GuyBeardmane

Now, if I choose "have sex," does that mean I can't do jazz hands anymore?

First time I read the Ben Drowned story, it got me. And then I re-read it in every fucking video game creepypasta after that. HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD

So hey, state neighbor, wanna make out sometime 😘

Like, look at this hairy man cleavage. Let the fappening commence.

I am so angry that I wrote off the "what does the fox say" band and I've missed this Scorpions-level masterpiece ballad.

Pat, why are you stinky. Fix it.

Are you still drunk? Also, ay gurl how YOU doin 😘

I was being sarcastic ❤

I wouldn't call it unfair. The problem is how porn sites categorize and equate things and then recommend new videos to you. You watch one video where a girl has her hands tied behind her, and then the site suggests you watch "TIED WOMAN GANG RAPED BY 37 MASSIVE COCKS" and you have to close the browser. Like, it's really one degree of separation for stuff that crosses the line in a lot of cases.

Ugh that's awful. Luckily I'm not allergic to any meds that I know of, but I know what you're talkin' about with that leg pain.

It's really fun walking through the grocery store and hearing music that you rocked out to in high school on the PA system.

No my feet are gross.

Technically my hip, but it was close enough to the buttocks. My feet started swelling up on Monday and haven't returned to normal. I figured it was gout because I've had experiences with gout before but the swelling would always go down in a day or two, but this has been near a week. So my feet are swollen and in pain and now my butt hurts from the shot. Send me sympathy tiddies

You were workin' as a waitress in a cocktail bar

LEONARD BERNSTEIN

I'm pretty vanilla, so I'll be watching things and there will be times it crosses a line and bothers me and I have to stop jerking off. Also this reminds me of the most hilarious porn clip I've ever seen. Young asian star bent over on a bed while pale white dude with shoulder length greasy black hair is goin to town on her. She's saying all the right things, the "oh yeah, give it to me" and all that, but the look on her face was just one of complete disinterest, like she's there to collect a check. Meanwhile camera pans up and zooms in on dude's face, and he just looks straight into the camera and lets out this metal roar like he's the frontman for an indy deathcore band. I could not stop laughing.

I will date everyone who wants to show me their boobs. Because boobs are life.

12/10 good girl

That's exactly how.

This. Get white girl wasted like whoa.

Is... is it mine?

I've never really thought about until now, but I just left the bathroom at work and dude was straight up heavy grunting, trying to push that poop out. I mean I know I'm a shy pooper, but it really wasn't until I was in the bathroom with someone who makes noises that I thought about volume. I'm like a shit ninja. Poop silently and deadly.

Now now, I have my hands full at times. I will take new employees as long as they pass a background check and can stand and lift 25 pounds without assistance. Gotta expand sometime.