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How do you eat fast food!?


SwimOdin

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So: 

  1. I put it in my mouth. Sometimes I chew if i feel like it. 
  2. I scarf it down my throat and then wait for 30-120 minutes on average, sometimes with intermittent stomach pains. 
  3. I then expel it from my bowels, sometimes in an explosive manner, back from whence it came.

Repeat step 2-3 as many times necessary. 

But in all seriousness, I go through periods where I will get fast food once or twice a week. I just like it as a guilty pleasure. It is usually 80-20 odds in favor of me not getting gastrointestinal pains and sickness, but when I do, it is bad haha the only one that never seems to hurt me is Taco Bell. 

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8 minutes ago, SwimOdin said:

Honestly, yeah. Taco Bell doesn’t mess with me too bad. It’s anything really greasy that does it, like a burger.

I have noticed for me, it is usually when I eat anything really greasy or a lot of grain. So pizza almost always kills my stomach, but not always. I still love it and eat it though haha I just like foods so much, so I deal with the pains 

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2 minutes ago, atomicinumatt said:

I have noticed for me, it is usually when I eat anything really greasy or a lot of grain. So pizza almost always kills my stomach, but not always. I still love it and eat it though haha I just like foods so much, so I deal with the pains 

Yeah, it was pizza for me. QT pizza. I have only myself to blame.

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Chewable Pepto. Both before and after having something that might completely set me off if I have to eat in public. I prefer to drag my occasional fast food home like a cave man and deal with the consequences in private but sometimes that can't happen. If I travel anywhere, I usually have a frickin' 30 pack of them bouncing around in whatever bag I'm dragging. 

Not a trick question - have you tried 5 Guys? I finally got around to trying them and I did NOT get sick. I tried a second time and still did not get sick. Even with lettuce on the burger and their overflowing bag of soggy fries. They make all their greasy crap with peanut oil and I'm wondering if that breaks down in such a way that my insides consider it food not foe. 

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8 hours ago, SwimOdin said:

How do you eat fast food without gastrointestinal distress? I know I’m a special breed of fucked up digestion, but are there people here who can eat it no problem? If so, what’s your secret?

By avoiding the stuff my gut can't handle - raw onion or garlic, powdered onion or garlic, pretty much any fruit, sweet corn, sweet peas, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera...

If you haven't done so already, look into a low fodmap diet.  Essentially you avoid stuff that sets you off for awhile, then slowly add some of those things back in.

If you've got the money, look into FoodMarble.  I bought one when they hadn't even come out and it helped me find out what foods created a problem.

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3 hours ago, GunStarHero said:

The only fast food place that gives me any issues whatsoever is McDonald's. I get sick every time I eat there, without fail. So I just avoid them since I can go literally anywhere else. 

My daughter loves McDonald's and I hope she grows out of it but we stopped by the other day and normally I don't get shit but I have fond memories of the big Mac and they were BOGO. 

Most disgusting thing I've tried to consume in years....I have no clue why I loved these things

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5 hours ago, André Toulon said:

My daughter loves McDonald's and I hope she grows out of it but we stopped by the other day and normally I don't get shit but I have fond memories of the big Mac and they were BOGO. 

Most disgusting thing I've tried to consume in years....I have no clue why I loved these things

I used to like Mcds like 20-30 years ago when I was a kid, but they honestly went down hill. I do not know if they changed their ingredients or cut costs or whatever, but most of their food tastes like ass these days. And not the ass that I love to eat either.. 

I rarely ever go there anymore. 

It is sad though, because I too have fond memories of enjoying them when I was a little kid

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9 hours ago, André Toulon said:

My daughter loves McDonald's and I hope she grows out of it but we stopped by the other day and normally I don't get shit but I have fond memories of the big Mac and they were BOGO. 

Most disgusting thing I've tried to consume in years....I have no clue why I loved these things

McDonald’s is VERY hit-or-miss. I can go there one day and get a pretty decent sandwich. Next time I go, I get the exact same thing and it tastes like complete shit.

