EmpressAngel

All I remember from last time is hating Sword Art even more. Sword Art- I straight up have no memory of what's going on. Bryce finally gets to earn a paycheck this week. Yes walk into that dark creepy alley. Who? MINDTAKER, OOWEEOOO. Should I give a shit who this kid is? Oh hey, lesbian AIDS ghost. Honestly we should all just be grateful that Asuna gets to do anything at all anymore. Kirito was too good and perfect and he's just mad that he didn't get to fuck him. Please kill the fluctlights. This is a lot less dramatic when you remember that it's all a video game. Thanks, magic lesbian AIDS ghost! Silly girl, you know only Kirito is allowed to defeat the villain. You nerds are all in a video game, goddamn go outside for a change. Oh, this was those idiots he let die back in the day. I forgot that they seriously used "beater" as an insult for beta players and how stupid that was. I'm fine watching Kirito suffer through his inner mind PTSD theater. Suffer for my amusement, bitch boy. You're right, you're terrible and we hate you. Send in his weird fake virtual daughter. Hey there, guy who's literally just an NPC in a video game. Oh no, her character might die in this video game that they're playing. Fuck it, after what like 14 seasons of this super coma bullshit, I'll take whatever crap Kirito's gonna pull. I don't even remember how long he's been missing that arm. I still have no idea what any of this has to do with Alice. Fire Force- I don't think we're topping last episode when my boyfriends hit a fire demon with a truck. Just let them have her, she's awful. I'm kinkshaming this bitch. And nothing of value was lost. You're a good friend but very stupid. I hate her. Hey there Captain Sexy. Ya did good, kids. Aww, at least the random citizens are nice. Whelp, that's a bummer. Honestly they did pretty good considering there were like 40 monsters running around. I'm glad we can keep the Ice Tuba around because that thing cracks me up. I have no idea who these fancy guys are. Oh fuck me here comes the unnecessary fanservice. Hiii Vulcan. I still don't trust Creepy Science Dandy. I forgot Joker existed. I'm surprised we didn't get the murder hell volcanoes in 2020. Welcome to China, I guess. Oh good, their cute friend is here. I do love potatoes. I almost didn't recognize him without his hats. Ass Class- Squid sensei is still best teacher. I hate that kid. GUN. These clones. Oh dang now that's a real reward. Suuure the principal doesn't want them to fail. Oh they fuckin. So the principal is really kneecapping their class to maintain the status quo even though it risks ending the entire world. I feel the urge to bully these nerds for their lunch money. They're definitely getting screwed out of that premium study spot. This family is terrible but they do have some sweet evil music. Puddings of the World is an extremely important textbook. Fuck you, nerds! Just stab them. This contract sounds like a real bad idea. It's gonna be fun watching them lose to the reject class. Force them to switch you classrooms. I'm sure this is gonna go just great for you and your dickbag father. You should have just let the Vocaloid take the test. Good luck, kids! HAMMER.

Confession: I see the orange hat and glasses and keep thinking your icon is Dale from King of the Hill before I remember that it's not.

