[classic swim]

Uses time travel to sneak into Orson Welles’ hotel room and shoot paintballs at him while he’s asleep in the nude.

Sometimes laying in bed I just wanna think so hard that my thoughts of all existence being bullshit suddenly stops the script and breaks our reality. Like an outer inter-dimensional voice saying “fuck, he figured it out” and then everything can pause into darkness so no further harm is felt.

Why’re you rubbing the tip of your meat cigar against the toilet seat?

Likes shaking everyone’s hand at the stadium when the game is over.

This still exists and will premiere later tonight. Loved the artstyle but cared for almost nothing else during the first preview months back. Hoping it will be worthwhile.

Funny thing about RDR1 when it released was not being used to wildlife/scripted animals of any kind in a open world shooter, no less. A mountain lion jumped at me in a spit-second when I was hopping along train tracks (stock sound effect included) and I screamed like I was legit being murdered in my house.

In our hearts forever.

Hangs out at the airport just to tell everyone waiting on their flight to fuck off.

Over a full goddamn month later - - I’ve been promised an unlocked copy of IV is forever in marriage to my Social Club account... on the Launcher. Now if I log into the actual Social Club site, it’s none the wiser. But I didn’t think the Activation Code would even work at all. Absolutely nothing from today’s experience that my Windows 7 laptop could not have handled from the get go. It’s seemingly too stubborn to update OS at all, so I don’t know. Go to Best Buy and get someone to work their geek magic? Or they’ll point me to a six thousand dollar PC that can do every single fucking thing my device does except run Rockstar fucking Launcher apparently??

Went into a LensCrafters the other day and couldn’t stop calling people dicks.

When you go to the gorilla exhibit, you should always pound on your chest very passionately and right up against the glass where they can see you. They love the shit outta that.

Poor Jman.

Romney is the first republican on this list. Sanders is #12 on this list. The dick in muh hoo boy is #5 on this list. Charlamagne tha God is number #Hoohoo on this list.

I’ve listened to hundreds of DVD commentaries and they’re still as useless as most podcasts. I’d bat for more to be preserved but yeah a good % of them suck ass. Don’t miss the run of the mill douchey “huh-ha and if you’re wasting time listening to this...” yep I pressed the feature on my remote! Way to reinforce how boring you are by giggling over someone else’s unoriginal bit.

Left eye’s itched like a motherfucker all day.

It was kinda something back in El Salvador. But Americans had no excuse and especially not near the start of the new millennium.

Thinks that Charlie The Tuna from StarKist is an asswipe.

Sopranos eps 1. Cold Cuts 2. All Due Respect 3. Two Tonys 4. Pilot 5. ...To Save us All From Satan’s Power + Funhouse 6. Whoever Did This 7. Pine Barrens 8. Soprano Home Movies 9. Commendatori 10. Remember When + Where’s Johnny

This event and the general feel of the place around the time made it the first summer of the ‘20s that didn’t kinda blow.

Wasn’t my goal to get banned from another business. Just don’t fucking test me with your bullshit.