EmpressAngel

Me too, Deadpool.

It's fun remembering how JYB was in Power Rangers and I've technically had a crush on him for damn near 30 years. Titan- I hate this child. Reiner's having a bad day, again. Maybe he betrayed you because you're terrible. Hello there, random kid. This is a good kid. Gabi is fucking awful. Oh no isn't that Sasha's family? This is gonna go so, so bad. This lady's just here to see some carnage. Man I love Hange. Kill them, Hange. I always forget this guy exists but when I remember him, I hate him. Hange needs a nap and probably a hug. She's definitely got a crush on Mikasa. Aw shit they're gonna execute that lady. Horses are terrifying. Thank you, horse. I like that Gabi's original plan was to steal some horses to escape but also can't ride a horse. Welcome to the orphan farm. Oh fuck off, child. Uh oh she knows. I hate her so much. Oh, that's horrifying. Remember, racism is bad. This good child needs a hug. At least Falco is a decent person. Sasha was the best. Get in line, Levi has first dibs on Zeke's head. Food Wars- I still have no idea who that girl is or why I should give a fuck. I hate you all. Just accept that you're ahead you overachieving jackass. Blah blah blah, history repeats, whatever. So then everyone lost and this was all pointless. Oh I'm gonna hate this overly fancy shit. Okay I can respect a bitch that constantly eats. I also don't trust my coworkers to do anything. I really hope the school janitors get paid well for cleaning up all these orgasms. Stop crying you little bitch. I miss you, hot dad. Oh what the fuck now. Who ordered the Daddy Issues? Shut up, Soma. Oh what the fuck now. Yeah sure this'll go well. Fire Force- Hey Captain Sexy. Sorry about your dead wife, buddy. Titties. Date me, captain. Shinra no she's a nun. Haa her little cobra arm. Bless this shotgun, amen. Religion sure is hard when it's just a cover for creating an apocalypse. Oh right, her entire orphanage died. Hibana, in a rare moment when she's not being goddamn terrible. Aw hell somebody's on fire. Whelp, so much for the priest. Well that's depressing. Iris needs a hug. Well, I've had worse dates than this. Oh right, he has weird visions of her naked crazy doppelganger. Meanwhile, oh fuck what's going on. I have no memory of this guy. Go ahead and kill her. Man I wish I got to look at porn for my job. Fucking christ this is painful. To the titty bar! Man, this started out as a good episode. That was awful and I hate everything. Clover- No. Gridman- Oh right, he got stabbed. Aw hell she cut the phone lines. Y'all better drive fast. Good thing she only stabbed him with a little pocket box cutter. Oh good, her friends are okay. Maybe you shouldn't have been so shitty to that poor albino kid. Oh I don't want to know what that alien has planned. Aw shit that's a lot of kaiju. Huh, did they not know he was a kaiju? To be fair, seeing Gridman fight them was awesome. I love watching those things run like mascots. Damn, he's doing a lot better than I expected. Her mom is super chill about all of this. Sweet, upgrade that thing. I keep forgetting he has amnesia. Well, that's new. Wait what, you're not a real person? I'm not entirely sure what's going on here but it's gonna be fun to watch. I love her mom. God I love this shit. Depression sure is a bitch. Girl you're destroying her town and killing her friends of course it involves her. Lesbians. Oh no you go away. Aw fuck that's not gonna end well.

Burnout is real, take care of yourself.

