EmpressAngel

Not a clue. No he screams too much, I'm here for the chick in her underpants and the angry leader who wants them to shut up. The manga for part 3 started in the beginning of 1989 I wasn't even born yet! I wish he'd kept that pantsless look but now I wonder what he's seen over the past few weeks that made him think extensive groin protection is necessary. Impossible, she's not beating him to death.

Clover- I already have a headache I am going to murder this boy tonight. Dude I'm pretty sure the creepy sister-fucker is shameful enough. Never make that face again you're creeping me out. Oh fuck me is this gonna be a thinly-veiled recap episode about his journey so far? Fuck you too, rich douche. Asta wrote a terrible sext trying to beg the nun for nudes. Dudes just enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts. It's like a shitty, tetanus-riddled version of Hogwarts. That random bird is the best character. I CAN'T HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, MANSON. Just let that man shit in peace. Hi puppies! I am already exhausted by these guys. Oh hey it's the bitch princess. Shut the fuck up. Don't fight, you're both bad and unlikable. And nothing of value was lost. Haaa, she sucks at magic too. Ouuuuch. No you're a failure and I'd pity you if this was a better show. Good job bitch you knocked yourself out. Good lord dude how long were you shitting? I like how the whore appears to just not own any clothes. Dipshit on cue. I enjoy how their leader could not give a fraction of a fuck. The lesson here is that they're both awful in exact opposite ways. There continue to be exactly two people in this squad that I don't want to see suffer painfully. Jojo- Maybe Polnareff will luck out and Avdol's dad has a stand that's perfect for taking down zombies, and then I'll have to cry because he has to fight his dead son. Why was Sherry's zombie naked but Avdol's zombie is fully clothed? I mean I'm not saying I'd bang the zombie I'm just saying show me his dick, you cowards. Oh jesus this is gonna destroy me. Polnareff is having a real rough day. They're zombies remember to go for the brain. Never trust a genie. This was all Poolnoodle's fault but it's hard to watch. WAIT WHAT? Please be real please be real please be real. HE'S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. Oh how I've missed that huge, muscular cock. Eat shit, genie. Aww Polnareff is crying and I can forgive him now. NO DON'T HURT MY BIRD. Please don't kill him again I just got him back. That's gonna leave some emotional trauma. If you touch Avdol I will kill you myself. God I love him. I'm so glad that Avdol is alive and now he's wearing a solid metal codpiece that absolutely makes me focus on his crotch. Poor baby I'll nurse you back to health. Where the hell is he hiding? Set his breathing tube on fire. I'm glad they're having fun. AVDOL OH MY GOD. That guy must have a great view. You might wanna get Polnareff to a hospital now. Haaaa, everybody else knew. I like how Avdol's dad disguise was just white hair and no pants. YELLOW SUBMARINE. Polnareff you're forgetting that Joseph is disgustingly rich. Wait, who's taking care of the chickens while Avdol's gone? Today was a great day. Gundam- Really hoping Mika doesn't die here. Did...did they skip over the entire fight? "King of Mars" does have a nice ring to it. Be careful kid, eyes don't grow back. Now that's a sword! I'm sure there's a valuable lesson we all learned here today but I couldn't tell you what it is. What is that an ashtray? Don't fuck this up, you'll get harem man killed. I mean, I'd choose basically any ally over the child fucker too. Well this dude sure is screwed. Hi harem man! Mika might be broken. Oh fuck he's paralyzed. This is probably a real bad thing. Does Mars not have doctors who could take a look at this boy who basically had a stroke? Everybody stop and take a hug break. Atra what the fuck. Oh yeah that dude is definitely alive. Someone please shoot this guy before he screws over everyone. You look like a Musketeer-themed hooker and you suck. Paint racing stripes on it, it'll go faster. I shouldn't find it so funny that Mika's getting hauled around like a sack of potatoes. I got a bad feeling about Orga's mental stability. Oh this is gonna get depressing. Sooo are we just gonna ignore Atra's sudden fetish? Hunter- I don't wanna suggest you call Hisoka in for backup but he's probably jacking off just behind the nearest tree. That is an excessive amount of humans. Buzzkill, living up to that name. Hi Titscorpion. Somebody please fucking kill that spider. A decent attempt from Buff Minotaur. Nooo not the horses. You're gonna have to kill this guy. Oh this cannot be a good thing. What in the FUCK. Oh god why is it wearing a speedo. Please don't hurt my adorable kids. Is it time for Kite to bring out his weird clown scythe? I love my children. RIDE THE LIGHTNING, BITCH. Aim for his speedo, Gon! Aw crap, he lived. Big deal, Hisoka's threatened them with worse and they still hang out with him. I'm pretty sure my kids will get out of this alive but I'm nervous about Kite's survival. Please kill the speedo rabbit. If you touch my kids I will destroy you. Yeah well if the other squads jumped off a bridge would you do it too? Wow, Thundercat's squad is hardcore. That weirdass thing in the background with tennis balls for eyes is freaking me out. Sheer willpower and rage are the only things getting me through work too. That sure is a lot of dead bodies. I got a bad feeling about this.