I straight up have no memory of what happened in Sword Art last week, just my feelings of anger and confusion. Wonder Woman- RIP random pilot. Oh, false alarm. God I'm gay for Wonder Woman. Oh sweet, they're magic healing lesbians. You are sentenced to death by snu-snu. It's me, I'm that friend who wants to go here. Punch me next please. Hello there Milf Queen. I volunteer to live on Magic Lesbian Island in her place. Hope that dick is worth eternal exile. Okay I love Etta already. Everyone is gay for Wonder Woman. Diana honey get your shoes off the goddamn bed, you weren't raised in a barn. I'm pretty sure every girl kinda hates her mom just a little bit deep down. Y'know what, I'm your mom now. God I'm gay. I could watch her punch men all day. Oh, he looks good with the beard. Oh this plan is gonna go awry. HEY KOOLAID WOMAN. This is definitely someone's fetish. Please kick my ass next, Diana. Aw fuck. I mean, it's kinda Vanessa's fault for stealing ancient artifacts and trying to sell them off to villains. This is probably a real bad idea. RIP this random dude. I hope Etta gets to bang an Amazon by the end of this. Y'all fucking yet? Oh yeah, I'm sure you can handle Wonder Woman on your own. Silver Swan is a really, really dumb name. Everyone is gay for Wonder Woman. I keep hearing that island name as "The Mascara" even though I know that's not right. I love Etta. Oh no it's a furry. I hope David Bowie's inside that labyrinth. Aw hell it's a minotaur. Sweet, free shortcut. Furry bondage is definitely someone's fetish. You okay there, honey? Aww, Minotaur is a friend now. Mystery solved, thanks to the strange fish. Aw fuck it's a trap. Well hey, at least you won't be incinerated now. Romantic as shit, y'all. Yeah I feel like launching an attack on the goddamn Amazons isn't going to work out for them. I love the OG outfit. Please let Etta bang an Amazon. Don't worry Diana we all have some unresolved mommy issues. KICK HER ASS, MILF QUEEN. Uh ladies you might wanna step away from the evil green coffin. Aw fuck it's Medusa. Wow, what a surprise that the villains' plan of controlling an evil super being did not work out well. I hope that purple light stuff works on shattered rocks. Aaaand she's dead. If Etta dies we riot. Well now you've gotta beat her weird snake ass. GODDAMMIT STEVE. You're kind of a shitty mom aren't you. RIP hair snake. Oh god she's gonna jab her eyes out isn't she. OH GOD WHY. Could you not have just closed your eyes!? SCREECH. So now you can both get wrecked by the gorgon together. Huh, that was surprisingly easy once they got close enough. Oh hey, everybody's fine. Wonder Woman is your mom now. Magic healing light now please. AWWWWWW. Happy ending for everyone. FUCK YEAH, GET IT ETTA. Oh right, this bitch. OH SHIT. You're going to die, lady. I'm intimidated and horny. Justice League- Hi there, random Keith David. Huh, there's a lot of actually famous people in this. You kidnapped this poor bastard from Mars, you're lucky he didn't just eat your lungs. Aww, he's a nice shapeshifting alien monster thing. I'm always gay for Wonder Woman. You go, girls. Supes I am literally never going to argue against vigilante women taking revenge on their rapists. Haaa, he turns into Bugs Bunny. Surely nothing bad will happen on this Vegas trip. I was expecting Mr. Freeze. Oh, he's The Flash. That's actually pretty awesome. That ain't normal. I know this guy eventually turns into Green Lantern but that is all I know about Green Lantern. If you don't bang this lady I will. Ghost cop? BATMAN FIGHT CLUB, GO. Oh she thirsty. I'm sure this The Center thing isn't important at all. Welcome to Mars. This Batman sounds weird. Batman will fucking kill you. SHIT, MONKEY. Fuck the government. Never trust a cult. Flash quitting means basically nothing to me. I want to know more about Ghost Cop. Just let that poor alien hitch a ride home. And then they died. It's pretty funny watching him try to punch the other guy through the space helmet. Thanks, Supes. Whelp, sucks for that guy. Poor alien. Hello there, lesbian Amazon. Well, that's not normal. I like you, weird creepy alien guy. Oh hey, Robin. I am here for this giant angry pterodactyl. RIP invisible jet. Fuck everyone else, this alien is the best character. That sure is a look there, buddy. Of course it's fucking Florida. She found your Super Suit! I'm stealing your girlfriend, Hal. Oh good, Robin Hood is here. Jurassic Park got weird. RIP dinosaurs. Oh yeah, I'm sure Superman is really dead now. Not gonna lie, I'm rooting for DINOSAUR ISLAND on this. Surprise, the dinosaurs are filled with more horrifying monsters! I have no idea who most of these people are. Oh no, alien guy. Motherfucker just died while exploding a t-rex's skull. And then drugs. He gets a cool green uniform now. Run faster, flashy boy! Save me next, Wonder Woman. Bye, Dinosaur Island. Oh no what now. Get out of here Aquaman, nobody asked for you! Thanks, random cartoon JFK.

