mthor

Kegelspasms.

You're way too old to date the girls you pursue.

Not butterflies, vultures, like the ones that will be circling overhead after I react with my cat-like reflexes and my amazing right hook (Don't laugh. This is my 18 year old reaction because when I was 18, between making bread and splitting wood, I had arms you would have sold your soul for.)

It does usually take a while for liver problems to actually manifest. I'm guessing he won't start turning yellow until he's in his early to mid 50's.

I suppose, but it would seem like you'd be used to it by now. Maybe you need to have Madison jump on it for a while to break it in. 😁 Actually, maybe you need one of those padded mattress covers.

HOW DID YOU GET MY PICTURE? AND HOW DID YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS LOOKING AT??

And she's waiting for you.

Sure - especially if you tell her that you cause double damage if you use both hands.

Take it to rants. Seriously, if it keeps hanging on, you may want to see a doctor.I had a cough like that one winter.After 2 or 3 weeks of waiting for it to go away, I broke down and got seen - wound up with two inhalers and a course of prednisone. Turns out I had bronchitis. Take heed - I've never been a good example, but I excel at being a horrible warning.

Because it's basically useless.

@Zenigundam When are you going to change your avatar to ?

Granted, but the planet was Pluto. I want to have the power to win more than i spend on every lottery ticket I buy.

I love to see the Amish at Walmart. There's something so intrinsically wrong with watching the traditionally-garbed matrons checking out the tupperware.

Trivial Pursuit, but I warn you, when I play, it's a blood sport.

Granted, but be prepared to stand in line so that the TSA people can search you. I want to be able to walk through walls.

Check your temp - you may be spiking a fever.

I'm guessing #2. I'm not sure why; the only one I'm willing to bet is true is #3 - it's too weird not to be.

Granted, but only when you're using the toilet. I want the power of telekinesis.

The alcohol was already in the medicine. @Still Me - aren't most elixirs compounded with alcohol? I know that historically they were, I'm just not sure how much it's changed.

Quick! Go get on the scale! Even though you know it's just a temporary water weight loss thing, it's so gratifying to see the numbers plummet like that.😉

That was beautiful.

GO CATCH IT!!!

Does it come with instructions? (I'm serious.)

A lot of things do, if you have a script.