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I go through periods of pee out the butt for weeks at a time then suddenly I get regular and that’s that. I’m a binge over-eater. Somehow vegetable medleys do not sit well with my gut but I can put away an arbys sandwich pretty quick. Also I think I’m inhabiting a body that has ridiculous resistance to capsaicin and vinegar. Like I could probably drink a blast of mace and chase it with a twenty year red wine that had been exposed to the elements for most of its life. That second part actually happened.

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18 hours ago, GunStarHero said:

The only fast food place that gives me any issues whatsoever is McDonald's. I get sick every time I eat there, without fail. So I just avoid them since I can go literally anywhere else. 

I don't often have problems with McDs which is good because it's usually one of the few places in the airport that I know exists and I can get something from. 

That and coffee. 

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12 minutes ago, Farful said:

I go through periods of pee out the butt for weeks at a time then suddenly I get regular and that’s that. I’m a binge over-eater. Somehow vegetable medleys do not sit well with my gut but I can put away an arbys sandwich pretty quick. Also I think I’m inhabiting a body that has ridiculous resistance to capsaicin and vinegar. Like I could probably drink a blast of mace and chase it with a twenty year red wine that had been exposed to the elements for most of its life. That second part actually happened.

I cannot eat Arby's without almost always getting butt sick, yet I cannot stop eating there every once in a while. 

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19 minutes ago, Farful said:

I go through periods of pee out the butt for weeks at a time then suddenly I get regular and that’s that. I’m a binge over-eater. Somehow vegetable medleys do not sit well with my gut but I can put away an arbys sandwich pretty quick. Also I think I’m inhabiting a body that has ridiculous resistance to capsaicin and vinegar. Like I could probably drink a blast of mace and chase it with a twenty year red wine that had been exposed to the elements for most of its life. That second part actually happened.

Best Choke Neck GIFs | Gfycat

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17 minutes ago, katt_goddess said:

I don't often have problems with McDs which is good because it's usually one of the few places in the airport that I know exists and I can get something from. 

That and coffee. 

McDs coffee in the morning. So much yes.

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1 minute ago, Farful said:

I'm flawed. FML

I'd really need more context to infer something like that...I mean...someone clearly wronged that wine.  If you are that someone and then proceeded to drink it...well...then I might have to agree with you😄 

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43 minutes ago, Vela said:

The deadly nipple tweak.

Oh yeah. also i can't tell by looking but are you straifing? oh that's clearly skylight

Spoiler

being low as dirt, people taking away what's important to me

 

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29 minutes ago, Farful said:

McDs coffee in the morning. So much yes.

No, I don't care for that stuff unless there's at least 6 creams and 6 sugars in it. It's swill otherwise.

I'm talking about the airport offerings which at least have Starbucks, Caribou, and Dunkin. 

 

Also, don't hit on Vela. She doesn't know who you are and you will just end up getting waffled again for being weird.

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3 minutes ago, katt_goddess said:

 

 

Also, don't hit on Vela. She doesn't know who you are and you will just end up getting waffled again for being weird.

🖤

😅No worries, everybody here's guilty until proven otherwise, right?

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10 minutes ago, katt_goddess said:

 

I'm talking about the airport offerings which at least have Starbucks, Caribou, and Dunkin. 

Dunkins is on just about every corner where I live. Probably because I'm close to where it originated, Massachusetts.  Who goes to McDs for coffee? 😂

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I have a very tolerable stomach. Well, it used to be even more tolerable, but it's gotten to be a little weaker with age. I can't handle spicy foods like I used to. No more Spicy Garlic wings from Buffalo Wild Wings for me anymore.

Also, GO FROGS!

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54 minutes ago, Vela said:

But sometimes right?

 

THE WHOLE TIME I THOUGHT THEY WERE TOADS!!!!

They're lizards, actually. Lizards that can "spit" (more like shoot) blood out of their eyes as a defense mechanism. Pretty rad, right?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_horned_lizard

And yes, as long as I don't get them tossed "extra wet" (that is, with extra Spicy Garlic sauce on them), I'm good.

Edited by hornedlizardman
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