This series isn't allowed to end until I get Endeavor killed with my unstoppable thirst.

@NaBarney was a great Santa, you guys are just mean.

You know what's scary? Sword Art has become so stupid and painful that I almost miss Black Clover. At least Yami was good. Sword Art- God I hate that fairy so goddamn much. "He was crying so we dragged him out into the middle of the murder battlefield because we thought it would help." If Kirito actually dies here I'll forgive a lot of this bullshit. Oh fuck you show. Klein getting shanked was not my fault. Am I supposed to know who this new guy is? Who the hell is this girl!? Why is she singing? Show I don't remember some random schmuck from like eight years ago. What the fuck is happening. Show I literally do not give a fraction of a shit about this guy. Is Kirito his brother? Wasn't he living with his weird incest sister-cousin's family because his real parents were dead? Show I already hate every character, you don't have to make this guy racist as fuck to make me hate him. Can't these nerds just remake their video game characters after they're killed in this video game that's not real in any way? Meanwhile, something else that's stupid in a different way. And nothing of value was lost. Is the entire point of this massive battle still just to get Alice for some reason that I forgot a long long time ago? Yeah, go ahead and remind us that you're thirsting over a blood relative. I can't even enjoy watching characters I hate get javelin'd in the face. So now none of them can die because their thirst for Kirito made them immortal? He died as he lived, simping for his 2-D waifu. That nerd guy is definitely not fine. Man at this point I'm almost thankful about Kirito waking up because at least maybe now this show will get slightly less stupid if it just focuses on him doing sword things? Fire Force- Aim for the dick! Oh no, Shinra has to think carefully. ICE, GO. I forgot this guy had some weird kind of trumpet thing. Ohhhh, that's not his power at all. Just turn off your fire and hit him in the dick. Send in Captain Sexy for a straight up muscle fight. You, beat the shit out of me next! And then Shinra died. Well kid the important thing is you tried. She's definitely into this. MANLY SPIRIT. I love you Captain Sexy. You're Deviilman now. Oh hey, he won. Whelp, false alarm. Aw crap they're all gonna die. Okay so call those guys. Oh no both my boyfriends are here and neither of them have powers. You okay there, creepy science Dandy? WIND POWER, GO. Maki is my girlfriend. There is literally zero competition for Best Girl in this show. BOYFRIEND NO. Stop putting the two hot buff dudes together, you're going to kill them. Oh my god, he's an idiot. They're going to die and this is not my fault. Did they just hit a demon with a truck? Todoroki would be proud. Okay some of those repeating comments are pretty funny. Oh right, the blindfolded assholes are still here. Ass Class- Karma's just jealous he didn't get to knife a teacher. Sweet, free pool! Squid-sensei is still best teacher. Even they thought Nagisa was a girl. Oh no, he's annoying. You know you're a cephalopod, right? Look at this nerd, getting good grades. Kid you look like 40. BIKE SQUID. Fuck you that was a nice bike. Never forget that Karma's a violent lunatic. Thanks, Ninja Tatum. Oh hey, it's the brother. Look with your special eyes! Ewww. Oh no, he's damaged. Fuck you, weirdly old middle school kid. I hate this kid. Yeah this is gonna go just great for you. Wasn't hurting the students against the rules? Karma's really grown on me, crazy little bastard. "The only one who's been swept away is you, and also all our classmates who may be about to die." His backstory is that he's terrible and nobody likes him. That girl's not even fat. Can we just kill this douchebag instead? Just let Squidbro kill him. Of course this kid doesn't change his clothes. Everyone bully the new boy! "Well that escalated quickly." Oh now he's mad. Kill him, thicc girl. I hate him and I wish he'd died. His weakness is that he loves his students.