More importantly...

Okay serious question, the hell is Avdol wearing?

AVDOL OH MY GOD

I'm so glad that Avdol is alive and now he's wearing a solid metal codpiece that absolutely makes me focus on his crotch.

He whipped out Magician's Red again, I've missed that giant muscular cock.

HE'S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK

Why was Sherry's zombie naked but Avdol's zombie is fully clothed? I mean I'm not saying I'd bang the zombie I'm just saying show me his dick, you cowards.

Maybe Pol will luck out and Avdol's dad has a stand that's perfect for fighting zombies. And then I will cry because he will have to fight his own dead son.

Imagine trying to clean that ceiling afterwards. Oh no, they could never. Way too many nipples.

The orgy also has straight couples, so there's not really any difference there? Literally nobody gets a happy ending in this show.

I mean, there's also a pretty explicit orgy in the first episode where both women and men are seen with same-sex partners.

Clover- At least the nun will go unharassed for another couple of weeks. I'm sure this guy is trustworthy. HELLO THERE DRUNK WHORE, maybe this won't be so bad after all. Aaaand we have a creepy sister fucker nevermind. Shut the fuck up nobody cares. This random sheep chef that doesn't talk is by far the best character. I do enjoy seeing Asta get hurt. Okay I like this drunk whore. Thank you for making them shut up. STOP TRYING TO FUCK THE UNWILLING NUN, YOU DIPSHIT. This whore is too good for this show. You're creepy, shut the fuck up. Does he just keep saying "good people" because they couldn't be assed to write half the script? I like how they hate him. Please kill him during training. I hate everyone here except that whore and the leader. It's a good thing his skull is too thick to hurt his brain. That tongue hand is creepy. This show is gonna give me a migraine. I don't think I'm lucky enough to have him die here. You stupid bastard. Why does everyone have to scream in this show. Come on whore, have some standards. That's a damn Naruto headband, you shitty ripoff fucks. Oh hey it's that girl and she also has enough sense to hate him. Jojo- Please be a hot dude. WAIT A SECOND IS IT MY BOYFRIEND. Awwww look at the cocks. I am so confused. Okay so Avdol's dad looks just like him only he doesn't wear pants, I can work with this. Oh no I'm going to cry I need to console these unreasonably buff old men. THIS IS YOUR FAULT, POOL NOODLE. Yes good he should feel bad. Stop letting Polnareff go off alone he always gets attacked. Aw shit it's a magic lamp. THE LAMP IS A STAND. Wish for Avdol to come back to life you asshole. Oh no, that was definitely the stand and you're going to die. Okay it's real now make my boyfriend come back. Oh my god you stupid bastard. YES BRING BACK AVDOL. I forgot about his sister but it's nice that she gets to live again. I mean I'm sure this is gonna go horrifically wrong but I'm willing to risk his life on it. Maybe get her some clothes though. Oh this is not gonna end well. Don't make me feel emotions for the toilet-licker. Well now I'm gonna cry. Ohhhhh that cannot be a good thing. I got a real bad feeling about this. AW FUCK IT'S ZOMBIES AGAIN. Somebody go rescue Polnareff, again. OH NO I WANTED HIM BACK BUT NOT LIKE THIS. Gundam- That is probably not a good thing. Now that's a sword. No of course he doesn't care, he's got a second grader at home to molest. Oh you are going to die. Take your shirt off and get in a robot already. Oh hey that one dude's still alive. This girl is probably regretting her life choices now. Aw crap the buff one's hurt. Aw crap the robot's broken. I don't understand robot science. Shut up, dick rider. Hi wives! Oh no please don't kill the wives. Use this douche as a human shield. She has had enough of your shit today, sir. She is still pulling for that harem end and I wish her the best. I don't know what most of that means but good luck kids. Someone please stab the child fucker. Man I think this is already more throuble than it's worth. Mika continues to not give a fuck. Oh my god you dumbass she is gonna beat your ass. Yeah sure put two of them in one robot so they can both die. Oh hey small child try not to get yourself killed. Aaand this is going right to hell. Aw shit did the adorable small child just die. I wanted shirtless Orga but not like this. Mika kinda has some real issues, doesn't he. Hunter- Man is there any fight happening this week that's not going tits-up? Wow that sure is sad. Come on this is just excessively tragic. Dude that is setting a really low bar for human decency. I don't even remember if we know who Gyro is but this is almost funny it's so over the top. Ohhh that's who that is. Shrektaur doesn't give a shit. Meanwhile, GUN VIOLENCE. At least Nipplegator's enjoying himself. Y'all might wanna just cut your losses and run for it. What a shock, humans with weapons are bad. Professor Penguin is perplexed. Yeah Buzzkill that's what you do with royalty. Aw crap don't give it a name you'll just get more attached. Yeah I'm sure this'll go well for anyone. Oh thank god you're smart enough to leave. SHIT. Oh god that is a huge fucking spider set it on fire now. WHELP Y'ALL ARE FUCKED. Mother of god why does he talk like a muppet. It's too late just use his death as time to run. This is a real bad idea y'all need to get the fuck out now. SHIT IT'S TITSCORPION. Never show me that face again. He's already doomed you need to escape NOW. Aw shit. Fuck you, Nipplegator. I am very afraid for my adorable children here. Okay that horse is cracking me up. Oh god that is a lot of blood. Hey Killua you should call your sexy dad in to murder these things. Lupin- Rebecca's having a rough day. Well that's different. Call Tom Hanks for help. Stop breaking reality, Leo! Bob Ross would not approve of this painting fuckery. Because treasure is shiny and buys a lot of nice things. I don't want to like him but Da Vinci's voice sure is sexy. Yeah that didn't go so well for Orpheas back in the myth. The answer here is to blow smoke on him. Fuck your husband, Rebecca. EAT SHIT, DA VINCI. Oh hey that worked surprisingly well. Let's all point and laugh at his failure. Da Vinci hates disco balls, clearly. IF YOU DIE IN THE DREAM YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE. Oh good they're alive. You don't look so good, my dude. Wow how did you not think of that. Aaaand he's dying. All of you have great potential, except Rebecca apparently. And then he died. Do all Lupin shows eventually fork off into weird shit or is it just this and Fujiko's series? Hey Zeni nice of you to join us. Sorry Nyx you're late to the party. HI FUJITITS. Hey y'all forgot Goemon. The prime suspects are the members of ZZ Top. Fuck your wife, Lupin. Ouch Lupin that's cold. Awww honey that's sweet but Fujiko has a bigger rack. Hi kitty! Robsen needs a vacation. Show, I have no idea what that says.

