Mix

fuck knows they won't even give ya a clue....personally, I think they made it up

fuckers love to say that shit like they're taunting you christ sake, for once I'd like to hear, "hey, no worries, your dreams are going to come true over night"

the pays not so good, but the work is hard

Small Crimes - 5 out of 5

Do you ever think homeless people just look at campers and go, "is this a joke to you?"

I mean, damn, did you hear his voice....It was like bring your kid to work day "Alright, Dustin, lets see you give it a go. This next ones easy. His names Cody Poole and he's twenty eight years old. Make sure you keep reaffirming that. What? What did he do? Well he stabbed a guy and we don't really know why, maybe ask him in between telling people how old he is. What's that? Why do they need to know how old he is? Well our audience is primarily old people in retirement homes who have lost or most likely forgotten where the remote is. Young people don't watch local tv news.....or tv.....we gotta play to our audience and there's nothing those old fucks fear more than dangerous youth. Well, maybe immigrants. or, maybe immigrant youth. hmm, whatcha say? This seems too risky of an undertaking for an eight year old. Don't be a bitch, Dustin"

Reporters are wild dickheads, but damn my man sounded like he answered an ad in the paper to get this job. "uhh, Cody Poole, twenty eight years old" "Why did you do that?" "That was twenty eight year old, Cody Poole..." "This guy...uh...Cody...uh...Poole is known to be in metro jail fifteen times in the last NINE YEARS" FYI - fifteen times in nine years isn't a lot

If you are supposed to be running shit and are royally fucking up, focus on fixing your fuck up. Don't, for fuck's sake, spend a large chunk of time bitching about how i'm making fun of the situation and, by extension, you. 'Cause guess what motherfucker, if people are laughing at my shtick, it just may take their mind off of how shitty things are in the moment. '

I grew up with two sisters so please believe me when I tell you that those weren't secrets

'>.> '>.>

Parents are parents.....as long as they were good to you....it's doesn't matter

What do you mean by mental? Can you give specifics?

Ok, first things first. This is very important. Hide all your drugs very well. Preferably in a safe. Little bastards get into everything. Second, light your stuff on fire and tell the seven year old, "there , beat ya to it. Now what are you gonna do? Nothin', that's what" Give the ten year old an ipad, it'll leave you alone. oh, right, don't burn all the ipads. Forgot to mention that >.>

Did you have to look that up or was it off top?

Oh, yeah, he's obsessed with them, but I don't think that really comes through in the show. Mainly because I watch car shows and know how nuts car guys can come off and what he's putting on the show is car guy light. Have you seen Jay Leno's Garage? As far as the show being an excuse to show off his cars, only two of the cars on the show so far have been his. And a scooter, but I don't think that counts. What I get from the show is not a guy obsessed with cars, which he is, but a guy obsessed with comedy. I've watched each season multiple times and the way he and his guests speak about the topic of comedy, the passion that comes through, is what brings this show alive. The cars are really an afterthought.

From my experience volunteering at the retirement home, I learned that mental illness is only a problem when it's not adorable

Really? I didn't know people have a problem with it....I love that aspect of the show and I'm not what you would characterize as a car guy... and, from my perspective, the cars are like a late night talk show side kick....you love Andy Richter, but you don't even remember him half the time, where as you can quote whole anecdotes and bits the guests of the show would bring up

ahh

how so?

I don't remember this episode, but damn I love that line, "do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dementia"

It was probably why she was charged with which craft