Or, HBO offered the movies for free or super cheap as an optional holiday promotion, and Toonami wasn't going to turn it down because some random weebs on a site they don't even know about might get their panties in a twist over it. Wonder Woman's a super popular IP right now; the first movie made over 800 million dollars and the sequel comes out at Christmas. Getting some related movies for free that appeal to a larger audience than just their usual group of depressed millennial nerds, which also buys them an extra week of episodes for the shows they currently have in case securing new ones is still difficult next year, is a win/win for the block.

Legit sitting here sobbing over this derpy snowman I made because I found out they only live for four days. 😭

'Kay so the duck didn't respond at all, so if you still wanna step in we can partner up. 🎅 @ everyone: My understanding on this is that 1/2 buy for each other, 3/4, 5/6, etc.

Neat.

I messaged Quackers earlier, so we'll see if I actually get a response. I appreciate the offer.

Jesus Christ you people will complain about anything.

I'm dumb and don't know how to tell who I got please help me

2003 series did turn that one guy into an automail Terminator. Whether that counts as a pro or a con is a personal choice.

And we got a two-for-one special on those, to no one's enjoyment. Sword Art- No shit he thinks you're a traitor, you're a traitor. I have no idea who that person is. Oh my god HE WAS THE FUCKING TENTACLE MONSTER. Fuck the Americans. Oh, is it Sinon's turn to get molested? I need an adult. Man they are really going turbo on the sexual assault this season. What the fuck now. Wait did she save that electrode from the last time she was almost murderaped? So does everybody suck at their job here or what. I feel nothing watching these people lose their video game characters. I miss the AIDS lesbian. This entire thing is goddamn stupid. I'd say they're all being ridiculously overdramatic about this but then again, they are gamers. These two horny fuckers aren't dead yet? Oh, I guess Leafa finally broke out of whatever rape dungeon she was in. Meanwhile in the real world, what the fuck is happening again. FLUCTLIGHT. Did you people really never notice the exploding eye thing before now? Why would you put your own ID number as a hint that you sabotaged the program? What in the goddamn fuck am I having a stroke? Did he really do all this to avenge his in-game waifu???????? Black Seitz doesn't have to be in Sword Art anymore, thus making him the luckiest son of a bitch in this episode. Again, this is all inside a video game you weird weird people. Every week I have less of a clue what the fuck is happening in this plot. This is that guy's fetish. Great job protecting him, y'all. Fire Force- After what we just watched I'll take the fucking Lecher Lure. That's unfortunate for all these people. GUN. Vulcan no you can't die. Okay there's like 20 people combusting into monsters, can they really not just call in help from anyone else? You can go ahead and take that girl. Yeah, how dare you rescue people for free. I continue to hate her. That's a lot of infernals. I'm definitely about to get Vulcan killed here. You have a communicator, just have her do it over the phone. Oh great, slutty nun time. What is with the block and the nun fetish? Vulcan's going to die while she bumbles her way through more painful fanservice. Oh hey, that guy. I'm assuming Arthur just got lost somewhere. Oh hey, those other guys. Is the new cute guy here too? No really, just let them have the unlikable brat. This is her fetish and I'm kinkshaming her. Here have some more nuns. I'm surprised they got so many people. This is going too well. Oh hey, there's Arthur. Sounds like it's time for a dance battle. RIP entire town. ROCK ON. Ass Class- Nah, Karma's just batshit crazy. He hijacked his monologue. You just killed Nagisa. Everyone's thirsty for him. I don't trust this new gym teacher. Okay he's got cake, I'll trust him. Koro no that cake's probably poison. Oh shit he's a terrible person. Oh god he's a dad right out of Endeavor's handbook. I don't like this. You're about to get killed by a giant murder squid. No, he just doesn't care for the way you're backhanding children! Send in Bitch Sensei to kill him. BEAT HIS ASS. Call Karma, he's fucking crazy and will stab a teacher. And then Nagisa died. Aim for the dick! Good luck, kiddo. Holy shit he actually did it. Snaaaaaake. Mmmm, knife. Go home, fucker. You're not my real dad! You're not the class mom. DADDY PUNCH. Oh hey, the principal actually does one fucking good thing in his life. They just stole his wallet.

