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When asked about the role, Smith said, "I was prepping for suicide squad before I got replaced and they said I could use the same outfit, so it's pretty much going to be the same character in a different setting."

"It's a bit on the nose" - Hollywood Reporter "Who were the other options?" - SALON "Why would you announce it before you called me, Jean. I found out when Will Smith slapped the shit out of me. Idk, I guess it's his thing now. Jean, this is the worst time for me to play an assassin." - Alec Baldwin

"I told you I was spanish," Hilaria yelled to an ultrasound tech who she mistook for paparazzi

I've seen it at school and at work. That person goes away for a while, no one ever wants to talk about where, for some reason. They come back the next semester or the next year and everyone pretends like i'm the weird one for staring. I wasn't paying attention before. Shit went down. No one talked about it. So now i'm keeping my eye on this muffukka. Breakdowns seem like these odd hall passes for not being able to handle your shit. It's always when i'm in those strained periods in life that I think about these people and wonder if it's my turn. I always check in with my brain just to make sure, but for some reason it never wants to fold. - "Hey, you think, maybe, this is it?" - "Nah, nigga. Keep it movin'." - "Really? Are you at least going to help?" - "What do you think i'm doing? Your bitch ass is talking about folding and i'm bossin' up for the both of us." - "I meant, I could use some ideas." - "Nah, nigga. You steer the ship, I keep it afloat. That's the division of labour that's got us this far." - "We're in jail." - "That's on you. We're not in the psych ward, that's me holding up my end. Now stop talking to yourself before you screw that up too."

Will Smith will never not be a role model.

Now all that's left is the announcement of his new book. The Smith Path: Open Mind, Open Marriage, Open Hand

The reality of the situation is that Will Smith didn't give a shit about the joke. He just realized no one was watching the Oscars and said, "fuck this! People are going to watch me get my gold statue, goddamit!" And he seized an opportunity.

Louis CK didn't call him an N-word. He uses the N-word in front of him. There is a difference. I don't like that he says the word, but I also don't like how you guys are characterizing him and Gervais. This is a conversation among comedians and it's meant to entertain. Whether it does or not is another story, but i'm not going to make judgments on who they are as people because of it. I would like to see that bit @André Toulon was talking about though.

The real victim in all this is Trevor Noah. Kanye was going to slap him at the Grammys, but now.....he's probably going to shoot him

August kept within the preset guidelines. You can fuck Will's wife, but you can't make a joke at her expense.

You forgot to add the part that goes, "and that's why I switched to women and it's been great ever since"

Dude, you were such an inspiration. I used to bust out the shammgod in high school games.

Turns out, i'm being sued for slander Haha haha, no but seriously I'm in trouble

What about that time you yelled "fifty!"

Have you ever had any good sexual experiences?

Isn't it weird? You have to imagine, if he does come back, it's going to be one of the things he addresses in his speech. Yeah, a speech. What, you thought he was going to talk to everybody one on one? That would take an eternity.

I watched in shock and horror as the two sides destroyed themselves. Climbing over their mounting dead to strike a blow. All in an effort to claim the food rich territory that is my kitchen. The cockroaches have long held this place, but the ants outnumber them. At the height of the battle, both sides are overwhelmed by the futility of war in the shape of a broom. The day belongs to the spiders.

That geico gig should have been mine, but they didn't want to pay me. Next thing you know, they got some foreigner doing my job for half the pay. Thanks Obama.

I will not say happy birthday. I do not want to foist that upon you as tradition dictates. Instead, I will simply acknowledge that it is your birthday and leave it to you to spend it in whatever emotional state you or the alcohol deem appropriate. ...this should be a card...>.>

My parents were expecting a girl when I was born. Does that count?

No creeps, no weirdos, no mamas boys! No libras, no kevins! No zookeepers, no mennonites! We go for one drink, you don't look at me and my friend Cheryl's coming.

it was google that sent me here

or is that just your garden variety low self esteem?

Francy