little_girl_lost

quick, get someone to pee on your face

Solo lemon party

title has three Ps

when I was in high school I would stop for fast food, and working at the burger joint would be the girl or guy who was a real asshole in school, having to be subservient to customers made me smirk

Garfield is dead https://ceebeegeebee.wordpress.com/2007/08/28/garfield-is-dead/

you can build stink bug traps with an empty 2 liter bottle and a flashing light and I think some syrup pf some kind, look it up, they are supposed to be really effective

yesterday at work, a man yelled over to me from the cappuccino machine "hey, this says 'hot cocoa' is that the same as hot chocolate?"

The word hysteria comes from the Greek word for uterus, suggesting that only females suffer from the disorder just thought the sexist history of the word was interesting

Color Me Disappointedd

Adventure . . . Day?

Oh The Places You'll Go . . . When you need to score cocaine

Somewhat related: You know that state farm commercial that features the song "A Bushel and a Peck"? I like to play that commercial but muted and with the song "Rocky" by Austin Roberts playing, but cued up from the part "Found an old gray house . . ." it synchs up really well

i'd buy it and tell other people not to

i'm pantsless under an electric blanket it doesn't get any better

joke's on them, the playground was in my mind the whole time

https://nypost.com/2017/10/26/man-enjoys-life-after-losing-3-foot-long-penis/

Which way you goin, billy? Can I go too?

he couldn't keep his pretty head low

Come back to me

i'm legit jealous of pet beds, so much so that I've thought of getting a large dog bed just to nap in

they got commercials for pop tarts now that say they have more frosting, I call bullshit on that because the net weight is exactly the same on the previous packages and the ones advertising "now more frosting", both in ounces and in grams

I bought a cake today, the grocery store had cute little round cakes for $5 and I couldn't resist