Skiles

None, sadly. But I want one. I consider myself a connoisseur of trash food, and the McRib is the pinot grigio of high-speed gourmet.

I miss proper use of quotation marks.

I don't pray with them either, really. I just don't want them to peek and see that I'm just standing there like a goon. If I'm praying for anything in that moment, it's that they'll at least keep it brief.

I find it very funny that there are definitely many people out there who are sexually attracted to the Geico gecko.

That's happened to me a couple times too. It's so awkward, but I just go with it. If that'll make them feel like they did something meaningful today, then I'm happy to stand there with my eyes closed for two minutes.

That's me. Keeping it classy. I even drink the really fancy beer that's $4 for a six-pack.

Yeah, the newest one I've played is Black 2, I think? I fucked with GO a little bit, but only for a week or so.

I hate that newer games censor names now, but it's kinda fun figuring out what you can get away with.

Mostly because I was already mentally committed to using a male Nidoran when I amazingly encountered my female one. And I'm not gonna not use a Pokeboi when the encounter rate is literally 1%. I got them back to back.

Well yeah, I'm not trying to hook up with a stranger with everything going on. I can wait another year or so.

I mean, that's not all I do. I have a job and shit. But that's what takes up most of my free time. It's pretty tight. My Fire Red team has a Nidoking and a Nidoqueen. I've never even used a Nidoqueen in that game because to catch one early, the encounter rate is 1% and I never took the time to find one. But this time I found one in the second encounter so I was in like Flynn. My squad is Molly the Raticate, Cappo 10 the Raichu, Kevin the Blastoise, Twerp the Butterfree, Deathnote the Nidoking, and Princess the Nidoqueen. In other news, getting laid again does not appear to be in the immediate offing.

Never be afraid to reach out to a professional for help. Even if you have to go inpatient somewhere, do it. Take every necessary step to get yourself right. I know we roast you sometimes, but at the end of the day, you're just a person and you deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else.

Maybe, but in the cases I see at work, that doesn't track. These people are enrolled in Medicare Advantage plans where they literally can't have it without Medicaid. And the enrollment process is really long, and it asks and confirms several times that the person has Medicaid. Then again, most of the people I work with are old folks. Maybe it's just because they brain not work so good no more.

These maniacs must be stopped.

I don't know how that even happens.

Do nine men interpret? Nine men, I nod.

This joke stinks. 10/10

Hey, I'm definitely in better shape than Joe Pesci. I know my man's like 80 years old, but still.

I live the life I live.

People swear by them. I don't know if I'm down with it. The more I think about a toilet making my ass wet, the more I'm out on the whole idea.

Yeah, they're great, but you can't really flush them. Especially if your piping is pretty sus to begin with.

That's real.

Foamy pees happen when I drink too much beer on an empty stomach. Poops, never.

Me trying to sign the receipt at the bar when I'm trashed.

But the paper just won't come back clean? Happens to me a lot. No fun, dude. I wet up some TP and that usually does the trick. But sometimes your butt just doesn't cooperate. It's probably my diet, which, right now, is gas station food and beer.