Jump to content
UnevenEdge
Sign in to follow this  
BlackNoir

I don't understand how the story of Job isn't a fucking Christianity deterant

Recommended Posts

So, God and the Devil are burning some Chiba and the Devil goes....See, that dude Job, he only likes you because you won't let me fuck with him...God, high a girraff puusy goes, Bruh....Dude is my bitch, do whatever you want....He ain't gonna leave me, do whatever but don't kill him...that's my bottombitch. So the Devil was like, fuck it...go hard or go to hell.....Kills this dude's family, his livestock, AND the goddamned servants...WTF did they do?  

Job still praised the lord.....So the Devil was like "damn, this dude is blessing whipped for real"  so he ruins his crops and gives him sores all over his body....His wife is like, "fuck that clown in the sky that never visits, stop sucking his dick" and the pussy is like "No, he is a good man, he's just a little troubled, I can fix him...he just needs love and loyalty"

So his friends sow up with some painkillers, and these smug biblethumping shitlords say "nah bro, you pissed god off...what did you do"  and he's like "nothing bro...I ain't did shit".....And they are like, whatever dude, he didn't kill all my kids and leave me with my bitch of a wife, so do you.

Now, the story I heard in chuch is that after the experiment was over, god returned all his shit....Well, that part ain't in the bible....So god, the entity that you've never seen, is such a lame ass dude that his homie can come over, point you out and he's just like "lol, fuck him up"

I dunno...I just can't blindly follow someone that fucking diabolical on a goddamned whim.

 

  • Thanks 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, Sawdamizer said:

The extent of my knowledge of Job... is what was included in Mission Impossible

I didn't know Will Arnett's character on AD's name was spelled Gob....wtaf,

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i like the south park episode of this being explained to kyle after seriously injuring his anus, to which he needed his cream and his butt pillow. 

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...