When Black Clover does eventually get back to canon I will have to be dragged back kicking and screaming to watch it. Titan- Hange is the best. You call it disheveled, I call it quarantine style. Aw shit what's he gonna do with the queen. I always forget how freakishly short Levi is. Oh right, Mikasa's the only Asian in the country. Congratulations, you're the last descendant of the baby everybody forgot. Ancestral family trauma besties! Zeke stole that from a dude he murdered. Greed is a great motivator. You should probably not trust Zeke. Aw hell they're gonna make Historia a baby factory. I'm with Eren, fuck Zeke. Nevermind, fuck you Eren. Aw shit she's pregnant. Never trust a bunch of old drunk white dudes. Historia no have some standards. I wonder what would happen if you titan'd a fetus. Iiiii've been workin' on the raaaaaaaailroad. Levi is short and doesn't like it. Everybody get on the boat. I miss Sasha. Make Levi a titan and the war will be over in 40 minutes. I love these idiots. Sasha was supposed to live a long life. Oh they're definitely gonna have to kill Eren. Connie needs a hug. Titan Levi, still on the table. Food Wars- I hate you all. Your competition doesn't have to be 100% perfect to beat the piss out of you. I do like the Food Power Rangers. I have no memory of this guy. Shut up, bald dudes. My mouth hurts just watching these people. I'd eat my own leg before I stood in that line. Did he just stick an egg in the middle of that meatball? Okay but that still sounds like an absolute bitch to make in large quantities. Meanwhile, more people I don't care about. This fucker's still here? I was hoping it'd be hot dad and I'm so goddamn disappointed. I forgot these three were still shitting up the place. Who the fuck is this? Am I supposed to know who Harry Potter here is? Is she even allowed to work another booth? Don't these kids have their own shit to do? The real food stall was the friends you made along the way. Okay you had me at chocolate. Who the fuck is that!? Fire Force- Everything is going to hell but at least Arthur is having fun. This kid needs a hug. And now everyone has cancer. Shoot him. Huh, that guy was actually pretty alright in the end. Meanwhile Inca's 90% of the way to an orgasm. Now I feel bad for him for his adoptive garbage daughter. I hate Uncle Reaper so much. Who am I even supposed to root for here? I hate you, weird hyperactive ghost man. Thanks I guess, grown man who enjoys beating the shit out of small children. Nah dude, this shit is weird. Inca, still the fucking worst. Oh right, people died here. Fuck you moon. Here kid, this is your dad now. Man get off your Gameboy. Captain Sexy is too buff for you to threaten. Go ahead and kill Science Dandy, see if I give a shit. Of course they knew, they probably put that girl in there. I've seen Monsters Inc, I know you can find a new source. Date me, Captain Sexy. Date me, Vulcan. He'll build his own generator! With blackjack! And hookers! Well that's an unexpected twist. Oh his kawaii eyes are creepy. You should definitely worry about what they're doing to that kid. Clover- Absolutely the fuck not. Gridman- Now that's an early commercial. Here kids have some existential crisis. Akane broke. How dare these bitches be nice and include her in their plans. He's right, I don't sleep. It's funny when the little one kicks him in the shins. Fuck you, door! Huh, that's different. This is going way too well. And green boy was never seen again. Depression sure is a bitch even if you're god. Oh right, midterms. Man if you're a sensitive immature god, high school would be the absolute worst place to send yourself. Poor albino kid. Even the kaiju looks depressed. That poor thing just wants to die. Oh hey, surprise attack. That poor thing just wants to die. Aww, he brought her the umbrella. Look with your special eyes! Aw shit that thing ain't dead. Whelp, that can't be good. RIP repair kaiju. Well, that could have gone better. PLAYER THREE HAS ENTERED THE GAME. He's a nice kaiju now. Oh yeah I am here for this shit. I'm proud of you, you weird little albino freak. She's about to hit that thing with a bat. Oh fuck.

Or they have some completely justified concerns about their movie being immediately pirated to hell and back with a VOD release. Theater bootlegs are way less of a concern because fewer people are going to settle for watching a shit quality video from someone's phone, with all the recorder's natural movement and background noise included.

I'd guess that a theater-exclusive release was a mandate from Japanland, where it made approximately 75 gajillion money.

Whelp, they probably already spent the money on it before it turned into such a trainwreck so might as well air it. I still don't trust Phil.

