GuyBeardmane Posted August 16, 2019 Posted August 16, 2019 I've never really thought about until now, but I just left the bathroom at work and dude was straight up heavy grunting, trying to push that poop out. I mean I know I'm a shy pooper, but it really wasn't until I was in the bathroom with someone who makes noises that I thought about volume. I'm like a shit ninja. Poop silently and deadly. 1 3
scoobdog Posted August 16, 2019 Posted August 16, 2019 Yeah, that noise making sometimes sounds like the guy is putting a show for anyone in earshot. Like, it's a motivational thing - get you all inspired to destroy the toilet or something. 3
Sir Teddybar Gut Fullung Posted August 17, 2019 Posted August 17, 2019 (edited) 13 hours ago, Admin_Raptorpat said: you are the *phantom pooper* I think we have a new supervillain. Edited August 17, 2019 by Sir Teddybar Gut Fullung
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted August 17, 2019 Posted August 17, 2019 I'm quiet in that I typically don't grunt or breathe heavily too much. My butt is loud as fuck though. 2
PhilosipherStoned Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 If only that was something you could put on a resume. Wait is it?
molarbear Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 On 8/16/2019 at 3:38 PM, GuyBeardmane said: I've never really thought about until now, but I just left the bathroom at work and dude was straight up heavy grunting, trying to push that poop out. I mean I know I'm a shy pooper, but it really wasn't until I was in the bathroom with someone who makes noises that I thought about volume. I'm like a shit ninja. Poop silently and deadly. I only poop when I tweet
lupin_bebop Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 Yeah. Most people are quiet poopers. You think you are. Just wait until you have you release a shit Kraken so fierce that your colon and sphincter are forced to do epic battle just to get that fucker to drop a few inches through that peephole you call an anus. You know which one I’m talking about......that fucking double Baconator, taco night queso, lasagna bake shit. You know the one that builds up so much, you start asking for a fucking gay priest to perform an anal exorcism on you just to widen you up to prepare for the coming fury. THAT one.....you’re fucking grunting to pound that out. I don’t care how quiet of a person you are. 3
fuggstop Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 8 minutes ago, lupin_bebop said: Yeah. Most people are quiet poopers. You think you are. Just wait until you have you release a shit Kraken so fierce that your colon and sphincter are forced to do epic battle just to get that fucker to drop a few inches through that peephole you call an anus. You know which one I’m talking about......that fucking double Baconator, taco night queso, lasagna bake shit. You know the one that builds up so much, you start asking for a fucking gay priest to perform an anal exorcism on you just to widen you up to prepare for the coming fury. THAT one.....you’re fucking grunting to pound that out. I don’t care how quiet of a person you are. Maybe you wouldn't have epic shits like this if you didnt eat like an elephant.
lupin_bebop Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 3 minutes ago, fuggstop said: Maybe you wouldn't have epic shits like this if you didnt eat like an elephant. Oh look at that, a woman who doesn’t know any better.....What are the odds?
Still Me Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 I’m a quiet pooper too...but I also have a sensitive stomach...sometimes I just eat something that doesn’t sit right and it’s almost damn immediate that I have to exercise a demon...like chipotle is a good example...I can’t leave the restaurant...I immediately gotta blow the lid off the porcelain god... as for shy pooping I try not to drop or push until someone flushes...that way they don’t hear the little dollop splash as my turd tries to hit a triple 3.0 in the shit olympics.
scoobdog Posted August 19, 2019 Posted August 19, 2019 19 hours ago, lupin_bebop said: Yeah. Most people are quiet poopers. You think you are. Just wait until you have you release a shit Kraken so fierce that your colon and sphincter are forced to do epic battle just to get that fucker to drop a few inches through that peephole you call an anus. You know which one I’m talking about......that fucking double Baconator, taco night queso, lasagna bake shit. You know the one that builds up so much, you start asking for a fucking gay priest to perform an anal exorcism on you just to widen you up to prepare for the coming fury. THAT one.....you’re fucking grunting to pound that out. I don’t care how quiet of a person you are. Load up on fiber, and you'll never grunt again. Of course, it'll be the exact opposite where you don't make it to the toilet sometimes.... but at least you don't have a coronary doing it.
Recommended Posts