Codename: Jackass

You're just an NPC in my simulated life, your dreams are irrelevant. My dreams are irrelevant, too, because this is a simulation of hell.

derp

A really cool hat. Like, really cool. Cooler than the Top Gun hat, even.

D-X IS JUST BRUTALIZING REFEREE EARL HEBNER NOW! STOP THIS, SOMEBODY NEEDS TO PUT A STOP TO IT! GAWD HAVE MERCY! -Jerry "The King" Lawler gives a womanish shriek *GLASS BREAKS* IT'S STONE COLD! IT'S STONE COLD! HE'S RUNNING TO THE RING NOW! AND... STONE COLD STUNNER! STONE COLD STUNNER! STONE COLD STUNNER! TRIPLE H IS DOWN AND HE'S NOT GETTING UP! -King gives another shriek. "AND NOW HE'S GOT SHAWN MICHAELS TOO... HE''S GOT THE STEEL CHAIR! AHHH! YOU COULD HEAR THAT IMPACT ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE AMERICAN AIRLINES CENTER!

You barely know me, guy. You should love me! I'm great!

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

I've worked my whole life for this moment.

Yo His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin' What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now The clocks run out, times up, over, blaow!

I have never once been to a gas station where the attendant had to come out of the store to start the automated car wash process. There's vomit on my sweater already, mom's spaghetti.

@Nabloom @Mix

You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the light until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but blinding!”

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. What's next, the attendant pumping your gas for you too?!

Car wash at a gas station? What tomfoolery is this?

Enjoy being raided by the FBI for ever having had contact with the evil profit-destroying media thief.

The best part of working at a gas station is when someone spills gasoline all over the place and you're the only one working that shift because the company are greedy scumbags and you have to go clean up the gasoline but find out that you don't have any diatomaceous earth and you tear open a bag of mulch instead and then you get five people in line all of a sudden and they think you're a slacker because they only saw you outside but don't know what you were doing and they give you the stink eye and then someone from out at the pumps bitches at you because there's a big pile of mulch on the ground and then you sudoku.

Marihuana is a dangerous narcotic that makes normal, mild-mannered white children kill each other and fuck in the streets. Are you a marihuana addict? Get out of my sight, filth.

RIP in peace

Who are we referring to here? Athena92 is a girl (female).

Okay, I've got an idea. Stick with me here. Okay, so, I move to your state, and then I infiltrate your facility by assuming the identity of one of the clients. Now, stick with me here. We will coordinate a time and place for me to make a scene, and I will "bodyslam" you into the wall. You say "ah ow my shoulder wtf" and then boom, six weeks paid leave. I will break out a window like the Chief in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and then we will have lasagna rolls at your house. I have solved your problem, that will be fifty dollars please.

If you're trying to flush something like pot out of your system and you have an interview coming in the next week then it's already too late. Bullshit detox diets and drugs aren't going to do anything. The only hope you have is to drink a shit ton of water and pop a vitamin B tab so your piss still looks yellow, but if it's a lab urinalysis then they'll probably throw an inconclusive for dilute sample.

This is unmistakably ploppyflops.

HOLY SHIT DAMN DUDE INCREDIBLE

BOOMER SOONER! HE'S MORE TIRED THAN A ONE LEGGED MAN AT AN ASS KICKIN' CONTEST. THAT POWERBOMB BROKE HIM IN HALF! AND OH MAH GAWD, THE HUMANITY. TAKER GOT HIM WITH A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!

Those were the good ol' days.

Taken earlier tonight, two days after the fact.