OH NO I WANTED HIM BACK BUT NOT LIKE THIS.

So Avdol's dad looks just like a palette swap of him only he doesn't wear pants. It's not my ideal situation but heeey old man how you doin?

YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION

On the one hand, Ryo is the worst and his stupid bowl cut hairstyle makes me angry. On the other hand, I would also probably do terrible, unforgivable things for that dick. Seriously, that thing's a work of art. I'd have it painted on the Sistine Chapel.

Nope, just you. From what I've seen on Twitter and Tumblr, most everyone seems to be happy to see Dandy again.

Reminder that they wouldn't need to take a detour to get an extra person if someone hadn't gotten Avdol shot in the damn face. #stillsalty

The alternative is so much funnier, since most stand babies probably aren't super geniuses and wouldn't have perfect control over their power. Avdol's family must have had the fire department on speed dial for the first couple years of his life. Black Clover- Devilman Crybaby may have broken my ability to feel joy but this show proves that I can still feel unrelenting hatred. The most realistic part of this show is that everyone hates him. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT YOUR MOUTH. Yes we get it he wants to be Magic Hokage you don't have to mention it when every single character sees him. Grimer, I choose you! This guy looks like a douche. Douche confirmed. Wow shocking how that plan went awry. Dimestore Griffith is impressed. I like how this girl doesn't give enough of a fuck to even wake up. Of course everyone wants the guy who actually has talent. These just sound like teams from Legends of the Hidden Temple. I am getting annoyed with Marilyn Manson's random mumbling. Please no one pick him, crush his spirit right here. I'm sure this is a fakeout but hey it looks like watching him suffer makes me happy after all. It turns out that when all you can do is swing a sword really well, you're not cut out for things that don't involve swinging a sword. Insult him more, it's like a late Christmas present. Maybe people would like you more if you were capable of shutting the fuck up. Oh this is some bullshit. Way to ruin a moment, dipshit. I'm rooting for the lizard here. Bye lizard. I would give anything to not have to hear about his shitting issues. I hope that's a portal to hell. I do like seeing him blow up. Jojo- I can't wait to see Kakyoin beat the crap out of a baby. At least the sky is pretty out there. I hope his mom is doing okay. Shut up Polnareff you licked a toilet you don't get to have an opinion. Baby if you kill everyone you probably can't get out of the desert. I'll eat your baby food Joseph. THE SCORPION IS A STA- false alarm not a stand. Meanwhile, Polnareff being a dumbass. Kakyoin is having a bad night. Dad Joseph is adorable. Kakyoin that just makes you lookeven crazier. Great job you're getting outsmarted by an infant. Whelp now you're all gonna die. Eww gross. First you knock him out and then you call him fat, you dick. OH NO. JOSEPH NO YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THAT. What, you just rolled with the monkey having a stand but this is too hard to believe? THE HAIR IS A STAND. This could be going better. Please start with Polnareff and give the others time to escape. Now punch that baby! Well hey at least someone's having fun here. Hey wait didn't Kakyoin summon his stand before y'all knocked him out? TENTACLE ATTACK. If he were my type that line would work on me. Kill that baby Kakyoin. Shut up Polnareff you dumb bastard. You really think none of these guys would punch a baby? Well shit that's not good. SUCK IT, BABY. Is that how he mind-fucked that nurse? Those pancakes look good. Polnareff doesn't deserve pancakes. Ewww. Nah I'd just leave the baby for dead. Kakyoin oh my god. DADSEPH NO. We wouldn't need a new guy if someone hadn't gotten Avdol shot in the face. Gundam- This fight may have been a bad idea. Your mask is stupid and you're stupid. You are not