Azalar Hex

Depressing to look back at a time when I was at an age that wasn't considered expired goods.

Should I be concerned that that video is marked April 1st? Or more concerned that somebody went to the trouble of assaulting that poor lady with a plastic unipus that is relentlessly punching her in the stink taco?

I had the theme from Duck Tales stuck in my head for, like, two months once.

Accessible free to fondle breasts of medium to largish size attached to a living female who weighs at least 250 lbs. less than I do. Either that or more lax views on familial inter-breeding. I totally want to bang one of my relatives.

34 year old unemployed white male living on disability. 390 lbs. 6'8'' tall. Really small penis. I have crippling social issues, anger problems, sleep schedule complications, an intense inferiority complex, low self-esteem, a badly warped sense of humor ( jokes about dead babies ), hate of babies, poor hygiene, chronic masturbation at inappropriate times, an anime and video game focused lifestyle, and an extremely poor diet. Looking for physically fit and attractive manic pixie dream girl. No fats.

EDIT: Nudity

Fields of 404 errors.

Oiled up plastic wrap stuffed inside a hole I poked in the closet wall with the penis. It didn't work. And before somebody asks the question, I'll post the answer: Both.

Oh I'll touch a lot of butt. For some reason I get a lot of shoulder ass when I get my hair cut. Different women and guys, different places of business. But at some point they always find an excuse to put my shoulder into their crack. I've got mad sexy shoulder magnetism, bro. I mean mad shoulder magnetism. Consider the fact that so much ass has touched my shoulder, and consider the fact I'm 6'8''. Even when I'm hunching down so they can get to the top of my head, my shoulder is hardly ass level for most folks.

Sittin' at home thinkin' about all the boobs in the world that I'm not gonna touch before I die. Normal sunday.

It's "gee eye eff". Lazy people don't want to say letters anymore dubulyew tee eff.

Pee in her butt.

My town has been abandoned since June. I imagine the town is filled with drugs and prostitution. Just like it was before I abandoned it.

Landlord showed up two days early for inspection. We gotta throw away all of our living room furniture. Not because there are any bugs on them, or that they have found any bugs on them. But because they have "too many crevices". Found out that if their bedbug treatment doesn't work, we have to pay for a second one. Anybody wanna loan me the $5,000 they told me it would cost?

I sometimes have a poop so good that I suddenly get paranoid that I'm actually in bed dreaming while pooping myself in bed.

YOU SHUT YOUR FACE I need to save my money to buy disappointing gifts for my nieces.

No car and walking there is entirely out of the question. And the local (only) cab company won't transport my father because he got in a fight with their driver. It's a magical time of year.

I trapped some of the little fuckers in a tea bottle. Look at them suffer. LOOK AT THEM DIE!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!Bastards.

*** **** mother-******* bed bug **** ******* **** gobbling **** ****. My entire christmas is entirely fucked. My family has uninvited me to holiday stuff. My landlord is pissed off at me. And every single bit of my shit is going in the fucking dumpster. My heart rate is seriously blasting through the roof right now. The stuff they are requiring us to do is impossible. And they tell us not to leave the apartment or we'll spread the little fuckers, but during the three five hour long treatments they require us to leave the apartment. My father is an old man with mobility issues. He can't fucking go for a jog or sit out in the damn cold.

I'm all for year round cold. The human body naturally produces heat. But when you are all sweaty and wriggling in a mass of damp sheets and soggy underwear in bed, the fans do nothing but push more hot air at your face. AC is a bitch and it always seems to break down. Throw somebody in witch's titty cold weather and all they have to do is jiggle around vigorously to warm up. Masturbation. Eating. Watching Batman. And if you have another person with you it's an excuse to get naked and press your bodies together.

Just clone the cat and leave the freshly minted cat seed with the original babysitters. If he shows up for the cat he'll be pleasantly surprised that it has managed to grow younger.

My picture is a drawing I did of myself if I weren't a bloated manball. And if I were a cartoon. And if I shaved off my mustache. And if I had a pointy nose.

Actually if they get out of control you can end up with blood stains lining your mattress. Mine just looks like somebody took a small spray bottle filled with shit and painted a couple of the seams. Got a bag over the mattresses and a dude coming to steam clean the ever living hell out of my apartment. Everything else gets to live inside big black plastic bags for the next year. Who needs clothes. I'm nude 99% of the time when I'm at home anyways.