Queen is my friend and I'm just happy that she's happy. Titan- I'm sure this isn't gonna be depressing at all. Can titans swim? Hange is the best. Levi, about to murder something. I keep hearing "Paradis" as "Parody". It's a mutiny! Well hey, you made a friend. Sasha. Hange's having a great time. Yeah, Levi killed them all in about 20 minutes. Oh, she's already a spy. Shocking that Marley's plan of ruining peoples' lives and then drafting them into their military didn't turn out well. I don't trust Bigfoot. Oh right, Crysta's the queen. I forgot all of this. Oh damn they don't even have radios? Man they just walked right into that trap. Levi is the best. Oh my god Sasha you can't just ask people why they're black. And then it was Food Wars. Oh they fuckin. Racism is bad, got it. SASHA NO. Yeah yeah we get it, racism is bad. This guy needs a hug. Connie needs a hug. I like this guy, I hope he doesn't die painfully. God I love Levi. Aw fuck they're backstabbing them. I can't wait to watch Levi fucking kill him. I hate this child. Oh shit he's been talking to her. Eren looks slightly less like shit after a decent shower. Food Wars- And now for something completely different. I hate you all. Shut up Megumi. Soma losing makes me happy. I don't care how they did, show. Erina, still the worst. Who gives a fuck if Megumi fails it's not like she does anything anyways. I hate that guy a little less when he actually wears clothes and that's how you know I hate this show. What kind of pretentious sack of shit demands reservations for their school festival booth. Everyone, still awful. I have no idea who this girl is. I feel myself age a decade every time I watch this show. I could go for some noodles. Alice is also goddamn terrible. Shut up, worst Sasuke. I miss you, hot dad. Fire Force- Maybe I'll luck out and the terrible people will all kill each other. Maki is my girlfriend. Kick my ass next please. Helloooo. I'll admit I wasn't expecting surprise body vibrator but I'll take it. Vulcan where did that little gocart come from? Just use Tamaki as a human shield. Inca is the fucking worst. Again, nothing more badass than a dude who only fights the weak and children. This poor kid. Okay sexy nurse's power is cool as shit. FIRE ZOMBIES. You're fired, dude. I enjoy him getting called out on being a dumbass. I appreciate all the sideboob here. Someone hug this kid. Shut up, evil ghost weirdo! Uhhh hey kiddo you okay there? Boy that escalated quickly. Ah fuck my boyfriend's radioactive now. I love my idiot son. Jesus the kid is nuclear. This is not the time for your weird danger fetish. Oh, now you won't fight the small child. Surprising save from this asshole. Arthur is the best. I miss you, Donkey Dick. Date me, Vulcan. Just jam the goddamn lightsaber in the hole! Everyone hates plasma girl. This is a weird episode for teamups. Vulcan weaponizing Arthur's stupidity is goddamn hilarious. Oh right, the radiation. Clover- Man, it's gonna suck when I eventually have to start paying attention to this show again and lose my weekly midnight manicure slot. Gridman- Here we go again. Oh, that's creepy. Aw hell he's got super amnesia now. Oh that ain't normal where's Thunder Thighs. Where is home? Are we fucking? You ever just wake up with no idea who you are and fuck god? Oh good, she didn't get erased from existence or anything. Join the Body Improvement Club. I'm real confused about what's going on here. At least green boy is normal. She's going to fuck all of them. Just a giant fancy alien butler, nothing to see here. Oh they fuckin. Draw on them while they're asleep. Huh, that's a weird kaiju. Doesn't everyone dream of fucking god? I continue to just feel bad for this little albino jackass. Well kid at least you tried. Just a casual stroll through the cemetery with your girlfriend, like a normal person. Oh they fuckin. Green boy knows he can't get laid even in his dreams. Sorry god, everyone would rather fuck Gridman than you. Now back to our regularly-scheduled fight already in progress. Everybody get in the computer. My inner six year old loves watching them combine and hit things. Whine harder, albino. Have you considered just walking up and stabbing him?

