Mix

Things keep going the way they're going, it's going to be leather made from vegans.

- "Hey, Mix." - "Hey, Doc." - "What is it this time?" - "I signed up to be a product tester for sex toys." - "Is that why you're not sitting down?" - "Yup" - "Why do you keep doing these things?" - "I....honestly don't know............so, radiology?" - "yeah, radiology"

At 4am, its more morning than night and she still came over.....so yeah, macaroni I remember Deon Cole saying "if someone calls you at midnight, its a booty call. If they call you at 3am, you were their last choice." 🤭

(Read in badly imitated British accent) You cannot see the vision. Your outfit, my dear fellow, must answer a question. The most iconic outfits answer questions no one thought to ask. Questions like, what would an amalgam of the Batman and the penguin look like if he were black, Scottish, and suffered from developmental problems.

"I'm going to need verbal confirmation of consent." 🤣 Gotta love the over-correct....my man was livin' foul just a while ago

Don't make the same mistake I did. Get the ivermectin with the human on the box. The box with the horse on it is.....well, it's for horses.

No matter who i'm talking to, I end the conversation with, " 'preciate ya, keep doin' ya thing, stay black" I'm still collecting data, but so far so good

Drunk sex is like going to a theme park when you're a kid, you wanna ride everything and you don't mind that people are taking pictures of you. Sober sex is going to a theme park as an adult, begrudgingly....and not just 'cause you have to pay.

It's like someone picked the worst people on earth for me to work with. The worst of the worst is this idiot that monopolizes every conversation with the most inane takes. Everyone hates him and I think we all secretly wish he would die, but unfortunately that guy is me, so it's like a whole thing.

I don't know if I'd call that shady. That's pretty much common....which is also a rapper's name if it makes you feel any better. Ooh, what other rappers names better describe this: Juvenile Ol' dirty Bastard Drake

That's where LJ lost money. Watching other guys cum while you cum is half the experience. The half you enjoy. The girl's the other half only because you're afraid god is watching. Which is weird because, if he is, he's doing what you're doing, watching guys cum. How come people don't talk more about god watching guys cum. I bet you good money he's jerkin' it too. Now, did I think when I started this rant to nowhere it would end with god jerking it? No. Am I pleased that's how it ended up? Yes.

I don't get it, but I gave you a like anyway because I know it took a lot for you not to hammer me on "women's books" I want you to know I wasn't happy with it either and considered switching it out for "kitchen people's books"

Right....I mean the amount of stress guys went through back then was so insane it was referenced in women's books. I don't know how they dealt with it.

You can't just tell women to be topless when their husband gets home and expect to get your Home Economics book published. At least not in the 1950's. It was a classier time.

I copied that straight out of a Hallmark card. If I am to be chastised for anything, it is trusting the soulless greeting card industry to convey felicitations. I actually bought the card to give to my grandma. Which i'm still going to do because she can't read English. I'll just tell her it's a quote from the bible. It's her favorite book.

Happy birthday It's the same every year maybe switch it up celebrate this one with fear be bewildered or awestruck anything new will do 'cause this happy shit is getting old and so are you

A man yelled this at me on the subway. I ignored him as I try to do with most of existence during morning hours, but now I regret it. I see him now for what he truly was. An old wise man trying to impart the knowledge of the ancestors. If only I could decipher the second part of his message, "fo' I stab yo ass." I am not worthy.

Happy birthday

Phuck Yew Jr.

The gods sent birds to teach man about the beauty of song. Every morning is a concert. Every performance a masterpiece.