Houdini Splicer

Whatever it takes to get the job done, I guess.

You're such a badass sadass.

Do it. Be the Alpha.

Hmm... I'll need cooking oil, a roll of duct tape, two spatulas, a boat paddle, and a cordless drill.

That would be one helluva trick.

*rubs palms together* Good, good. Muwah-ha-ha-ha! *ahem* I mean, oh, what a tragedy.

I would almost feel sorry for the little fella. Almost.

Maybe so. My line of thinking about Farmers Only was if Zeni tried intimidating some of those women, they'd hunt him down, hog-tie, and castrate him.

Try that farmers only site. Get you some of that country 'tang.

This right here. Doesn't it say it all?

Yeah, I'm getting the police, and I'm showing them this shit. Look on the bright side: by the end of the day, you won't be a virgin anymore. Oh, and when you see 'Mule Dick' Mike, and you will, tell him I said Merry Christmas. He'll know what you mean... and you soon will, too. Creepy little bastard.

Now, does this Elliot guy have an older brother named Michael, a sister named Gertie, and a special little friend that lives in his closet?

There is no envy, and you have no potential, beta boy.

Oh, I don't feel bad for you at all. However, I do feel bad for anyone who ends up with you. On second thought, no I don't. Anyone who ignores all the warning signs and red flags deserves what they're getting into.

Nevermind. It's nothing.

I'll say it once. I'll say it again. You're a creepy little bastard.

It's not supposed to make sense, even though it totally does.

Then my work here is done.

You know how the witch in Hansel and Gretl had a house made out of gingerbread? Well, turns out she never had an exhaust fan installed in her bathroom. You know how nasty old people shits smell? It wafted down the hallway from the shitter, and permeated the whole house. Thus, the gentle aroma of gingerbread and feces. Hansel and Gretl didn't shove her old ass in the stove just because she was trying to eat them. Oh, no. She had dropped a big ol' deuce earlier, and the smell was making them projectile vomit. So, now you know, and knowing's half the battle. G.I. Joe!

RIP

Outside your window. It's Zeni, so grab your mace, gun, frying pan, or whatever's handy.

That 'dink-dink' noise.

There's a killer on the road His brain is squirmin' like a toad Take a long holiday Let your children play If you give this man a ride Sweet family will die Killer on the road, yeah