MY BRAND. Titan- Sasha didn't get to have dinner. Food Wars- Soma is obnoxious and shouldn't have any friends. I'm surprised Meat Meat is actually doing something nice for another person. Erina, still the fucking worst. Stop helping him you idiot. I'll be honest, spicy food makes me cry. My mouth hurts just hearing this. Megumi is still awful. Alice is slightly more tolerable than Erina. Man munchkin teacher is dumb. Kill them and hide their bodies as ingredients. I need a gallon of milk just watching this. PUT ON PANTS YOU GROSS WEIRDO. I do enjoy the bros. Everyone stop fighting you're all goddamn terrible. I miss Soma's hot dad. "Reliable" is one of the last words I'd use to describe Megumi. Come back to us, hot dad. The Monopoly money is proof of how much each shop sells as opposed to using, y'know, actual money. Please stop singing. The janitors at this school don't get paid enough. Fire Force- Whelp, y'all sure fucked this kid up somethin' fierce. Vulcan is the best driver. Meanwhile, Shinra's dying. Nerd fight. Science Dandy runs like an old man. And then they got killed by a doll. Maki is my girlfriend. BEAT HER ASS, GIRLFRIEND. Dude, murdering the kid as soon as his powers show up is the opposite of what you're supposed to do. Oh that is awful. Date me, Vulcan. This is why people put googly eyes on their roombas. Be mean to kids and they'll get angry, no shit lady. That thing's fart power makes me die a little inside. Once again Maki has absolutely zero competion as best girl. Oh fuck me it's a whole army of weirdass fart clown robots. Well these directiosn are worthless. Use Tamaki as a human shield. It's fine, Captain Sexy is here. Get out of here, overexcited ghost bastard! Why would you bring Iris there is literally nothing she can do here. Date me, Obi. Inca, still the worst. This lady does have a good outfit. Just let these two assholes kill each other. Huh, sideboob bitch actually comes in handy for a change. Please tell me this isn't gonna be a giant fart clown robot. Of course it's a giant fart clown robot. Clover- Again, nope. Gridman- Nothing to see here, just some totally normal transfer students I'm sure. Hey there, Samurai Dandy. That does indeed sound like a shitty band name. I just feel bad for that poor albino freak. I don't think you guys are gonna beat the other class's Copyright Infringement: The Play. Is that a MECHA GODZILLA because I am 100% here for it. They're right, it is a good model. Green boy is desperate to get that Mega Zord and I understand. Is she really your friend though? You're really bad with girls, kiddo. She's got a point, MECHA GODZILLA is so much cooler than this festival. Get that boy a sandwich. I think he might have rabies. You really sure you wanna call this girl your friend? And then lesbians. "Tee hee, you have no free will!" LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO. Oh this is awesome. Dude, that was tits. What are they wearing. Whelp, now the crazy god girl is talking in your mind. At least the weird alien guy supports her.

I genuinely hope that 1-B got the same fight against Mirio that 1-A had at the end of season 3, because the thought of Douche Rogue copying that power and then falling through the floor naked and screaming until he passed out is hilarious to me.

If you're willing to pay hundreds of dollars, you can find plenty of Tamaki figures on Ebay that are probably suspiciously stained.

Sorry princess you're just going to have to settle for the merch that the companies are willing to make.

