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UnevenEdge

I need to stop self depreciating


That_One_Guy

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Self-deprecating is fine if you're funny about it.  I assume you're funny about it?  If it's not funny, it comes off as fishing for compliments.  I know that to you it feels like hitting yourself before someone else does because you can control when and how hard you hit, but that's a red flag for women, since we're expected to prop up men's egos all the time anyway, so coming off at the start like you need to be constantly bubble-wrapped in reassurances to keep you emotionally protected isn't an exciting prospect.

If it is, that's a red flag for you to run away from a controlling, manipulative abuser who's itching to pull all those psychological levers you just pointed out.

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14 minutes ago, Gina Szanboti said:

Self-deprecating is fine if you're funny about it.  I assume you're funny about it?  If it's not funny, it comes off as fishing for compliments.  I know that to you it feels like hitting yourself before someone else does because you can control when and how hard you hit, but that's a red flag for women, since we're expected to prop up men's egos all the time anyway, so coming off at the start like you need to be constantly bubble-wrapped in reassurances to keep you emotionally protected isn't an exciting prospect.

If it is, that's a red flag for you to run away from a controlling, manipulative abuser who's itching to pull all those psychological levers you just pointed out.

It's a defense mechanism from when I used to get bullied. It's usually funny but sometimes I just do it too much without realizing

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I get that.  I'm just saying that if it comes off as wry or slightly cynical, it's probably ok, and can even be endearing, but if it's the sort that practically requires a counter-response (oh, no, you're not too ____, you're fine!), that gets old real quick.  And like I said, you might want to be careful about what sort of levers you give other people over you until you know they can be trusted with knowing about them.  Just that thought ought to help curb your impulse to beat yourself up. ;)

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18 hours ago, PhilosipherStoned said:

There's other ways to moisten a vagina besides inflating your character. Unless you like them triflin' hoes I find honesty is a good policy. 🤨

Please share with us the secrets of moistening vaginas. 

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5 hours ago, Radical Left said:

Dear god...It was me.  Maybe I am actually crazy....Maybe my Tyler durden is planting memories...WTF.

 

==.png

Maybe the real self depreciation was the friends we made along the way.

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