Codename: Jackass

attaboy

Spilled a glass of water on the floor at work I'm gonna get fired for sure.

That's kinda hot

Nag champa Makes it easier to talk to the aliens.

This is gonna be a really hot one. Hundreds in early June are never a good sign.

You have ass cancer, sorry.

Not right away but you'll have a stroke in your fifties.

I haven't been serious since 2006.

Patrice lives on in our hearts.

Remember Spider-Man? HE STINKS AND I DON'T LIKE HIM.

I think Jim's a funny guy. He and Patrice were the best out of them. Also, RIP Greg Giraldo.

SHOW SOME RESPECT That's famous stand-up comedian Jim Norton.

When I don't have internet and need to masturbate, I open up my word processor and write an erotic short story. It helps me visualize the sex.

break a leg boiiiiiiiiii

How about 50?

I don't use social media because I fear enemies of the state using my likes as ammo against our fine country.

Imagine a 4.5", uncircumcised penis on a pudgy 30 year old. There you go.

I don't use Facebook but I hope you kill your first show.

Converge do make some sick breakdowns. If you're ever going to be in the Dallas area doing a show, please let me know. I'll come see you play.

I don't know if this is going to be throwing gas on a tire fire or not, but you're actually not a bad looking guy, Jeff. Do you like Converge? I'm listening to them right now. Here's a picture of my burn about twenty days after the fact.

I've seen a nice dick or two in my time. It's a very in your face, no illusions organ. Either it's a good penis or it isn't. There's no splitting hairs.

I live day by day. It's how I keep sane.

I don't know any music theory but I always liked Meshuggah's guitar tone. On Chaosphere, the album that New Millenium Cyanide Christ appears, it sounds really fucking heavy. I know you play in a band so I won't pretend to be amateur music theorist, but to me it depends on the song and the band's catalog. It works for Meshuggah because of their style. They only started using 8-strings later in their career. Iommi got the most out of his tuning, as did a lot of other great guitarists. I think it comes down the the skill of the musicians and their ability to discern what works best for their style. I hate "metalcore" bands that think breakdowns are heavy simply because it's a breakdown. If you can get through it, here's what I think a breakdown should sound like. Converge are one of the most technically proficient metal bands in the scene today, and Kurt Ballou has an excellent ear for what tuning and arrangement should be. It'll be at the 0:57 mark or so. They also wear their punk influence on their sleeve, so listener beware. btw it took me like five minutes to write this