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This is a double whammy that does critical damage to me. Titan- Yeah this is going just great. Goddammit child. This timeskip was good for Jean. Hi Levi! Just kicks him in the face immediately. I have no idea who this old guy is. This is going way too well, someone's about to die. They should probably get away from that open door. Sasha's right, you can't eat your beard. Gabi needs a hug. Revenge is wrong and only makes things worse, got it. Whelp, so much for that guy. Aw fuck she's got a way up. This isn't gonna end well. FUCK. Well now I hate this child, throw her off the blimp. I don't think Sasha's okay, guys. My last words will also probably be "Are we eating soon?" Well tossing these particular kids out of the air ship will help me feel better. Packmule is looking rough. Uh somebody might wanna tell Levi and the others what just happened. Fuck you, Zeke. Let Levi murder some children. Aw shit it was all a ruse. Levi's gonna fucking kill you one day, Sasquatch. Reminder that Eren sucks. Aaaand I'm crying. Fuck you, Eren. Food Wars- I'd like to get off this ride please. Fuck off, Megumi. I don't know any of you kids but I hate all of you. I don't care, show. No let him do it and get expelled. Erina, still the worst. Titties. Oh, he is short. It seems a lot easier to get out that food when you have an army of identical clones to do the work for you. I am really fighting to pay attention to this shit but I don't care at all. Put some pants on, you disgusting weirdo. I hate Erina so much. Oh, bowl guy. Meat Meat is also awful. I hope he loses and cries. Fire Force- Fuck off Lisa he's my boyfriend now. I love Arthur he's so damn stupid. Gorilla to the face. Tiny Shinra needs a hug. Jesus science Dandy where the hell did you come from. Wow what a shock he was working for them. Nobody cares, Dandy. Whelp, that sucks. Yeah just go walking into the evil science lab, this'll go well. Captain Sexy's gonna get himself killed and yiou can't blame me for it. I feel bad for this kid. I don't trust Uncle Reaper. RUN AWAY, CHILD. Go away, weird mental ghost asshole. Leave the poor kid alone. Uncle Reaper fucking sucks. Oh yeah nothing makes you feel like a badass like beating the shit out of small children. At least Dandy knows he's going to die. I got a bad feel about this, Scoob. My dude he used to be a lab rat, he knows what you're doing. BEAT HIS ASS. This could be going better. Clover- No. Gridman- "Okay so this random hobo child said she was a kaiju and our classmate is an omnipotent god." Hey there, albino kiddo. He stole the sandwiches. RIP sandwich. Sure, just casually ask her if she's a god over lunch or something. Oh she's thirsty alright. Kid you're gonna have to fuck god. Bitch you're trying to kill him of course you're not his friend. I love that they use the Inferno Cop music. "You're a god disguised as a high schooler!" is really on the nose here. Damn, now that's petty. He's a fancy cyborg alien thing. Okay that's new. Aw shit it regenerates. Well now you've pissed it off. Good, good, let the hate flow through you. Yeah this is a trap. Okay that is also new. Sorry albino, the important thing is your tried. I just feel sorry for this poor little bastard. Owwww.

I still think the guy who played Reigen in Mob Psycho would have been perfect but whelp, he got himself into his own hot water and sent to the shadow realm.

Millions of people have been fucked over by this natural disaster, but we all know the real tragedy is that we may experience the minor inconvenience of not being able to watch some new cartoon episodes next month.