able to defeat it and you will die trying. Shut up Fuck E Cheese. And then this was Eva. Dude I'm not gonna remember any of this story. So basically you're saying everything is screwed. Yeah you might wanna get everyone out of town before hte murderbot arrives. No you should definitely leave or you're going to die. You idiots. Mika continues to give no fucks. Now take off that shirt and be my quasi-jailbait eyecandy again. No let the creepy child fucker pilot that thing I want him to suffer. Whelp you're fucked. Do not trust him he's just here to bang second graders. At least one of these kids is going to die. Get off his dick boy just let him do his thing. This is not going to end well for you, buddy. Really should have made those idiots evacuate. And then everybody blew up. The armor can't handle it and he's going to die. Whelp there goes the town. Instead of torturing the small children why doesn't this show just kill off Hitler already. Oh hi Mika. Yes both of the Geass boys can fight to the death. Hunter- I could give you names but they'd probably involve the fuck word. The bloodthirsty Amish are a strange group. I get the feeling Hisoka is already here, creeping on small children. The hunter girl whose name I forgot a long time ago is cute I hope she comes out of this okay. Alright so we got Thundercat, Titscorpion, Professor Penguin, and Flying Buzzkill. And now there's Karma Chameleon. Oh that sounds creepy and bad. I'm too lazy to think of more names for Shrektaur's minions here. Wait they're Amish why do they have computers. Got it, it's the hidden porn room. You can take the underwire out of my bra when you pry it from my cold dead tits. Those seem like some excessive restrictions. I'm pretty sure Hisoka would hide a phone up his ass just for the experience. Killua just get on the horse like a normal person. Okay you'd think the country would want help with their murder monster problem. MAFIA KOALA I LOVE HIM. Meatballs are pretty great. Thanks, Karma Chameleon. Oh come on that kid wouldn't even make an appetizer. Mmm, fresh baby. A koala in a suit with a gun is hilarious. Oh no I got a bad feeling about this. JOESTAR TECHNIQUE, GO. Thank you arrow guy whose name I forgot. Shrektaur is going to kill all of you. Lupin- Oh right, Da Vinci was here. I got a bad feeling about this. I would not visit that exhibition. I like these dumb jerks. That is exactly how I feel when someone gets on the intercom at work. Oh this is gonna be a mindfuck isn't it. I'd definitely pick Fujiko first. Fuji's ability is that incredible rack. I hope somebody's special skill is just getting fed up and punching him in his pretentious Renissance balls. Yeah it is strange for Zeni not to be 20 feet away. A dream you say, LALLY HO. Yeah sure let's just assume that makes sense. Man you could steal so much loot right now. Jigen could be doing better. It's not the size it's how you use it, Leo. Fuji you should have worn a shirt that shows more cleavage. AIM FOR THE BALLS, JIGEN. Sorry Da Vinci, he's got better echolocation. AIM FOR THE BALLS, GOEMON. That was too easy for Fuji. Zeni did good. God I love her. I am way too dumb to figure this plot out for myself. Goddammit Rebecca. Dude if you wanted a clone orgy for yourself there were easier ways to get it. Be careful with that thing or you're gonna put everyone in a coma. Great job you failed. Go fuck your wife, Lupin. I never realized Leonardo Da Vinci was such a bag of dicks.

Y'know what, I'm genuinely happy for you. I wish I had so few problems going on in my life that I had the energy to give a shit how many times I've seen a specific episode of a show I don't even like.

Finished it. My soul hurts, my brain hurts, and I cried through the last two episodes straight. Thank god for these random yet desperately needed capybaras.

I'm halfway through it and I've learned to stay away from drug orgy raves in abandoned warehouses and also that boy's dick is ridiculous. 10/10 so far.

That would be my guess. Just too many nipples to handle.