Skiles

RIP to the homerun king.

Bite your tongue. Chicken nuggets are universal. They are ageless.

I'd love to say I wouldn't be caught dead saying that, but I'm also 80% sure I have said it before unironically.

Why do I love this video and hate it simultaneously?

Why? Is this a repeat of your burger cowardice? Don't underestimate my ability to house an asinine amount of food.

Can't say I've tried them. But I'm sold based on the name alone.

Depends on where you get them.

"Nutguts" was my nickname in college.

Well, I've got some good news for you.

Discuss.

Because it was on the TV at work the other day.

Maybe so. Looks like old Jimmy was right.

She's so specific, y'know? Like country music is not a universally admired music genre. And as a country singer, unless you're that psycho Garth Brooks, odds are people who don't listen to it probably don't know who the fuck you are. But somehow she ended up having her own show that aired on WB for like six years. I mean, props to her, I guess. I'm not a huge fan of the show, but some people love it. The whole thing is just very interesting to me.

This is definitely reason to vote for old Donald McTronald back in there in 2024.

It should be a thing everywhere, if you ask me.

I don't need story with my porn. Fuck plot. What, so now I gotta listen to these people talk, too? I just want to click my mouse, watch some dude literally piss down some chick's throat, jerk it, and go to sleep. Just like every American.

Not with that attitude. Clearly you don't believe in yourself.

He DEFINITELY can't make caviar. Do you even "make" caviar? I don't even know.

You ever think about the fact that Donald Trump almost definitely doesn't know how to make scrambled eggs?

Just being practical. No sense in believing in something I've never seen first hand. Could be a conspiracy by the government to make me think front loading washers are real.

Those don't exist because I've never seen a front loading washer. And obviously if I've never seen it, it's not real.

This is insulting to my sensibilities, sir.

Hope the diet goes well. I should be inspired, since I'm in the middle of one of my fat phases. Eating like shit and boozing. If I had to guess, I'm probably around 160, which is not great when you're 5'1.

Take a shower every day, brush your teeth regularly, and fake being an adult like everyone else. There. I fixed your life. I presume the check will be in the mail?

Eating burgers isn't about being full, it's about asserting your dominance over the burger. You gotta show the burger who's boss. The Burger Boss.