molarbear

Does it ever leave little one word messages in its for you?

I'm going to continue to pretend it's useful for everything at this point because it's gotten too big to kill by normal means

a couple months ago I noticed a tiny spider in the bathroom by the water shutoff (little area between the toilet/shower) at the time, I was like "man....there's been a lot of little flying things in the house, maybe it wouldn't hurt to keep it around." So, like any other completely sane and normal person, I said out loud "Alright spider, as long as you stay over in that corner I will leave you alone." FF to today, there is now a small pile of 7 dead roly polys underneath its' web, and zero flying things have been seen in the area.

..... rebuttal

Nice man! How has it been? Any annoying ass neighbors yet? Got any roommates that do bizarre shit? If you do have roommates, you may get to experience one of them breaking up with a crazy person! You'll wake up one morning still tired and cranky, having to go to work, only to find a weird folder on your porch with drawings and magazine head cutouts in it and serial killer like writings. You'll toss it inside Dave's room, he'll wake up mad and go "wtf?" and you'll say "I dunno man, but if I get murdered by your ex.... I will haunt you."

I always thought myself more a connoisseur of cheese

She's a heckin cutie

I don't live there

The lack of a comma is intentional I was trying to get a fart out while saying that in my head It was actually more like "I too am in this possst ...st"

I too am in this post....

Murder rates increase with ice cream sales is the way it was explained to us in Stats last semester Heat tends to make people cranky Also, it's hot so people buy ice cream There's no direct link like to ice cream making people want to gat someone suddenly though.... at least to my knowledge

My cousin adopted a thing

Has that ever worked with the old ladies that block the entire aisle with their cart while acting incredibly interested in the ingredients of a ear of corn? I swear they're a special breed of old cranky ladies who go to the store just looking for a fight Probably some secret fucking Cranky Grandma Cabal (CGC) that wait until exactly 22 mins after posted closing time to decide they don't want that fucking corn, then they all leave their carts exactly where they are, and emerge from the store brandishing the heads of poor souls who bumped their cart or looked at them, much like the band of the hawk carries their war trophies You should just do pick up, it's a game changer...and potential life saver

directly west of cat You've probably remember it somewhat now

Seriously though How much would it suck to be on your daily jog, you're making great time, spotify is slappin that day with its random choices from your "liked" songs .... you notice a slight shadow growing larger and larger in front of you, and you look up in time just to see 40 trump faces barreling at you at the speed of "ah fuck"?

I really want to visit NYC just to see how there are trump supporters up there.... Also, wtf are you peeps doing that you're so bored you went off and built some kind of world cricket stadium? I read that in Carl's voice with a Pooh "Oh bother" at the beginning *completely off subject, but I would like to strongly recommend everyone watch the college softball world series this week

I had to read way too much shit before finding out the cat was ok Maybe drop a "TL:animal is ok" next time? XD

Right? Thing straight up looks like it got cleaved

It's almost like this Jesus person is trying to strongly tell them something.....?

Ah shit.... That is a tough one, I'm sorry.

Nothing I have planted this year has bloomed Today I'm outside and happen to look up and see this, and then I proceeded to flop on the ground laughing uncontrollably I'm guessing a squirrel or a bird got the seed there? Either way, that's a sunflower growing out the side of the chimney. I'm 1000000% sure this is Nature mocking me

They could have taken the Baby Metal route, and they chose this I hope the Athletics become the California team to beat, while claiming to be in vegas for tax reasons >.>