Titan- FUCK YEAH, LEVI. And we would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling packmule. Meanwhile, Eren's screwing it up. Falco, still confused about what's going on. And then fucking Sasquatch shows up to throw rocks at everyone. Oh right, Annie had that crystal thing too. I'm just waiting for Levi to kill Bigfoot. Oh, somebody big just blew up over there. Oh, I guess it's Armin. I could watch Levi murder things all day. Packmule's getting fucked up here. And then everyone died. Good job Armin you killed everyone. Kid you really don't understand this whole "war" thing do you. Damn she is fucked up. Sorry kiddo I don't think Reiner's in any mental state to fight today. Hey, Hange! Good luck folks. Oh shit using the jaws guy to break her shell is a really great idea. Eren's just gonna eat everybody today I guess. Yeah the screaming's gonna help. Reiner's having a bad day. Ass Class- Kill his ass, Nagisa! I hate that middle aged kid. Don't listen to them, just kill him already. Stoop to his level and kill him! Let the hate flow through you. Or just shoot the bastard. He's batshit crazy and somebody needs to kill him. Jesus dude the kid's like 14. Thanks for the advice, old Russian murder grandpa. Uh hey Nagisa you okay there buddy. Ride the lightning, bitch! Good job kiddo I'm proud of you. Great now go save your friends. I hope there's some magic science guy somewhere who can recreate that super fast. Stop sucking the gun, weirdo. What a twist! Aww, the assassins were nice guys afterall. Thanks, murderers! Oh right, Bitch Sensei's still here. I love her. Good, everyone's fine. And everything is back to normal. HARDCORE VACATION, GO. Perverts. Karasuma if you're not gonna plow that then I am. Fire Force- Definitely rooting for Joker on this one. EYEPATCH FIGHT. Let Beni beat his ass. Boo, no fight. Flashback, go! Ohhh that looks painful. Well, you wanted to know the truth. No he is not okay. Nice rock. Here, read this lady's diary. Whelp, y'all have gotten yourselves into a real pickle haven't you. Aw hell not this bitch again. Huh, that's a twist. We're good here, you only killed one mystery guy. Oh no they've got his insulin. I forgot all about that guy and the kid he almost killed. Oh right, Shinra's our main character. Hiii Vulcan. Is that a sexbot? I can't believe he took that bitch back when I'm right here offering to be his girlfriend. The lizard blender is great though. Hi, Captain Sexy. Yes, make the mechanical boobs. Vulcan deserves better. I'm with Arthur, just bust in. So we have to fight Amazon, I guess? Science Dandy, still creepy. Hibana, still awful. Never trust a businessman. Whelp, he's gonna die. Clover- Is this just more filler? Did anything worthwhile happen in this episode or was I correct in my decision to fuck off and look at Endeavor porn instead. Gridman- I'm just gonna assume the swim trunks were, in fact, dumb. Show me that girl's face. You gotta admire this little bastard's determination. That's the Inferno Cop song! Seduce her mom, standby. Well that's creepy. Don't date the freaky kaiju girl. I can also be bribed against murderous violence with a good sandwich. Throw that boy in the river. Hi, samurai Dandy. She has a brother? The handsome one's doing a great job in the store. Date her and turn her good with your love, green boy. Yeah he's a weird weird little kid. I'm confused as shit about what is going on here. That's a very good question, mask dude. I got a bad feel about this, Scoob. Don't fall asleep she'll steal your organs! What in the hell is going on. This counts as a date. Aw shit the weird homeless girl just spilled the beans. This little pixelly explanation is adorable. Surprise, she's a massive bitch. Is this all just her Sims game? Aww green boy you're a good kid but she's going to kill you now. The most surprising thing is that the weird little hobo girl wasn't evil. Aw crap the weird albino kid is here. Mask guy and samurai Dandy with the save! Shit's gettin weird in this town, folks. This isn't gonna end well is it.