Mirko doesn't make the top 10 but Tall Deku, who hasn't been relevant in literally years, hits #9? This is bullshit. On the other hand, sexy steampunk pirate Aizawa is looking great.

Alright, here's the digital code from my copy of the second movie. First come first serve, bitches.

Hey, at least Star Wars didn't take Chewbacca and turn him into a Nazi.

Just pirate that shit like any self-respecting millennial, you clown.

Bones I am begging you to let the dudes have nipples in this one.

Oh no, somebody in that writer's room has to fight me for the choices they made for that movie.

I'm in!

It's none of our fucking business, you paranoid weirdo.

That actually makes so much more sense than whatever they were saying in the actual episode, thanks. Sword Art- What bullshit awaits us this time. You're a little late there, gun girl. Reminder that this is all inside a goddamn video game. Yes, his death was pointless but at least he doesn't have to be in this show anymore. All of this has also done irreparable damage to my soul. Could the nerd not just program a portal to the magic alter here or something? Oh, it's that one angry punchy guy. I feel literally nothing about their suffering, show. Are y'all fucking yet? This is definitely a metaphor for pegging. Haven't these two known each other for like a day at most? At least if they die they don't have to be here anymore. Klein is still the best character. I hope Klein is the true love that wakes him up. Oh what the fuck is this now. I am supposed to know who this guy is? This is stupid. Who the fuck is that girl? THIS IS A VIDEO GAME, YOU WEIRDOS. What in the sweet and sour fuck is any of this? Oh no, her video game character might be lost forever. "Holy crap that's a lot of nerds" is exactly what I say every time I get on this board. THEY TERK ARE JERBS. Holy fuck, one single person in this show knows how a video game works. Oh hey, Black Seitz gets to do something. Oh no, all these fake video game characters who aren't real people are dead. I wonder if sister-cousin is still being tentacle raped for EXP offscreen. Shocking that this plan went awry. Fire Force- I hate you and your ugly baby onesie. Iti's fine, nobody died and the creepy guy got to feed his weird weird fetish. Hug it out, boys. Hey there, Captain Sexy. I can't give you any help but you have like a whole eight people to save the planet with. Date me. God I am gonna get this man killed one day. "Girl you dated a hobo." I already don't like this girl. They look like if Team Skull gave up the Pokemon game. The house, the house, the house is on fire. Oh, I really hate her. "I was born to run an extortion racket on the elderly" is not a good take, bitch. Girl just start taking drugs instead of sprinting into house fires. That's a lot of fires. Maki continues to have absolutely zero competition for best girl. Hiii Vulcan. Just have Gunman start shooting everything. No really, am I supposed to like her? RIP redshirt friend. "We're planning on ending the world, join us!" The hell? Just let them take her. Good job now you've just consolidated yourselves so your enemies have less work. Ouch. Ass Class- Calm down there, crazy boy. OH, THAT'S A BASEBALL. I appreciate this OP because of Bitch Sensei's jiggling boobs. So I guess that's just the only dance move these kids know. Oh, you're just here for the mockery. Squid is best coach. FLIP THAT TABLE. Baseball squid! I don't know enough about baseball to know what's going on but good job kids. Eat shit, other kids. If you can survive against him, other students are easy. You just broke this poor kid's brain. GUN. Whelp, this was going too well. Defeated by the other team's boobs. Well kids the important thing is that you tried. Dude it's middle school gym class calm the hell down. Have Bitch distract him. I am exactly at that level of sports knowledge. I like that his strategy is just being a douche. BUNT. That boy is definitely on steroids. Karma, go stab him. He's gonna hit you with that bat. "Just kill some students, it'll be fine." Random squid face for a second there. Good job kids I'm proud of you. Now go stab the principal. The real victory was the friends you made along the way.

This is all I can think about.