Skiles

That rocked.

My mom threw away a bunch of my toys when I was a kid. When I found out, it legitimately took me months to fully forgive her for it. It was a betrayal. Especially with as active as my imagination was. Those toys had meaning for me. It was like threw my friends away. Fuck that.

Good, because the vibe I aim for is Rowlf from The Muppets.

I tried it on one day just as a bit. It made me laugh, so I wore it to work the next day. A couple people thought it was funny, but it was mostly for me.

So a wild bobcat came through and fucked a regular-ass house cat? OR the house cat impregnated the bobcat, which is definitely funnier.

That's probably true.

It's a deal. I'll mail them in a box that is far too big, for comedic purposes.

I've been having more and more dreams where I'm sucking my own dick. It isn't constant or anything, but this month it's probably happened three times.

I'll be honest, I thought this thread was gonna be way different.

I already shmoked 'em, bud. What kind of maniac quits smoking mid-pack? You spent like five bucks on them, might as well kill them off.

I'm not even stressed about the holiday. Actually, the lack of current stress is why I'm trying now.

Probably. I've tried to quit smoking many, many times.

Well, now you legally have to tell us.

What if one of them ended up being your mom or dad tho

I'm never smoking another cigarette for the rest of my life. No sir. No ma'am. No way. No chance. No dice. Not me. Nuh-uh. Not so.

Yeah, but it's not worth it. You can't put a price on the shame of being the kid of the guy from Friends.

I'm not following. Please explain in greater detail.

I don't think even Matt LeBlanc's kids want to be related to Matt LeBlanc.

Your taste buds don't change when you enter a new tax bracket. If I had like, big boy money, I would eat so much Wendy's that I would literally die. And when I say literally, I mean literally. It would actually kill me in a matter of months because I have no self control.

Dude, half of having kids is lying to them. Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, the idea of school being important, respecting authority, it's all bullshit. And we teach our kids that bullshit so they can pass it down to the next generation.

Well, go get it. This is important information.

Fourthed.

Oh, in Louisiana? No doubt. Again, this is just the ones I know about.

Those are just the ones I know about. There could be hundreds more.