Azalar Hex

[glow=#4400ff,2,300]One day I'mma ask what this shot glass thing was all about and why sending it to a specific person was apparently a turrible idea. Not today, though. Today, I try to eat a whole ball of cauliflower.[/glow]

[glow=#4400ff,2,300]Back when I was still in school there was a guy working at the Taco Bell who had a girlfriend who apparently didn't know he worked there and came riding up with some other dude. They say he gave her taco a dirty sanchez. Which sounds a lot sexier than it actually was. No, no it doesn't.[/glow]

[glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots can be programmed to only say yes.[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots don't have human STDs.[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots have no standards.[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots don't have to take bathroom breaks.[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots won't complain if you fart during sex.[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots don't need a dollar to vibrate.[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots can wear your custom-made Jessica Alba face and not call you a creep.[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots know how to party.[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots run on water, so you can pee in their butt and somewhat refuel their cells.[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots won't judge you for being on your period.[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots will try anything.[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots can be muted.[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots can be told to dress up like anime characters and not post how weird you are later on social media.[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots don't usually have B.O..[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots are only a few part switchouts from doubling their potential client base.[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Because robots don't get preggers.[/glow]

[glow=#4400ff,2,300]That's the closest I'll ever be to getting to feel a girl, then.[/glow]

[glow=#4400ff,2,300]Who tried to build a robotic horse so he could f*** it. [/glow]

[glow=#4400ff,2,300]What if you made a doo-doo? Would it be called a mars? You know, because a healthy poo kinda looks like a chocolate bar. Plus it would be in outer space ... sorta. It would slowly fall down to the moon's surface. But the moon is outside of our space. Then again, what is our space? Why must we define something as outer space when we don't really own what we call inner space. And at what point does inner space become outer space? I consider anything more than four feet away from me as outside my space. That means you are all aliens, because you all come from outer space. But I wasn't born in the spot I am sitting right now, so that means I was born in outer space, too. So I am an alien. And technically the exact spot I was born is a few hundred million miles away from here assuming Earth's orbit has remained constant for the past 34 years. But I've read that the universe is slowly expanding, so maybe it's impossible for me to ever occupy the same exact spot I was born in since that spot is now in a location Earth no longer passes through.[/glow]

[glow=#4400ff,2,300]in the butt[/glow]

[glow=#4400ff,2,300]You know the real winners in the end are the one-legged children's hunting league of Big Sandy, Tennessee.[/glow]

[glow=#4400ff,2,300]Does that mean I get to be an asshat and get away with it?[/glow] [glow=#4400ff,2,300]Then today I am officially out as a guy who pees in the sink when the bathroom is occupied.[/glow]

[glow=#4400ff,2,300]Yes. Yes it does. I still love this color, though. Makes me think of radioactive grape juice.[/glow]

I was 17 in '99. So I will party by poorly drawing boobs in the solitude of my room.

Content NSFW.

Flatulax. An alien from Uranus that wears spandex shortpants and crocs. Power walks through various political events spreading the ghosts of long since devoured Taco Bell through high pitched anal trumpeting like some sort of tiny enraged elephant with bad breath. Had a dog named Squirts. Never blames the dog.

I've often belted out the lyrics to "The Real Folk Blues" several times at family get-togethers. My aunt thought it was German. So I must have really botched the lyrics.

stole my cheese

Stop it you buttnose. I need this win.

I can usually kill a thread by posting something serious. Birds actually can fart, but it's nothing like what you would hope it to be.

Meh ... looking up pictures of sparkly donuts has gotten me hungry now ...

Sure. Maybe eating it will give me some sort of super donut powers. Like control over pastry with my mind. I could finally command the army of my dreams.

I've obviously already decided it's alright for me to use an animated gif in my signature without permission. But I should probably ask what is actually alright and what should be avoided in signatures.

People be losing their karmaginity in this thread. That's hot.

Pickle boobs.