Doom Metal Alchemist

Was that mime.

Was the sax player for Black Sabbath when they were still known as the Polka Tulk Blues Band.

Was every criminal that was arrested on Cops.

Sounds like a cat in heat when laughing.

Sounds like Mandark when laughing.

How come with movies, the behind-the-scenes person that gets all the glory is the director, while no one gives two fucks who wrote it (unless the writer is also the director or star), but with TV, no one gives two fucks who directs any given episode, but instead people only care about who wrote them?

Thanks guys

Thinks the only good Beatles song is Revolution 9.

Met his favorite porn star in a bar. He opened a bottle of beer with her breasts. She then slapped him. She was still willing to take a selfie with him though.

So here's a post Musk retweeted: https://www.forbes.com/sites/antoniopequenoiv/2025/03/13/musk-retweets-hitler-didnt-murder-millions-message-amid-ongoing-nazi-controversy

Happy birthday!

Was the one who got Rush Limbaugh his own radio show. Regrets nothing.

Dentist visits are always so unpleasant.... and yet life would be infinitely worse without them.

Only uses real card decks for solitaire, calls people who use computer/mobile solitaire apps "posers."

Refuses to eat any Asian food with chopsticks, but insists on eating steak and potatoes with chopsticks.

Eats soup with a fork

Pitched "a show about nothing" to NBC.

Is the Jerry to my Newman.

Has modeled his life after George Costanza.

Thinks anything that dissolves in milk is funny.

Swears up and down that Metal Magic is the best Pantera album. Is absolutely willing to die on this hill.

Was the ghostwriter for World Domination For Dummies.