Codename: Jackass

There was this ASCII art of JR's head and cowboy hat that was made of a bunch of his slogans that I haven't been able to find for the longest. I had it saved on my old computer but it's dead now. I want to post it really bad. THE PEDIGREE! THE CEREBRAL ASSASSIN DOES IT AGAIN! AND OH MY GAWD THAT'S SHAWN MICHAELS COMING DOWN FROM THE TITANTRON. SWEET CHIN MUSIC! REFEREE EARL HEBNER IS DOWN AND HE'S NOT GETTING UP. SOMEONE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!

It highlights the curls quite nicely, but, personally, I've always like the look of natural, dark-colored curls as well.

YOU COULD HEAR THAT IMPACT ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE ARENA OH MAH GAWD, STONE COLD STUNNER! STONE COLD STUNNER! STONE COLD STUNNER! @Nabloom

Right now I'm craving a pan pizza with beef, mushrooms, onions and green peppers. Also another six-pack. I sure as hell am not driving in this state, though. Actually, I'm also craving for this burn on my arm to heal already.

Yeah, well, we all have problems, and it's not like you can't talk to your friend in other ways. Build a bridge and get the fuck over it.

Who wants a pic?

I'm signing the petition to ban Athena92, all cucks must be banned.

you fucking cuck mods

*teleports behind you* *unsheathes katana* Tch, nothin' personal, kid...

I hope it's a permaban.

That's a fuckin Snowsquatch

Good day, Vegeta butt.

They'll be played on oldies playlists in twenty years. That's even worse.

I have a 32-year-old friend who still rides BMX recreationally when he has the time. I think it's cool that they're out there having fun, adults need to relax sometimes.

I wore the banana suit to my next Halloween party in his honor.

MAKES YOU WANT TO FEEL LIKE A TEENAGER UNTIL YOU REMEMBER THE FEELINGS OF A REAL LIFE EMOTIONAL TEENAGER THEN YOU THINK AGAIN

You won the battle, but you're losing the war.

You wanna be safe? Smoke cigarettes or cigars. They keep the blood pumpin' when the body starts to shut down. You wanna be safe? Build a bomb shelter. You want safe? Invest in solid gold bars, just like from Looney Tunes. You wanna be safe? Get a degree, get a few degrees but mainly stick with one. Psychology and sociology, the hardest sciences there are. You wanna be safe? Start a non-profit and grant yourself, ehhhh, a six-figure salary.

Are you backin' up your data? Someone's backin' it up. It ain't you.

Good day, memester.

Now I don't want any part in cannibalism, but I will assist in the murder.

Panhandling is always a popular avenue. Just make a sign out of cardboard, make it say something really pathetic like "Lost HOUSE lost CAR now HOMELESS ANYTHING helps" in really closely bunched script (but spell it right, it won't be convincing otherwise) and sit yourself outside the local Walmart or McDonald's. Now, the hard part will be going without a shower for a few days. Also make sure to wear the same clothes. If anyone at your current job asks, just tell them that you're experimenting with a more carbon-neutral lifestyle, they'll buy it hook line and sinker and you may get a few people to join. Don't elaborate any more than you have to, this is key. Keep some mystique without making upper management think you're having a mental breakdown. You may also want to starve yourself for a few days to get the gaunt, malnourished look just right. There was this Christian Bale movie a few years back called The Machinist where he played a guy with insomnia who also wouldn't eat. Bale would limit himself to a can of tuna fish, an apple and copious amounts of black coffee for about a month until filming was complete. This is extremely effective. A month is probably too long, but a week or so is the sweet spot. Remain vigilant while panhandling. Real bums may resent you encroaching on their turf so be ready to throw down. Watch for people who may call the cops, especially look out for nosy, middle-aged white women, fearful children with big mouths or store employees. If they start scoping you out too hard, immediately relocate. If you see police, very carefully extricate yourself from the situation. Take up a running regimen and learn the areas where you plan to beg so that you don't get boxed in and also can outrun the pigs. Refuse offers of food or other non-monetary handouts. This is about earning cold hard cash money and those suckers who are trying to give you food aren't helping you earn that extra scratch. Be rude and angry, violent if need be, without resorting to physical attacks. That's a sure way to end up in the nuthouse on a 72-hour psych hold, and that's 72 hours that you won't be scraping up spare change off the pavement. If you play your cards right, you'll make five bucks a day. EZ MONEY BOOOOIIIIII.

I'm going to abstain from masturbation today, purely out of spite.