little_girl_lost

there is a bomb strapped to your chest, if you don't crochet 1 flower every hour, the bomb will go off

RENO SMASH!!

not gonna lie, I was looking around my supermarket for a good few minutes looking for a nice wedge of asiago

Actual name: Harley nicknames, Harles, Harles Barkley, Harles Nelson Reilly

in my room right now I have juicy drop gummies, Hershey kisses, nerds rope, Swedish fish, Albanese gummy bears, and two mystery candy bags from rocket fizz oh yea, and a pickle rick pickle-flavoured chocolate bar, but that's just a shelf item

I got a bag of jalapeno cheddar chips once that taste just like red hot chips I don't think the chip company knew there is a difference between jalapeno and red hot flavourings

quick, get someone to pee on your face

Solo lemon party

title has three Ps

when I was in high school I would stop for fast food, and working at the burger joint would be the girl or guy who was a real asshole in school, having to be subservient to customers made me smirk

Garfield is dead https://ceebeegeebee.wordpress.com/2007/08/28/garfield-is-dead/

you can build stink bug traps with an empty 2 liter bottle and a flashing light and I think some syrup pf some kind, look it up, they are supposed to be really effective

yesterday at work, a man yelled over to me from the cappuccino machine "hey, this says 'hot cocoa' is that the same as hot chocolate?"

The word hysteria comes from the Greek word for uterus, suggesting that only females suffer from the disorder just thought the sexist history of the word was interesting

Color Me Disappointedd

Adventure . . . Day?

Oh The Places You'll Go . . . When you need to score cocaine

Somewhat related: You know that state farm commercial that features the song "A Bushel and a Peck"? I like to play that commercial but muted and with the song "Rocky" by Austin Roberts playing, but cued up from the part "Found an old gray house . . ." it synchs up really well

i'd buy it and tell other people not to

i'm pantsless under an electric blanket it doesn't get any better

joke's on them, the playground was in my mind the whole time

https://nypost.com/2017/10/26/man-enjoys-life-after-losing-3-foot-long-penis/