Me, once again being dragged into Black Clover against my will: Titan- Surely these children aren't about to be traumatized. I still don't trust this guy but it takes serious balls to volunteer as titan bait. Well at least Eren is having fun. Whelp, your friends are dead. Oh hey, that lady's a titan. PUNCH. Oh damn, titan lady fucked him up. Aww good, her friends came to save them. Oh shit are the others actually gonna get to do something? MIKASA, FINALLY. And everybody else is here I guess. I have no memory of that guy. Yeeeah Eren may have gone a little overboard on that. Oh shit it's still moving. Okay it just straight up summoned a crossbow. Whelp, that kid's dead. Girl you are gonna get yourself killed. Sasha got to do something! Huh, it's tied to a string. This is clearly going too well. Oh shit. FUCK YEAH LEVI. Ass Class- Oh yeah dude this is gonna go great for you. Joke's on you, the kids will fucking kill you. Stop blowing your gun it's creepy. Squid is still best teacher. Forget your parents kids, Koro is your dad now. This is a man who's definitely fucked his gun ant least once. Eat shit, creep. Somebody take his gun waifu away. He made a scarecrow in total silence and that's important. You did good, class. Oh good, Karasuma's not dying anymore. Oooh the plot thickens. Ah, the weird 40-something year old kid is poisoned too. Just use him as a human shield he's dying anyways. Awww, he's proud of them. Whelp, you're screwed. THIS ASSHOLE. Oh he's not looking right. Stop calling yourself daddy it's creepy. Oh fuck this guy. Boo hoo, people laugh at you for being a shitty teacher. Just let Karma kill him. You son of a bitch. Nagisa is a good boy. YOU SON OF A BITCH. Fuck it we gotta kill this guy now. Fire Force- Again, this one's not my fault. False alarm, he's fine. Goddamn blow darts. Yeah he's just a normal guy who can shrug off horse poison. At least Joker's having fun here. Whelp, time to descend right into hell. Huh, he was a priest. Oh god that hair. Cool, time to start killing. Oh hey, actual backstory. Aww he was a cute kid surely nothing traumatizing happened to him. Dude chill. Tonight's theme is "fuck them kids" apparently. God this guy was a dick I'm glad he's gonna die eventually. Jesus show calm the fuck down. I NEED AN ADULT. Fuck it I'm rooting for Joker more than anyone. This is going too well for him, this nice family is about to be murdered. Christ that was quick. It's definitely time to fucking kill that guy now. I'm excited to watch all of them die. Beni doesn't fuck around. KICK HIS ASS, JOKER. Oh he's got a Renji sword this'll be easy. Grab his dick and twist it! Congratulations you found a character that I hate more than Tamaki. He's a joker, he's a smoker, he's a midnight toker. And then everything was drugs. Goddamn this is awesome. PLAYER 3 HAS ENTERED THE GAME. Oh shit it's the main captain. Clover- I don't wanna go on this ride let me out of the line right now. Oh thank god it's Charmy filler. Shut up Asta. STOP SCREAMING YOU DIPSHITS. I do love those cooking sheep. If I have to watch this show at least they threw me back in with one of the few good characters. Why did you have her make demon food? Hey there Captain Sexy. Jesus Yami eat more fiber. I'm glad no one else knows who the fuck this guy is. It's okay Charmy you tried your best. Fuck off Asta let Yami kill something. You stole this plot from an old Powerpuff Girls episode. I don't want to watch this anymore. Gridman- Titties. Hi, kaiju. "You look fat." And then lesbians. Rafting in a face mask sounds like a new form of hell. Boner alert. They're having fun, this is going too well. This conversation isn't suspicious at all. I hope your phone is waterproof. Oh cool it's a mountain kaiju. I like her mom. Running is the worst. Payphones still exist? Meanwhile the mountain is burning. It's gonna be real funny if she gets herself crushed in the kaiju fight. Oh hey, albino boy. I'm also weighed down when I try to run by my big thighs and boobs. And then he died. Everybody falls asleep on the train. Uh quick question do y'all have an outlet to plug that into? Gridman gets to go on a field trip. Cool, what does the girl weapon do? Oh nice she's a fire extinguisher. And then he lost. Goddammit not you again. This is the drill that will pierce the kaiju! These fights really are just pure fun to watch. At least give him back his scarf. Your friends think you're getting double teamed by those two on the regular. I can't tease anyone for sleeping through a train I fall asleep 10 minutes into every flight I take.

Pants on Titan is objectively an improvement, fight me.

....You do realize that the show was made years before covid-19 existed, right?

Season 1 ends next week. It won't be the middle of the arc when it goes on hiatus, you fucking dingbat.

This is not the Ass Class I wanted to see.

