Azalar Hex

Poor Monopoly Guy. Neither he nor the police officer appear to be wearing pants. And the police officer seems to have equipped himself with a ready replacement for his lack of genitalia. Look at Monopoly Guy's face. He knows what's about to happen.

I think maybe the whole point of socks is that they are usually the closest thing nearby. What with dudes probably kicking off their shoes at the computer desk. And keeping a box of tissues next to the computer would be an obvious sign that you churn the baby butter. As would be the required waste basket filled with crusty memories of shames past.

I can fart the words "burrito baby" if I am in a proper half-squatting position and coming off a cabbage-only three day diet.

Nerds!

Bergina!

They ended up putting me in dumb-dumb classes with troublemakers and wall sniffers in high school for the last couple of years before I dropped out. I got straight Fs and slept through everything. Fun part was I would ace the shit out of tests.

Sweet. This is gonna be my first thread actually moved into Dumpster Fires.

All truth. I have a talent for things going about as bad as they can possibly get. Although I guess I could have ended up with an STD, a child, and a knife in my eye.

23. Met a large woman online during my chat room Role-Playing days while I was running a storyline. She came over for a weekend under the pretense of love, but she just wanted to take some dude's v-card. It was not pleasant, additionally, due to my constant daily self-abuse sessions I lacked the sensitivity to effectively get off. I mean, she did. Multiple times. ( Or so she said. ) No issues keeping it up. But I just didn't go anywhere. This may have partly been due to the fact that she wasn't so much doing sex as she was vibrating wildly on top. She went home a day early and told me she was engaged, that her fiance would murder me if I talked to her again, and that she went to Renaissance Fairs and slept with random men. So I may have blown it. I fondy dubbed her "The Fleshy Washing Machine". That has been the only time I've been allowed to penetrate another human being, so I might as well just be a virgin.

I'm enjoying it for what it is. Then again I don't hate Kekkaishi and Naruto with a frothing rage like most people seem to these days. It's good to know at least that I'm not so mentally numb that the show can change tones and I still consider it light hearted kiddy stuff. Then again I was the one who showed my nephew AoT to begin with. He picked it up from episode two onward himself. I would not be responsible parent.

A while back it seemed to be pretty popular for folks to say the show gets all twisted and dark compared to its first episodes ... are we still waiting on that point? Ripping out a dude's heart is kinda ... meh. I don't need spoilers, just reassurances that my nephew is gonna scar his psyche at some point. He did watch AoT, though ...

I went swimming in a river in the middle of night during winter. And I did it while on fire.

I was gonna say Dash Boy, a fat 40 year old unemployed guy who dresses up like a superhero that I came up with when I was 14. ( So basically I created a character based on myself in 26 years ... so about five and a half years to go. ) Unfortunately, google says that name brings much gayer things these days.

Half of 42 is 21, which is the legal drinking age where I live. 2 + 1 is 3. Which is the number of times I've seen boob in real life that I wasn't related to. Solve for x.

But it's too much work. I like grape juice. And boobs. But not grape juice on boobs.

It's like trying to put out an electrical fire with my own piss. Nobody wants to social at people they don't know from work/school/sex.

Emily Browning is hot.

Internet speed advertisements give me diarrhea. What I'm paying for is 7 Mbps internet from AT&T. But those are MegaBITS. Everybody knows this most likely. Even I wasn't expecting anything near that fast, I just didn't know how the math added up. ( For those that don't know Megabits can be converted to Megabytes by dividing the number by 8. So if you had an 8 Megabit per second connection, that would be 1 Megabyte per second download speed. ) Seems like they all stick to using Megabits specifically to get people to buy in thinking they'll be funneling massive amounts of internet in like burritos into a fat guy after he woke up from a six month coma. Apparently since I'm close to their internet generator, I'm boosted up a bit and can see numbers as high as 900 KBps.

Maybe since he's living in a garbage can that means he has no money. And thusly refers to a fire he builds inside of it as his heater so he doesn't sound as poor. Plus "He turned on the heater and burned off his wiener" fits the song a lot better than "He built a small fire inside a plastic bowl he filled with rocks to hold in his lap while in the trash can to stay warm, but the rocks weren't enough to keep the heat from melting through the plastic. So when he accidentally went to sleep the burning embers slipped through a hole in the bottom and somehow managed to burn his wiener off before he woke up".

He lives in a garbage can ... He turned on the heater and burned off his wiener, He's Popeye the sailor man!

I fapped.

... is not in this thread. Carry on.

That'd be the greatest assault video ever. Somebody like Carrot Top in a public appearance and then gasps as the crowd of three people spreads out, Carrot Top leaping into the air like an electrocuted cat. A bodyguard slamming some dude against a wall who just wielded the water willie and pissed on ol' Carrie's hip.