Doom Metal Alchemist

Happy birthday! The cake is in reference to your old Thunder Goddess custom rank... figure you're a Thor fan. Oh duh, it's your sn. lol what the fuck is wrong with me.

I had to say it fast to get it.

My resume sucks and no one likes it.

I can't do that either.

Neglect showering for a year, then shove your head in my armpit.

Now that I think about it, I wonder if my dad forcing enemas on me when I was little technically counts as rape in this state.

Oh, that's what a Bingo dabber is.

The lead guitarist in my band I think finished writing the solo to our first song today. It sounded like he wanted to re-record it because he said he "could probably do it better," but I'm guessing he's done composing it. I liked it as well. We were going to continue on, but our bass player had to leave (it's his house that we practice at).

I have mental and social problems and I can eat without weed.

Dude, battered women need love too.

Who's Erica?

"Would you hypothetically fuck me? I'd hypothetically fuck me."

The good news is that you already knew you were moving... even if it wasn't supposed to be that soon.

The grammar was tripping me up because I meant the possessive 's, not the contraction. Now I'm wondering if the possessive form of "who's" with that exact spelling even exists.

I can't shake the feeling that's photoshopped... or "morphed," as I believe is the terminology.

As long as I get a say in who's pussy lip. Or should that be "whose"?

Trigun, I got something to tell you...

My dad swears by Zicam. I've never noticed it helping me much.

Reminds me of one time I called tech support. Me: "I can't connect to the Internet." Tech support: "Did you try emailing us about your issue?" Me: "Nnnnnnnoooooooo.... I can't.... connect..... to the Internet. " Tech support: *snickers to himself* "Sorry, we read from a script." And this was in the days of dial-up, where you open the program to connect to the Internet, and it makes space alien noises, and THEN you open your web browser.

The cartoon or the one with Patrick Warburton?

It's extra terribad because it's mylar! Also the way it's designed it looks like the string's tied to his dick.

I like those cookies. Can't say I agree with the notion they are the backbone of this nation, though. If any type of cookie is the backbone of this nation, it is obviously chocolate chip.

Did it make you feel good? I know women typically hate that but I don't know what men think when it happens to them. I'm so starved for women complimenting my looks I think I'd by flattered.

No.