GuyBeardmane

Because I'm fat, you see. But holy crow this chair is amazing. Like, this is the first time in a long time I've been able to sit in an office chair without feeling squeezed by the arm rests (because it's got a wide seat) and also the chair doesn't automatically shrink back down (because it's made to seat people even fatter than me). I have a comfy chair and I'm never going back to regular office furniture.

It really is hard to impersonate Kermit impersonating Samuel L. Jackson.

It's two days late, but worth it.

Random story. I was driving once, I think it was either on a drive across state or a long commute home, but I just started singing "Hallelujah" as Kermit and the rest of the Muppets. Kermit starting with "I heard there was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord, but you don't really care for music do ya" and then a little "no you don't!" Followed up by Rowlf with "It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth" and Fozzie comes in with "The minor fall and the major lift" and then Gonzo with the chickens as back-up "the baffled king composing hallelujah." Animal wraps up with the chorus "HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH HA HA HA" I started laughing so hard I was crying. I think weird things when I'm driving.

Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you."

I'm gonna marry you.

Watching Erasure music videos and realizing they were making Tim and Eric videos before Tim and Eric were.

"I said I wanted extra mayo goddammit."

Spoilers for a 40 year old movie.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ryanhatesthis/a-video-of-a-guy-banging-a-mcchicken-sandwich-trended-and-ev

Related content.

FUCK YOUR SHIT I LOVE THIS GODDAMN SONG

Except her name is Ryoko instead of Tamamo-no-mae.

Comedian. Cool dude. Hair is pretty rad, but not as rad as Guy Beardmane's. DTF.

I'll post a genuine answer this time. I think it's garden-variety low self-esteem based on expectations that were set in childhood by media and adults. Practically all consumable media from the 80s and 90s was about the normal becoming extraordinary, and it's been drilled in our heads that "you can do anything as long as you believe." Even from the mid to late 90s, when everything was sarcastic and counterculture, media was produced to say "being weird makes you awesome and you're gonna be supercool as an adult." Then reality set in and the vast majority of people haven't achieved anything because we were forced into debt from the get-go and now we're just dragging along with our noses above the water. TL;DR: we live in a society.

To quote Weird Al Yankovic, "Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak."

Super Shredder really makes no sense. Like, when Splinter and the turtles were exposed to the ooze they turned into humanoid versions of the animals they were. Same with Tokka and Rahzar. But why would a human wearing cloth and metal turn into Kevin Nash wearing cloth and a different amount of metal?

That you had a $&%@friend That looks like a $&%@friend That I had in February of last $&%@

I'm gonna be CL1N1C4L DEPREXX10N.

I'm mosdef a Bruno (no no no).