little_girl_lost

Oh The Places You'll Go . . . When you need to score cocaine

Somewhat related: You know that state farm commercial that features the song "A Bushel and a Peck"? I like to play that commercial but muted and with the song "Rocky" by Austin Roberts playing, but cued up from the part "Found an old gray house . . ." it synchs up really well

i'd buy it and tell other people not to

i'm pantsless under an electric blanket it doesn't get any better

joke's on them, the playground was in my mind the whole time

https://nypost.com/2017/10/26/man-enjoys-life-after-losing-3-foot-long-penis/

Which way you goin, billy? Can I go too?

he couldn't keep his pretty head low

Come back to me

i'm legit jealous of pet beds, so much so that I've thought of getting a large dog bed just to nap in

they got commercials for pop tarts now that say they have more frosting, I call bullshit on that because the net weight is exactly the same on the previous packages and the ones advertising "now more frosting", both in ounces and in grams

I bought a cake today, the grocery store had cute little round cakes for $5 and I couldn't resist

in my store, the gold four lokos are the most popular

its just Italian meatballs, marinara sauce, cheese and Italian seasoning with garlic bread on the side, almost like a deconstructed meatball sub

i'm making meatballs, want some?

Applebees - 0/5 ?

i take pride in my vhs collection

I sell coffee, the vanilla cream is very popular, there's also a cookies n cream, and a hazelnut but the hazelnut smells like popcorn when I pour it out

casinos used to offer bonuses for getting the ace of spades and a black suited jack, casinos don't do this anymore, but the name stuck

because you touch yourself at night

One extremely flat one, and sometimes I push it aside and don't use it

i don't wish to be a virgin again, but sometimes I wish I could erase my favourite films from my memory so I can enjoy them for the first time again

i once stabbed a tv