about. So were you a functional alcoholic before or after you escaped the giant birdcage? Oh look, another backstory I don't care about. They may be the worst squad but they have the only fuckable character so who's the real winner here. Your pickup lines are bad and you shoud feel bad. Joke's on you this show is already scraping the bottom of the barrel. Please kill the sisterfucker. Great it's a disco laser. Okay I'll admit that sheep is adorable. Of course it's a shadow clone jutsu. I'm already in despair, show. Oh mother of fuck what the shit is this. Hunter- KICK HIS ASS, GON. Dude this boy is .5 seconds away from going on a rampage. Killua''s gotta recharge. Please go help Knuckle. Don't trust this flamboyant bitch. I want to hug IRS and that is a sentence I never expected to say in my life. Fuck you Youpi. Aw shit he's evolving. Oh, that's terrifying. Man if you wanna feel rage just watch some Black Clover. Whelp looks like it's time to start digging Knuckle's grave. Maybe you shouldn't have smoked so much. Yeah well you look like a bucket of shit. Huh, surprisingly decent of him. Hey now would be a great time for somebody to help Morel. Thank you lizard man. Aw fuck he's bleeding all over. HELLO THERE SHIRTLESS KNUCKLE. And if you survive, you can take me on next. Lizard man I hope you'er taking this time to breathe while he's distracted. Ohhhhh this is bad. GODDAMMIT KNUCKLE. You're a good man but so fucking stupid. Well...that was unexpected. No seriously, get that man some medical attention immediately. I can absolutely still see him as something to exterminate and would like to fight. Oh he is looking rough. Bye Morel, feel better! Please punch that butterfly to death.

Hey I'm kinda dumb and I don't know how to tell who I'm buying for. Plz advise.