Azalar Hex

There will be bacon. There will be cake. There will be porn. And there will be all 3 at the same time. None of you are invited and I need to buy thicker curtains.

Killing the hooker after she laughs at you for crying so much when you put it in for the first time that you go soft.

I'd hit it.

Any female that is shorter than me, younger than me, and not as wide as she is tall. No children, please.

I want the rank "Corny Poo".

I dream that one day I can be a fraction as majestic as ManFaye.

I think I just burped up a cheeto. At least I really hope it was a cheeto.

Wow she is ... she is a looker.

1000 maybe? Gonna have to step up my shitposting game.

I was curious why folks were commenting on DF when I couldn't see it any more. Yeah, 2000 posts territory is a land I will never cross into.

I flushed my Facebook around 2010. It helped that I didn't have any friends on there to begin with, though. The whole thing just seemed like a masturbatory aid for the popular and a way to shove their garbage into stranger's eye orifices.

Man I wanted to see his "final form".

DONT READ ME IM DRUNK ( If you are thinking I made some stupid post you are right. But none more than usual. I just couldn't delete the thread so space filler. )

My breakfast cereal would be called Azalarios and would contain 100% beef patties. Breakfast can suck my dick.

Best you'll get out of me without photoshop. Enjoy I guess.

Happy late birthday too, then. Seems like everybody is having a birthday around now.

I dropped a massive Tic once in a public toilet after binging on chinese and leftover mexican food. I didn't notice that there wasn't any water in the bowl because the toilet was broken. That beast was so heinous that it got the stall next to it marked as "Out of Order" too.

At the same time?

I don't know why you're in such a hurry to lose your virginity. The first time is terrible. Always terrible.

Yup. I did. Sent a message to a mod months ago and told him how I did it, too. It's not hard. Figured somebody else would figure it out by now. Until that point I get to enjoy the celebrity and respect that comes with being ultimate gamer.

Grits. So ... kinda tasted like the last one that came out, actually. I did have a baked chicken piece at lunch, though. It was a glorious chicken and I thank that chicken, it was a good guy. I'm doing a lot better. Took about 12 hours for them to get the nausea out of the way. I was pretty much out of it until then. Couldn't handle the glasses sitting on my face so I was blind during that part, but lots of pretty out-of-focus nurses during that time. That had me on about four IVs at once since I was seriously dehydrated. Went in both arms and did a thorough job of perforating the rest with blood draws thanks to the fact my veins are hard to find outside of the classic IV spots. They were good folks, though. Sadly, no pudding. They had me on zero liquids and foods for the first six hours or so, then mostly water and ice chips until things started calming down in my stomach. I did get some sugar free jell-o eventually. It was lime flavored. No cat picture, it was on my sister's phone. It shall become my new avatar when I get it, though.

Folks seem to agree that people's expiration date is somewhere in the 30s at the absolute earliest. You still have plenty of youth left! Reach for the stars! Ride the unicorn! Tame the dragon! Kick life in the balls and then bite one of them off ( or something ). When I was 25 I ate a whole canned ham by myself.