Doom Metal Alchemist

The Doops (Democratic Order of Planets)

Toot

Toad (Tad)

Eyehatedog (does two letters switching spots with each other count as changing one letter?)

Goatshake

Ale Divine

Electric Lizard

Icee Earth

Bling Guardian (is "bling" as slang completely dead now?)

Hello, Ween (different rules here, changed no letters, but split one word into two and added punctuation)

Slater

Pentaglam

Iron Madden

Yea

I don't think you're coming at this from the correct angle.... Aliens observing us would be like our biologists studying.... well, whatever it is they study out in the wild. They'd find us fascinating in how primitive and stupid we are.

In England they call cookies "biscuits." Like, what? Some group somewhere calls them "sweet meats." I can't remember who.

ATHF had a great one for that: Chicano.

What made me feel / realize I'm old was when my younger cousins graduate high school / college. One of my cousins just graduated high school. When he was 5 I was in my 20s. 😭

That's kinda funny to me that you consider the peak of your appearance to be ~2013. A couple years ago I randomly found a selfie from 2013 on my comp, and godDAMN I knew I gained weight since I was younger, but I was a FAT FUCK back in 2013. I've since then gotten skinny again.

Time is nothing but a construct created by man.

I'm just gonna pick Mario because it's the only game (or series of games) on that list that I've played.

I thought this was going to be about steaks.

C'mon, ghostie doesn't have long hair.

Creepiest show I've ever seen. Just a character standing around doing nothing with a blank look on their face is enough to creep me out. But "boy howdy" it gets much creepier than that.

How did you end up with your step-dad's last name in the first place? I really have nothing of value to add, other than from what you've described, I would change your last name back to your father's last name. By your description, I have what I think is a pretty good guess to what your first name is. 😆In my experience, people who don't like their first names either alter it somewhat (Jonathan / Jon / Jonny), or, what would probably be a good option for you, is to go by your middle name. I knew a few people growing up that went by their middle name rather than their first name.