At least we get Yami back. Titan- Will this be the week that our main character finally does something? here, watch their parents suffer now. Gee I'm sure this is gonna go just great. Damn shit really went to hell in just a century. This all sounds 100% legit and historically accurate. I like packmule girl. Falco you dumb shit. Taking everyone and fucking off to your own island with blackjack and hookers is honestly a perfectly good plan. Oh yeah this is going well. I still don't trust this guy as far as I can throw him. I forgot that there were titans in the walls. Goddammit Falco. Oh are we just going full Code Geass here on him being the enemy of the world. LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUMBLE. Great job Reiner this is all your fault. Remember kids, racism is bad. Whelp. Sword Art- I sense bullshit on the horizon. Did no one think to put a GPS in that fucking sexbot? Why would you mail yourself instead of just going there normally? Does she not know he's basically been married to Asuna for like years now? Hot uncle dude had to die for you, you appreciate that. Yes, the crazy naked lady's hopes will become a reality one day. Where's his weird incest sister/cousin? I hope she accidentally kills him. She just rammed a steel plate into his head how is he fine. Wait I thought his parents were dead is this just his aunt? This fucker's still in high school? Shut up Alice this isn't your family. Your panets know your internet history, be ashamed. This is why I lock my door at night. Oh what the fuck now. Jesus christ this shit never ends. So they went to all the trouble of bringing her into the real world just so she can immediately turn around and go back? Y'know Asuna, the one who's basically his wife. Who's behind this, the dead guy who murdered thousands of people for shits n giggles? I hope they die. What in the goddamn fuck. This is stupid. What the fuck is this. Am I real? Does the bus run through here? Okay so do I need to make an appointment to fight Reki Kawahara or can I just show up at his house and throw hands? Fire Force- Science Dandy still creeps me right the hell out. Hi, Captain Sexy. Somebody might wanna break that news to Vulcan. Oh hey Vulcan. Sounds like your ancestors were into some freaky cult shit there. Well they can't have been too good if they threw a human sacrifice in that thing. Pi is indeed a terrifying and evil form of magic. Oh hey, that guy. Oh hey, the one guy who I forget is actually evil or just mysterious. The fuck is your deal, science Dandy? Oh, guess it's time for a tragic backstory. No shit they're not gonna let you destroy the state religion. Oh sure just wait three years. Meanwhile, shit's going down with the other squad. Beni's definitely causing trouble out there. I do like the cool fire letters he can put up Sesame Street-style. You had to stand up there for dramatic effect. I got a bad feeling about Fire Pope here. Good news, Beni came to visit you instead. Damn they're not screwing around. And then he died. Okay you cannot blame me for this one. Ass Class- Just in case you forgot that Karma's fucking crazy. Don't let that man give you a handjob. Aim for his junk! I know he's evil but this assassin guy is pretty fun. And then Karma got poisoned. And then Karma poisoned him. False alarm, our favorite crazy boy is fine. Aww, he learned something afterall! Oh that's fucking evil you little bastard. Girl time now. And now it's time for Nagisa to dress in drag. It's funny because he looks exactly the same. Oh he's definitely about to get roofied. Not the relatively small but absolutely terrifying syndicate! I like that he just gave up on the girl voice. Drugs are bad, mmmkay. Now that's a pin collection. This dumbass is gonna ruin everything. Oh no stop dancing. Somebody save this kid. KICK. I like that he bouncer didn't notice that guy getting the shit kicked out of him but does notice he needs to get pulled off the floor. You're gay now, kid. No one is entirely convinced Nagisa is a boy. The power of shittalking your enemy. TASER, BITCH. Here kids have some guns. To be fair, you don't have to shoot anyone you care about this time. Get that out of your mouth. Gridman- I hate this girl. I will fully forgive her if this ends in lesbians. Oh god is that a boy band. Everyone's thirsty for Rika. Gridman says cockblock them. The boys are ruining her plan to talk to the cute girl. Samurai Dandy will solve this problem. Okay but the main college boy is real cute. Oh no don't kill the college boys. The big guy is here to give you dating advice. RIP college boys. I like her mom. Oh no we're down to one college boy. I forgot he lost his memory. Kaiju time! Fucking Youtubers. Samurai Dandy to the rescue! I don't even have a snarky comment I just genuinely love watching these fights. Aw crap now there's two of them. Oh cool they can all turn into his weapons. Oh my god I hope they form a megazord. Haaa, the computer glitched. Uhh unplugging that might have killed them. Nevermind they're fine. You're up, big guy. Oh damn that looks cool. Better luck next time, weird angry albino kid. Get it, buddy! Well the important thing is you tried.