crackymckrackin

Spray on antiperspirant is great for keeping your balls dry at work, prevents chafing. It's been in the upper 90s all week here.

Me and the wife went to a jewelry store to buy my mom a birthday present. We thought it would be nice to get her one of those bracelets that have all the kids birth stones. We go up to the young lady behind the counter and tell her that we need a bracelet with three stones, one for my older sister and two for me and my twin brother. She immediately asks, "is she the middle child?" Me: Yes, baby time travel is real. It scared the shit out of mom, but everything came out alright.

Are you saying you would suck a dick for diamonds?

Happy birthday dude. To bad sawd isn't here to say fuck off. I would but that's his schtick.

How I flirt: ass first.

Sex, nicotine, and caffeine. In that order, rince and repeat until desired effect is achieved.

Did you died? Yeah, you died.

Thanks yackie.

Two on me and two on the neighbors.

Thanks lady.

I knew a guy who ate paper.....he died.

I'm still older than you.

Thanks Trek.

Dun.

Thanks inner net son.

Very nondescript, I like it.

Thanks Paate.

Thanks dude.

Sing happy birthday to me please.

Thanks, let's argue about concrete floors for another year.

Thanks poof.

I'm 98.

This, I can get behind this.....sexually.

Thanks. Send cake.