How about a new hip-hop group called the Rappin' Republicans?
Gotta indoctrinate 'em while they're young and these are the hippest, most happenin' dudes.
They'll spit rhymes about oil subsidies and how Obama is evil and they'll even use a Herman Cain lookalike so they don't appear racist.
Doesn't that sound like the stupidest gimmick my sleep-deprived brain could think up?