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Girlfriend is moving to California tomorrow


Naraku4656

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6 hours ago, Naraku4656 said:

Ok now I'm confused myself. She just called me after she landed and wants to do a video call tonight. 

Okay, Naraku.......I like you......but you have to be careful with this minefield.

My thoughts here: Take the call, but don’t have high expectations. Talk to her, get the input, tell her how felt about the move. Listen to her input. Be honest. Don’t get caught on The Hook, man. Sleep on it. If you honestly, truly want to go out the be with her, do it. There’s nothing stopping you. If there’s ANY inkling of not wanting to from you or her, then stop everything. If this sounds like a really binary way of looking at it, that is due to me being an engineer, a man, and logically inclined. Also, it’s the best way to keep from wasting time.

It may not seem like it, but you have a lot of people who are willing to help and talk to you. Good luck to ya.

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Damn it now I have to agree with Scoob.

Move out there with her.

You enjoy being with her right? So what are you waiting for? What is holding you back? You got what, a mortgage and a job that has you chugging Tums over stupid shit?

 

Get your place ready for sale, or find a renter, and go be with the girl you want to be with.

 

 

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ok so here's what happened. the call just ended. she says that she wants to come here and see me in August to which I agreed to. i'm going to play this by ear to @lupin_bebop's point and see how it goes and being careful not to make any promises about going there. mid-August is a ways away and it might not even happen. and no i'm not moving

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4 minutes ago, Athena 92 said:

Idk man it sounds like she at least wants to try to make it work.

i would love it to but i don't see how it could. we haven't been together long enough to make something like that work. if she's willing to try for it then i will too but we're going to need to talk about this more to understand what the expectation is. it's not even a low confidence thing it's more of a "well ok so we changed our minds, now what?" thing

Edited by Naraku4656
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UPDATE: we've been video chatting both the day she left and yesterday. she actually texted me first and asked for today too. so i'm still confused myself on what our status is. i been trying to be coy about asking but i think i should just point blank ask her tonight

Edited by Naraku4656
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14 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

if that's true then i'll play it that way. i didn't really want to break up but we both talked about it and i thought that was the plan

Well then it's hard to say. It could be just good friends, have to see if anything leads to vid-sex to be sure >_>

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41 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

UPDATE: we've been video chatting both the day she left and yesterday. she actually texted me first and asked for today too. so i'm still confused myself on what our status is. i been trying to be coy about asking but i think i should just point blank ask her tonight

Only you would be confused by this.

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13 hours ago, Naraku4656 said:

UPDATE: we've been video chatting both the day she left and yesterday. she actually texted me first and asked for today too. so i'm still confused myself on what our status is. i been trying to be coy about asking but i think i should just point blank ask her tonight

I don't think any of this for the last few months was real now.  You knew the ramen noodle this was dead and this is your new troll.

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45 minutes ago, cyberbully said:

I don't think any of this for the last few months was real now.  You knew the ramen noodle this was dead and this is your new troll.

As sad as it is I'm actually not. I'm terrible at reading people unless they tell me exactly how they're feeling. Or if it's super obvious

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7 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

As sad as it is I'm actually not. I'm terrible at reading people unless they tell me exactly how they're feeling. Or if it's super obvious

The girl you were boning mere days ago wants your attention....It doesn't get more obvious than that.

Edited by cyberbully
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6 minutes ago, cyberbully said:

The girl you were boning mere days ago wants your attention....It doesn't get more obvious than that.

I get that but we both agreed that if she moved then we were done. That didn't change when she left. If she's changed her mind that's fine but we need to talk about it

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Just now, Naraku4656 said:

I get that but we both agreed that if she moved then we were done. That didn't change when she left. If she's changed her mind that's fine but we need to talk about it

C'mon man, that had to be a stressful situation....She probably thought it easier to agree to be done because women are nuturing (mostl of them anyway) by nature and didn't want to complicate your life....The way to be a man is show her you're down to weather the storm.

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3 minutes ago, cyberbully said:

C'mon man, that had to be a stressful situation....She probably thought it easier to agree to be done because women are nuturing (mostl of them anyway) by nature and didn't want to complicate your life....The way to be a man is show her you're down to weather the storm.

Fine. I'll play ball. We're probably going to talk again tonight so I'll ask when we're going to meet up again

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Just now, Naraku4656 said:

Fine. I'll play ball. We're probably going to talk again tonight so I'll ask when we're going to meet up again

There you go, be assertive, but not a jerk.  Being a jerk and still getting the girl is an advanced technique and you aren't ready.

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so today we've been together for two months. she texts me as i get in the garage and tells me to open the front door. she sent me a whole BUNCH of stuff. flowers, candy, some other things. i'm very flattered but i can't help but be a bit concerned.

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1 minute ago, Naraku4656 said:

so today we've been together for two months. she texts me as i get in the garage and tells me to open the front door. she sent me a whole BUNCH of stuff. flowers, candy, some other things. i'm very flattered but i can't help but be a bit concerned.

You did NOT break up with her. You are in a long distance relationship. 

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3 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

so today we've been together for two months. she texts me as i get in the garage and tells me to open the front door. she sent me a whole BUNCH of stuff. flowers, candy, some other things. i'm very flattered but i can't help but be a bit concerned.

Just meet her in Vegas and get married or something.

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3 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

but then i'd have to go to the west coast. bleeeeeeeeeeh

Are you ultra conservative? Otherwise I don't know why you'd have such a problem with California. Are you afraid of earthquakes? Droughts? High living expenses?

Like Ginguy pointed out, since you're in IT, there should be plenty of jobs for you here, at least in the bay area.

Edited by Doom Metal Alchemist
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Just now, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Are you ultra conservative? Otherwise I don't know why you'd have such a problem with California. Are you afraid of earthquakes? Droughts? High living expenses?

worse than that, Californians. EAST COST BEAST COAST

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1 minute ago, Naraku4656 said:

i feel like i'd be down with having a few drinks with scoob though i feel like he'd ditch me for getting a blowie from a shady looking hooker in the back of an El Camino,

Hey, I'll get a two for one.  It'll be great.  I'm really loads of fun.

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