Doom Metal Alchemist

I bought coke for our president from two administrations ago. Yuck yuck yuck.

I took uber for the first and second time when my brother and I went to a concert in San Francisco earlier this year, and I used them the third and fourth time last Sunday two Sundays ago when I went to a concert in LA. When you are where there's no parking and you don't trust being safe when walking at night, services like Uber and Lyft seem much safer.

I fucking love that scene in Holy Grail where he's Sir Robin's minstrel.

You should've picked up the guitar and and turned your bits into horrible music. (I'm just assuming you don't know how to play guitar or sing very well, thereby making whatever music you make horrible without you even trying. Though for all I know you could be very musically talented)

Oh.

I sleep plenty, I just sleep at odd times. 4 days out of the week, I am working at 3:00 AM. Oddly enough, today is not one of those days.

I actually secretly would like restaurant staff to sing to me on my birthday. But that is only a recent development whereas most of my life I wanted no part of that and now I'm too embarrassed to tell my parents I changed my mind for when they take me out for my birthday.

I don't really have my shit together but I'm still doing better than I ever have been, lol.

Wasn't he a senator or something before he got his talk show?

A-boppity-boopy?

Those should be considered acceptable professional attire. I'm not saying it looks good, but wearing a suit in the summer fucking sucks.

Oh boy, even sterner lectures from nabs about how you're ruining your life and you'd be so much happier making minimum wage at a dive bar.

*Tim Allen confused grunt*

I don't really know much about furries, but even I'm certain that furry is not the same as bestiality. Furry: want to have sex with anthropomorphic animals. Bestiality: Wanting to have (or rather, just have) sex with regular old animals who have no human features or traits.

Here boy, I got a bone for you! 206 bones, actually!

Oh dear god, I hope you got / get REAL used to purposefully looking for that cord whenever you walk into the area where it's laying. People shit on Macs all the time, but when I got my first Mac(book) in 2015, I noticed they did something absolutely genius: The power cord connects to the laptop magnetically. If I trip over the cord, it just extremely easily disconnects from the computer. I have seen all too many times in the past someone trip over a laptop cord and the laptop comes crashing down off a table or desk and goodbye laptop. Though for all I know, maybe non-Macs do this too now. My last Dell (that came with Windows 7) didn't though.

I would argue that anti-Muslim-American sentiment grew exponentially because of 9-11. So many ignorant jackasses think all Muslims are the same as Al-Qaeda and ISIS.

I don't think this will ever be topped as my favorite battle theme: Actually as soon as I posted that, I thought of one that might:

That hair cut needs to fucking die.

Speaking of something that might get you sent to jail... Though I don't know if the child abuse laws I'm aware of are state or federal laws. Eh. Unless you mean "beat her ass" quite literally as in her actual rear-end, and that's it, that's probably fine.

I don't get it. It doesn't help that I have no idea what Psyllium means.

This may sound kind of random, but add Fresno, CA to that.

What did you spend the $400 on? EDIT: Nevermind, I saw the other thread.

If she failed sex, then how does he exist?

Gotta say, I expected this to be about KFC throwing their hat into the chicken sandwich war ring.