[classic swim]

Loved ones and eh relatives couldn’t make it to the US yet (or never did at all) so that made Skype’s crappy web cam seem cutting edge for a minute. It’s weird that and Xbox Live was feasible to me and not everyone putting surveillance cameras in their living rooms.

No I don’t wanna put ranch on any dish, the hell makes you think I’d wanna dip my wings in ranch?

Tackled a running lifeguard into the pool as he was about to save someone.

Told the Sonic roller-skating lady he wanted funyons and tossed the onion rings at the back of her neck.

He’s the federal dine-and-dashing inspector staking out an Olive Garden.

Tacos. Pie for dessert.

Only he can prevent wildfires.

Beverly Hills Cop II. 6/10 Meh. Now I remember what I’ve been wary about with the series name. Script gets draining at times. And maybe it’s from watching the first two in a row, but the soundtrack goes from pure uniqueness to the sequel just playing the same beat from the original a trillion fucking times because?

I’ve steered clear from Beverly Hills Cop for over ten years worrying it’d be derpy, but IFC is airing it and nah it’s still fucking golden. I think highly of early Miami Vice and it’s on par. Jonathan Banks must be wearing shoes to make him tall or some shit.

I fuck the farts outta Casey Anthony. Just pelvic thrust FRRT FRRT FRRT FRRT! So dirty and meaty and unbathed ass. Her shit air tickles my pp like a pool jet. But then I gently drop her off on the side of the highway because actions still have consequences.

Google, it is a joke for you to be so adamant on how not safe you are, and I’ve wasted so much time sitting down only for you to put my shit through fucking Windows Movie Maker. What is the exceeding playback bullshit even for, anyway? What are you failing at monetizing?

Brings porridge to eat at the library and screams at the receptionist’s head.

Screamed at all the kids to shut the fuck up on the scariest Six Flags roller coaster.

Watched the Six Flags guy Mr. Six rub one out while he made silly faces.

Wants to tackle someone at Six Flags.