Doom Metal Alchemist

Cosmo Kramer is his hero.

Is spending a life sentence imprisoned in The Shark Tank.

Damn. We in Cali get earthquakes and wild fires. I guess in the mountains there might be blizzards, but I don't live in the mountains.

I honestly had no idea New York got tornadoes.

His jaws are full of shark teeth instead of human teeth.

Was a big player in the short-lived vaudeville revival of the 1980s.

Signed up for Twitter just to heckle and harass Elon Musk.

Was that mime.

Was the sax player for Black Sabbath when they were still known as the Polka Tulk Blues Band.

Was every criminal that was arrested on Cops.

Sounds like a cat in heat when laughing.

Sounds like Mandark when laughing.

How come with movies, the behind-the-scenes person that gets all the glory is the director, while no one gives two fucks who wrote it (unless the writer is also the director or star), but with TV, no one gives two fucks who directs any given episode, but instead people only care about who wrote them?

Thanks guys

Thinks the only good Beatles song is Revolution 9.

Met his favorite porn star in a bar. He opened a bottle of beer with her breasts. She then slapped him. She was still willing to take a selfie with him though.

Happy birthday!

Was the one who got Rush Limbaugh his own radio show. Regrets nothing.

Dentist visits are always so unpleasant.... and yet life would be infinitely worse without them.

Only uses real card decks for solitaire, calls people who use computer/mobile solitaire apps "posers."

Refuses to eat any Asian food with chopsticks, but insists on eating steak and potatoes with chopsticks.

Eats soup with a fork