Doom Metal Alchemist

Is The Wiz, and nobody beats him.

"Son, I'm naming you Philip J. Fry, in honor of my little brother. Who I miss every day." "Here lies Philip J. Fry. Named for his uncle, to carry on his spirit."

Favorite Snork is the one that got a snorkel boner in that one episode of Family Guy.

*googles* Well that was disappointing.

Favorite music genre is applecore.

Favorite drink is Pine-Sol.

What anime is this? I need to know... for science.

Dang I thought they only did that in Texas.

And here I thought it was a tank.

IRL Hand Banana?

That doesn't explain how you simultaneously quit and were fired. Hint: Being fired from your job and quitting your job are two mutually exclusive things.

Popular opinion: The Wizard is a terrible movie. Possibly unpopular opinion: It however is satisfyingly entertaining.

Insists on referring to Cosmo Kramer actor Michael Richards as "Mike Dicks."

Mashes potatoes with a weed whacker.

Mashes potatoes with his fists while screaming "HULK SMASH!"

Makes potato batteries with mashed potatoes.

Laughs like that one guy from Revenge of the Nerds.

Eats Chops his breakfast off on a mirror.

Independently published his first book, titled "Sorcerers, Wizards, and Mages: Know the Differences."

Pecks people's heads like Woody Woodpecker.

Yesterday I didn't want to get out of bed so I used 4 and a half hours of PTO so I didn't have to.

Works for me.

I'm 42, am I included in this scenario? I was never really a gamer in adulthood but video games were basically all my whole childhood was about and still a big part of my adolescence.

Frankly I think the real issue is that very loud very vocal evangelicals have turned the entire point of Christianity into hating on basically any group of people that isn't them, and for a lot of people that means hating a lot of good people and people close to them, and young people especially see this and think "fuck this" and leave the church. They stop that shit and young people wouldn't be so turned off and leave in droves.