Raptorpat

happy belated birthday @ZeroStralem sorry i was busy

i had cheerios in milk yesterday for the first time in years and (to my knowledge) I never shit my pants after from the milk

happy birthday @JehutyNinja/@Judy rooty tooty fresh and fruity

party party join us join us

learning the distinction between shock sites and legitimate porn, ma

antiquing *explodes*

that is my kite

I remember a couple friends were over when I lived at my mom's in college and we were waiting for something before leaving and one friend decided to show 2g1c to the other friend who had never heard of it. So he has a meltdown watching it for obvious reasons which was all good fun etc., but it was my mom's computer in the living room, so I'm all "shit now I gotta scrub that from the history" and we go on our way after. Apparently I didn't fully delete it because fast forward to next day and I'm on campus and my stepfather calls me and asks me why I was looking at porn on my mom's computer and how to delete it before she finds it. So now I feel obligated to explain over the phone that it's "not really porn, it's a shock site" and what a shock site is because I can't have people thinking I was looking at that for porn purposes. He was apparently not successful either, because fast forward to either that night or the next day and my mom calls me and lectures me about pornography and how it's disrespectful to women and I'm like "MA IT IS A SHOCK SITE THAT BRETT PULLED UP TO PRANK VINNY, I WASNT LOOKING AT PORN ON YOUR COMPUTER IN THE LIVING ROOM"

I bumped into a friend at the park yesterday and he was all "yo you coming to the suicune raid with us?" and I was just "uh sure why not" It was a 1701 and he said 1704 was the hundo, but my phone started bricking so hard that I probably wasted two thirds of my balls because of lag/freezes and it got away.

I don't know that I've made anything yet today

happy birthday @Cidz!

why is @panicattacking you

happy biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirthday @avec

If they won't let you divorce you just start your own church

iunno if that's actually a regional thing more than a rogue-ional thing

Happy birthday @AnimationFan14 and all!

Happy birthday @mochi

Welcome back pokey!

happy birthday @QueenoftheDorks!

perfect vacuum

Happy birthday @VSR!

it was just bacon and egg

what the goddamn heck is that a vacuum cleaner

yep, small private school that kept throwing money away on stupid shit and then on hail mary plays to reverse declining enrollment

my college went bankrupt and closed, hope i don't ever need those transcripts