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Shit's A Mess, Y'all


jezebelthenun

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Just now, Poof said:

Get the dialysis ones on the transplant list asap!

That's my dad.  He's in the hospital now.  His kidneys were at 5% and he almost died.  Not sure what next steps are yet.  He's almost 70, so I'm not sure they'll even list him.  Might be dialysis 3x a week forever.  His cancer could be back, too.  A lot to unpack with him.

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2 minutes ago, jezebelthenun said:

That's my dad.  He's in the hospital now.  His kidneys were at 5% and he almost died.  Not sure what next steps are yet.  He's almost 70, so I'm not sure they'll even list him.  Might be dialysis 3x a week forever.  His cancer could be back, too.  A lot to unpack with him.

My parents are in their 70s and gonna die soon. Theyre so unhealthy

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Just now, Poof said:

My parents are in their 70s and gonna die soon. Theyre so unhealthy

My mom passed away last year.  She was hypoxic, had a vent tube and feeding tube placed.  She was still laughing and joking on paper and asking about my kids when I flew out to see her.  After her procedures, she was moved to a hospice and went catatonic.  Scans found lung cancer.  After a couple of weeks total, we took her off of the vents and I held her hand and sang to her when she went.  She was a month away from turning 62. I still haven't cried.  I'm not good with death and grief.  

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16 hours ago, jezebelthenun said:

Like, freals.  I got people in hospitals on dialysis, people who belong in mental hospitals but aren't, a sprained wrist, people who know people who belong in mental hospitals but aren't...

*Takes 2 extra Prozac*

 

Sorry to hear that.

I can sympathize, I buried my Aunt on Friday.

I hope things improve for you soon, try to focus on the positive.

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Updates because I hunger for an outlet.

Dad's bladder is 100% cancer now.  He likely needs it removed.  No word on spread. His kidneys are pretty weak.  He had surgery today to put tubes in them to bypass the bladder.  Who knows how long he's got.  It really sucks.

Child Welfare came today because someone called and reported my daughter as dangerous.  They aren't wrong.  I've been physically attacked and injured several times, and she's been hospitalized several times in the last year and placed on several 51/50 holds.  She's 12, guys.  She's been violent since she was 2.  The house is full of holes in walls from her losing it and kicking them.  We've tried EVERYTHING.  Meds, therapy, specialized schools, inpatient treatment...  She's also 5' tall and strong as fuck.  If she attacks her 4 year old brother, he's toast. We're looking into high security residential mental health.  She'll probably be shipped out of state.  To say I feel like a failure is an understatement, but we need to have a chance to be a family with the boys, and it's not possible if she lives here.

Um, I ate some M&Ms today, so I've got that going for me.

 

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On 8/23/2020 at 11:36 PM, jezebelthenun said:

I guess it's subjective.  I don't talk too much about personal family stuff online, but it's been a really hard few years.  

I don't have that kind of stuff, so it's easy for me. My life is enough bullshit without family.

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4 hours ago, RainyDayJizz#35 said:

Those last three don't make sense to me without saying something to you first. With her violence lately I wonder about a lot of things cause it really is disturbing. Welp, I'm gonna play video games and think about what to eat today, which are my most difficult decisions today.

The therapist might be obligated to report my injuries, though.  Could be the school district, too.  It's wasn't the advocate or ABA confirmed.

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13 hours ago, jezebelthenun said:

The therapist might be obligated to report my injuries, though.  Could be the school district, too.  It's wasn't the advocate or ABA confirmed.

Therapist makes the most sense now because I can see her bragging about hurting you and the emotions behind parenting that are mind boggling. You are no worse a person for protecting the rest of your family because the only other way to do so is to create a prison cell in your house. It's an unreal dilemma. And the only solution is fucking sad and has monumental potential to make her worse. But who's to say she wouldn't become worse anyway, and who's to say an institution is not what she needs. 

But really, there is not a definition of her, liek, lots of shit I don't want to say here. The dog comparison disturbed me later on, cause dogs are gross and dirty and we dont like them. 

No person can prepare for or mitigate something like this. Hopefully what happens right now helps. How's your 2020? Let's compare how recently we slit our wrists.

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Sigh....So it's gonna have to be me, huh....

Have you tried beating her ass....Granted, I don't whoop my kids, but they aren't violent, but I am a child of the ass whuppin' and I can tell you, I still don't want none of that 5'3 woman.....

But it may be too late to start now.

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12 minutes ago, Radical Left said:

Sigh....So it's gonna have to be me, huh....

Have you tried beating her ass....Granted, I don't whoop my kids, but they aren't violent, but I am a child of the ass whuppin' and I can tell you, I still don't want none of that 5'3 woman.....

But it may be too late to start now.

It's far beyond an ass whooping might change her attitude. It's truly disturbing at times. Have you heard of a year old child screaming and shaking the crib bars to the point she got a bed to create peace? You wonder about the awareness of this child...

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10 hours ago, Radical Left said:

Sigh....So it's gonna have to be me, huh....

Have you tried beating her ass....Granted, I don't whoop my kids, but they aren't violent, but I am a child of the ass whuppin' and I can tell you, I still don't want none of that 5'3 woman.....

But it may be too late to start now.

I don't know how good corporal punishment works in general for similar children, but when you're dealing with triggers as opposed to a rational response, punishment usually has a destructive result.

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1 hour ago, Raptorpat said:

Has she ever been able to articulate her emotions to the therapist or otherwise to shed possible light on triggers etc?

Like I assume it's not a blind rage, where a switch flips. Or is that a wrong assumption?

It's generally a switch, with minor perceived triggers.  It's always quick onset, high intensity, long duration, no self-regulation.  When she talks to therapists, she basically pays no attention to their instructions, then reads them recipes for 30 minutes.

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11 hours ago, jezebelthenun said:

It's generally a switch, with minor perceived triggers.  It's always quick onset, high intensity, long duration, no self-regulation.  When she talks to therapists, she basically pays no attention to their instructions, then reads them recipes for 30 minutes.

That sounds like her. She is too god damn smart, and I'm lucky I have reverence to her. The things my mind does. That one day when I moved Ty because I could see something about to happen and not much later she's screaming she wishes someone would intervene in the fight she started with you. I knew I had to sit and look at her. The degree to which she thinks she's better than everyone is frightening. It really is all humans are beneath her, I really do feel lucky being on that next level in this scenario. It's a Bronx tale here. I'd rather be feared than loved, although the two seem equivalent to her.

Her comparing your son to a dog really bugged me later on, since we trash dogs. It's crazy to know your dad's idiotic behavior is the least of your worries. 

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On 8/28/2020 at 2:57 AM, RainyDayJizz#35 said:

It's crazy to know your dad's idiotic behavior is the least of your worries

Well, he pretty much ruined any chances of a normal life if he survived this.  He was transferred to a different hospital today.  The cancer is metastatic, but they don't know the extent, yet.  He still needs a cystectomy since his bladder is 100% cancer.  If he had gone to more than one fucking chemo treatment after the last cancer bout, he'd be in great health.  Instead, his kidneys are failing, which caused his heart to work too hard, so he's now got heart issues, and his cancer is possibly all over his insides.  PLUS, I can't visit him if he takes a turn.  Hospital won't allow me in.  Not the least of my worries, really, just less in my face, I guess.

Got some good video of Jules trying to knock furniture over, and slapping my phone out of my hands and screaming today.

I like turtles.

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