Houdini Splicer

I HATE shadow people. I used to dream about them when I was little. They would come out of the closet in the back room of the house, grab me, and try to take me to the closet. I KNEW if I reached the closet, I would be transported somewhere where I would be tortured and killed. I remember trying to scream for my parents, but no sound came out. I would usually wake up as we were going into the closet. They had no discernable features, they were solid black, darker than darkness itself, but they were thin. And completely silent. I thought I had finally gotten over them, then The Twilight Zone (in the '80's) had an episode called "The Shadow Man". Son of a bitch. I haven't dreamed of them in a long time, but I'm not scared of them any more, either.

RIP, Adam West.

She's a fucking pod person. Prepare the torches and pitchforks!

it could have been Rumplestiltskin, but I have it on good authority it was his older, even bigger of an asshole brother, Wrinkledforeskin. You should check inside your air vents, too, 'cause the fucker likes to take shits in there.

Beautiful... and sad.

HATE that shit. "It only takes a second or two to use your foot to raise the lid up, you nasty, lazy, motherfucker" - actual words said to a bastard that used the toilet right before me one time. He didn't say anything; he just looked at me and left out. "Yeah? Well, fuck you, too!"

Hello, Sam. I am Tony.

I have several different brands of boxer briefs, and they're all comfy. I don't know what to tell you.

The guy at the top of the page reminds me of David Letterman.

RIP

Sure, but with the added stipulation that any time he gets too creepy, everybody on here gets to zap him (at least once) with a taser. And, he has to sign a waiver agreeing to such, without any sort of retaliation (legal or otherwise) on his part, before he can be allowed to post again. So let it be written. So let it be done.

No you didn't, dammit. You didn't buy me flowers, either. And where's that $20 you owe me, buttwipe.

Is it because we're really children inhabiting adult bodies?

10/10.

You forgot to mention throwing a chair. Besides that... 8/10. *golf claps*

RIP, Sir Roger.

Congratulations.

You could always name your hand Katherine Waterston, because that is the closest you will ever get.

Oh, look. The son of the Creeper showed up to pay his respects. How nice.

I laughed at that way more than I should.

Yes. It is a vicious, never-ending circle.