Mix

That sounds dope....but the reality is probably hella tedious.....good luck though

It's alright...if there's a fasting muscle, there's a disappointment muscle.......and mine is on steroids

[sigh] it's uhh....not pronounced that way it was a small dream, but the universe ripped it away just the same

I'll take your word for it >.> though I will be looking up "autophagy" in the hopes that it's pronounced the way I deeply need it to be

Is.....this healthy? 36 pounds seems like a lot

you'll be getting a chicken foot in the mail

y'know I was thinking FedEx, but I typed UPS... >.> <.< Psst....could you supply me with some raw materials for my voodoo ritual....nothing big....just some fingernails, hair, and skin samples from a freshly croaked body

wow.....I thought you worked at UPS '>.> wait.....is this happening at UPS

Switch to clear liquor like vodka. They can't smell it on your breath.

That's a saying right?

I did not know those books got published after he died....that's sad

three words low hanging fruit

The thing is you'd never take it....you'd be suspicious of anything that's too good to be true

fuck knows they won't even give ya a clue....personally, I think they made it up

fuckers love to say that shit like they're taunting you christ sake, for once I'd like to hear, "hey, no worries, your dreams are going to come true over night"

the pays not so good, but the work is hard

Small Crimes - 5 out of 5

Do you ever think homeless people just look at campers and go, "is this a joke to you?"

I mean, damn, did you hear his voice....It was like bring your kid to work day "Alright, Dustin, lets see you give it a go. This next ones easy. His names Cody Poole and he's twenty eight years old. Make sure you keep reaffirming that. What? What did he do? Well he stabbed a guy and we don't really know why, maybe ask him in between telling people how old he is. What's that? Why do they need to know how old he is? Well our audience is primarily old people in retirement homes who have lost or most likely forgotten where the remote is. Young people don't watch local tv news.....or tv.....we gotta play to our audience and there's nothing those old fucks fear more than dangerous youth. Well, maybe immigrants. or, maybe immigrant youth. hmm, whatcha say? This seems too risky of an undertaking for an eight year old. Don't be a bitch, Dustin"

Reporters are wild dickheads, but damn my man sounded like he answered an ad in the paper to get this job. "uhh, Cody Poole, twenty eight years old" "Why did you do that?" "That was twenty eight year old, Cody Poole..." "This guy...uh...Cody...uh...Poole is known to be in metro jail fifteen times in the last NINE YEARS" FYI - fifteen times in nine years isn't a lot

If you are supposed to be running shit and are royally fucking up, focus on fixing your fuck up. Don't, for fuck's sake, spend a large chunk of time bitching about how i'm making fun of the situation and, by extension, you. 'Cause guess what motherfucker, if people are laughing at my shtick, it just may take their mind off of how shitty things are in the moment. '

I grew up with two sisters so please believe me when I tell you that those weren't secrets